collapse! The child is obviously very sleepy, but he refuses to sleep no matter how much he is coaxed…

Some time ago, a mother of a two-year-old child asked in a WeChat group: \”It\’s time, but the child refuses to sleep no matter how hard I coax him, what should I do?\” As soon as this question was raised, the originally silent group suddenly became noisy, and the mother They complained one after another: \”My baby is the same. Every night before going to bed, he makes all kinds of troubles. Sometimes he wants to drink water, and sometimes he wants me to tell stories…\” \”My baby can\’t fall asleep at all if he doesn\’t bother for an hour before going to bed every night… \”His eyelids can hardly open, but he still wants to play, but he just refuses to go to bed…\” After reading what the mothers said, I laughed. It turns out that getting children to sleep is a problem for all mothers! I think of Rooney when he was two or three years old, and it was the same. I never want to take a nap. I go to bed between 8:30 and 9pm, and I can\’t fall asleep until 10pm. What does he do? One moment he said he was thirsty, I immediately got out of bed and poured him some water; the next moment he wanted to pee, so I quickly took him to the toilet; the next moment he said he was itchy, I had to keep scratching him. After grabbing it twice, he suddenly remembered something, climbed out of bed and started playing with his toys again. Finally, he pulled him back to bed and started reading picture books to him. After reading two books, he was still not satisfied. , got out of bed and ran to the bookshelf to get a few books, and said, \”Mom, I still want to listen.\” It\’s a good thing that children like to read. Can you refuse? Okay, I continued to read to him patiently. After finally finishing reading, he still refused to sleep, so he turned on Lychee FM or Himalaya Radio to continue listening to Uncle Kai telling stories, and finally fell asleep after listening to it. What\’s wrong with this kid? Not long ago, in his infancy, he fell asleep easily during the day and at night. Sometimes, he would already doze off in his mother\’s arms before going to bed. But ever since he could walk, it had become harder and harder to get him to sleep. Hugging her to sleep, rocking her to sleep, humming nursery rhymes, telling stories… all of them are useless! No matter how sleepy he is, once you want him to go to bed, he will cry and behave in all kinds of ways. The original angel baby immediately turns into a devil baby! However, doesn’t the parenting book say that children must ensure adequate sleep and must fall asleep before nine o’clock at night? Seeing time passing by little by little, the child\’s eyelids are gradually fighting, and the mother is exhausted from the torment, but he just doesn\’t want to sleep, what should I do? I believe that at this time, every mother is anxious or even collapsed. If the child does not fall asleep early, will it affect the physical development? Will it affect intelligence? The more anxious the child is, the more reluctant the child is to sleep. Every night, mothers and children have to stage a battle to fall asleep. In order to solve this problem, we first need to know why the child refuses to sleep. We all know that in the first few months after a baby is born, his biggest needs are to eat and sleep. When he is awake, he is held in the arms of an adult, and the scenery he can touch is very limited. As his body grows, he begins to crawl and walk everywhere. At this time, he discovered that there were many interesting things in the house: this ball would roll when touched, there was a small hole there, there were many toys hidden in this box, and that stool could not be moved… It turned out that this The world is so big and so interesting! At this time, he was no longer satisfied with the scenery in front of him, he began to work tirelessly on his ownExploring, he was intoxicated with his newly discovered world and greedily used every sensory organ to feel the world. What was once a hunger that was limited to biology has now become a greedy exploration of the world. \”It\’s impossible to let me sleep! I have too many things to do! After I fall asleep, I can\’t see my dear mother and can\’t touch my beloved toys. No, I don\’t want to sleep!\” There is a wonderful description of the baby\’s psychology in the book \”The Magic Years\”: After we have induced him to experience the sensory pleasures of this world and let him embrace the world wholeheartedly, we try to take these away from him. Take it away and send him back into the darkness. sleep? impossible! You can\’t even open his eyes! He was exhausted. He angrily resisted the hands stretched out to him, cried and yelled, mustering up his strength to try his best to hold up his swaying body, and protested against these \”bad guys\” who had taken away his bright and beautiful world. At this point, we should understand: the children are not deliberately going against you, they are reluctant to sleep. Think about it again, as adults, after working all day and finally putting our children to sleep, can we go to sleep willingly? No, when we have a rare free time, we must take out our mobile phones to read messages, chat, watch a movie, listen to music, or read a book. Once you understand the child\’s psychology of not wanting to sleep, the problem can be easily solved. Accepting your child\’s struggle To help your child fall asleep peacefully, the first step is to empathize with your child and understand that your child is \”struggled\” with sleep. Not only do you need to accept your child\’s struggle, but you also need to accept that this struggle happens every day. This understanding is important. Because of understanding and acceptance, you can remain calm and anxious, laugh at every \”trick\” of your baby, patiently accompany him, and help him get through every day\’s resistance. Increase outdoor activities. The most important reason why children are reluctant to sleep is that they have not played enough and their energy has not been fully released. Then we must try to consume as much of his energy during the day. For example, go for a walk in the park, play football, fly a kite, play in the river, catch fish, climb mountains, and pick up leaves, so that he can fully get in touch with nature and satisfy his curiosity and exploration. When he is tired of playing and has gained some satisfaction from exploring the world, falling asleep will not be so difficult. Special Intimate Time For working parents, the reason why your child doesn\’t want to go to sleep may also be because he doesn\’t have enough intimate time with you. Especially for parents who often work overtime, their children haven\’t seen you all day. They finally wait for you to get off work and want to get close to you. You are absent-minded and want your children to go to sleep right away. How can he be happy? It is recommended that parents put down their mobile phones when they return home, play with their children attentively, and give their children a special intimate time so that their desire for love can be fully satisfied, and then they will be willing to follow your arrangements and go to bed obediently. Establish a fixed bedtime routine. Children naturally need order. Therefore, establishing a unique \”bedtime routine\” and actually implementing it is particularly useful for children to go to bed on time. For example, our family\’s agreement is to read three books every night before going to bed. After reading the book, give the child a hug.Give him a kiss, say \”No Dream\” in his ear (Rooney doesn\’t like to dream), then turn off the lights and go to sleep. Of course, at the beginning of implementation, there will definitely be situations where the child will try his best to delay. For example, Rooney often said: \”Mom, read me another book\” and \”Mom, I\’m afraid, don\’t turn off the light.\” Don’t get angry when faced with such “excuses” from your children! Tell him gently but firmly: \”It\’s time, read again tomorrow, good night!\” Help your child overcome the fear of the dark. Most children are afraid of the dark, because it is difficult for him to see clearly in the dark. When a child is young, he always thinks that invisible things disappear. Thinking that his mother is missing and his favorite toy is also missing, how frightened he must be! Therefore, when the child is young, the room where he sleeps should be a little brighter, dim the light of the desk lamp, or open the curtains half way, let the moonlight pass through the window, and gently hum nursery rhymes in his ear, which can make the child Fall asleep more easily. At the same time, we need to lead our children to face the darkness, but we do not simply tell them \”there is nothing to be afraid of\” or \”you have to be brave\”. This approach erases children\’s fears and only makes them feel smaller and more incompetent. We can chat with the child, play pretend games, read relevant picture books, get into the child\’s heart, and let the child feel that his emotions are accepted by his parents and are normal. In this way, his fear of the dark will be alleviated. .