A 4-year-old boy and a girl kissed each other on the school bus. What do you think of this \”gangster\” behavior?

As a parent, how do you feel when you see your 3 or 4-year-old child hugging and kissing other children of the same age like adults? In Lianyungang, Jiangsu, a 4-year-old boy and a little girl of the same age were photographed and uploaded kissing on the school bus. In the video, the children first hugged each other and kissed each other, then turned their heads and shouted: \”Teacher, are you watching?\”. After saying that, the two children hugged each other skillfully and kissed each other. It can be seen from the proficiency of the movements that this is not the first time the two people have kissed. The parents who reacted the most to this incident were the parents of the two children. The girl\’s mother said she was heartbroken after seeing the video. The boy\’s grandmother reacted even more excitedly, saying that it had caused great harm to the child, and that the child was now frightened to death when he heard about going to school. When I first heard what the boy\’s grandmother said, I couldn\’t help but laugh. This boy is too glassy. He was so frightened that he didn\’t dare to go to school after being kissed twice by a girl. How can he survive in society when he grows up? After thinking about it seriously, the reason why the little boy didn\’t dare to go to school was probably not because he was scared by the kiss, but because he was scared by the girl\’s parents! In this case, most parents of girls will feel that their daughters are being taken advantage of and rush to school to scold the boy indiscriminately. Such behavior may scare the little boy. Many people think that girls are the weaker side and are taken advantage of by boys, so when they hear this kind of thing, they will rush over and beat the little boy without asking the truth, so that he will have a better memory and stop being a gangster in the future. I asked many parents of girls around me about this matter, and their answers were all the same. Many parents said that they would rush over and beat the little boy to make him remember a little and stop being a gangster in the future. The mood of the girl\’s parents is understandable. Generally, at this time, parents of girls will feel angry, heartbroken, and feel that their daughter has been bullied. But do the boy\’s parents really support their children\’s behavior? I asked many parents of boys around me. Although they did not feel as heartbroken as parents of girls, most of them felt shocked and unhappy. They felt that their children\’s behavior was too precocious and they could not accept it. Is the child\’s behavior \”playing hooligan\” or \”precocious puberty\”? If you understand children\’s psychological development, you will know that the age of 4 is a critical period for children\’s sexual psychology development. At this stage, they begin to understand their own gender. From a psychological point of view, this is when they enter the \”sexual self-recognition period\”. Curiosity and attention arise about one\’s own and other people\’s bodies. When a child is just born, he already has the instinct of sexual needs. For example, the baby will have genital reactions and expressions of joy when sucking milk, being hugged or bathed. After being able to control their hand movements, children will begin to explore their bodies, often touching their genitals if they accidentally discover that it is better than sucking on their fingers or playing with toys. When the child is about two years old, after the anal desire period, the child will start to be curious about the people around him. They want to know whether the mother\’s body is the same as their own and what the father\’s body is like. This is just a simple child without purpose. explore. At this time, if the parents scold her for being shameless, it will cast a shadow on the child\’s psychology, and she will feel that the human body is mysterious and shameful, and she will be ashamed of sex.Shame. Children at this stage are purely curious. If parents guide them correctly and introduce their penis and breasts to them like they introduce their eyes and nose, and show them as much as they want when taking a bath, the child will understand the differences in the body. I won’t be curious anymore. However, children\’s sexual psychology is constantly developing. After they enter kindergarten, children will explore their bodies more in collective life. They will not only be interested in the bodies of the same sex, but also curious about the bodies of the opposite sex. They will observe and find out the differences in each other\’s bodies. Children often hold each other tightly, kiss and crawl on each other\’s bodies, and observe each other\’s genitals. They are also most likely to ask gender-related questions, such as asking parents \”Where do I come from?\” or \”Why does mom have breasts and I don\’t?\” ?” and other questions. There are many kinds of discussion behaviors, such as boys competing to see who can pee taller, boys and girls watching how each other urinates, boys competing to see who can pee taller, etc. , some children will masturbate. This is a child\’s normal sexual and psychological growth process and a normal stage that all children will go through. The child\’s appeal is: \”I want to know your body\”. Apart from this, they have no other ideas! It is precisely because of children\’s needs that many kindergarten bathrooms are now shared by men and women, so that children can observe the urinating postures of the opposite sex and see the differences between the opposite sex\’s bodies and their own at will. From a child\’s perspective, all their explorations are motivated by curiosity about the body. It\’s just that if adults look at it from an adult perspective, they will label children\’s simple behavior as \”pornographic\”. These two 4-year-old children kissing are actually just curious about each other, and they may even think this is the right way to express love. After all, children can often see kissing scenes on the Internet and TV. When children ask their parents, if the parents answer that it is a sign that they like someone. Then the child will think in his heart, I like you, so I want to kiss you. If parents look at it rationally and objectively, this matter will pass quickly. But from the video, we know that adults do not simply understand children. The teacher will think the child is funny and encourage the children to kiss each other, so the child will ask: \”Teacher, are you watching?\” After the parents understand, the harm to the child will cause more harm to the child. Therefore, when parents accompany their children, they must first adjust their mentality and understand their children\’s sexual and psychological needs. Don\’t label children casually from an adult perspective. After discovering the child\’s curiosity, answer it correctly, communicate proactively, and educate the child step by step on self-protection and respect for other people\’s bodies. Let the child know that these differences are their own privacy and must be well protected and not allowed to be careless. Exposed at will in front of others, let alone allowed to be looked at and touched at will. After the child\’s needs are met, his sexual psychology will move forward. He will understand that he must respect his own privacy and that of others, and will no longer look at other people\’s private parts casually. When children are young, if parents indiscriminately label their children\’s behavior as \”hooligans\” and label them as \”pornographic,\” the children may develop negative attitudes towards them.If sex creates a serious sense of shame, children\’s sexual and psychological development will stagnate, and their desire to observe the body of the opposite sex will become more and more intense. If parents do not understand their children\’s behavior and treat their children with humiliation or beatings, the children may suppress this appeal and wait until adolescence to explode again, which will bring many adverse consequences. It is very likely that this sense of shame will It will accompany him into adulthood, causing permanent harm to the child and turning him into an exhibitionist, voyeur, etc. In fact, the world of children is much simpler than that of adults. All \”bad\” behaviors of children are also normal stages that will appear in their growth. If parents can understand the development process of children\’s sexual psychology and treat their children\’s behaviors with kindness, parents can The more natural treatment, the smoother the child will grow.