If you give money to do housework, will your children become bad? Who are you trying to scare?

During the summer vacation, 12-year-old Xiao Xi saw a four-leaf clover bracelet and necklace in a magazine. She was immediately attracted and said it was beautiful. She asked me to buy it for her, but I didn\’t agree. Children can\’t wear jewelry. She pestered me for several days, saying that she bought it and kept it for admiration without wearing it, she just wanted to own it. Everyone has their favorite things, and it is human nature to want to have beautiful things. It doesn\’t matter whether the four-leaf clover necklace and bracelet are of good quality, expensive or not, and whether they are worth the money. The child will not consider these issues, she just likes it. Thinking of this, I was a little shaken. At this time, Xiao Xi said that she was willing to pay for it herself. Since the children have said this, I have to agree. So Xiaoxi searched for that bracelet and necklace online and looked at the price. She didn\’t have enough pocket money to buy them. She began to plan how to make money. After some planning, she became discouraged and said that there were too few opportunities to make money: it was definitely not possible to go to work. There were few people reading newspapers now, and it was not easy to sell newspapers. She took the cartons and beverage bottles at home and sold them. Probably worth just a few cents. The child racked her brains and came up with many ideas, including promoting my official account on the subway and asking people to scan the QR code to follow it. For every fan who came, I would pay her one yuan. After rejecting various ways to make money, Xiaoxi set her sights on home. I know that there are many benefits for children to do housework. However, I am ashamed that Xiaoxi has not developed a good habit of doing housework. During school days, children get up at 6 o\’clock in the morning to prepare for school, and get home from school at 6 o\’clock in the evening. There is still a lot of homework after dinner, and there is no time to do housework all day long. On weekends, winter and summer vacations, she occasionally helped to cook a few side dishes, and sometimes washed the dishes, but she did not develop a habit. In order to make money this time, she said: \”From now on, I will be responsible for making lunch every day, and then washing the dishes for three meals. You pay me one yuan for cooking, and one yuan for washing the dishes. You can give me 4 yuan every day, right?\” \”She even said coquettishly: Mom, you must always help me create some opportunities to make money.\” I thought it would be a good thing if my children could learn to wash dishes and get used to washing dishes through this method, so I agreed. From then on, Xiao Xi started her journey of saving money. In the first few days, she often forgot to ask me for money after washing the dishes, and then she gradually developed the habit. Every time she got a coin, she was very happy. She put them in her wallet and exchanged them for a banknote with me every time she saved 10 yuan. In this way, the banknotes in her wallet became larger and larger. Finally one day she saved enough money and gave it to me, asking me to use Alipay to pay for the bracelet for her. After receiving the bracelet and necklace, she put them on and went for a walk with me, swaying them around happily, then took them off and put them in the box when she came back. Two days later, she spotted a watch on Tmall and continued washing dishes to save money. The watch only costs about 20 yuan, and it won’t take long to save enough. Then she planned to save money to buy another set of bracelets for her best friend, and even planned to buy a bestie outfit. When I gave her regular pocket money in the past, I never saw her wanting to buy this or that. Perhaps, what the child enjoys more is the process of making money and the satisfaction after making money. What she wants to buy is a goal that allows her to continue working hard to make money. Xiaoxi naturally couldn\’t make lunch after school started, butHe still rushed to wash the dishes after dinner every day and promised me that he would speed up his homework. One day my father worked overtime so that we didn\’t have to wait for him to eat, and we had just finished eating when he got home. Before Xiaoxi went to do her homework, she told her father: \”Ask me to wash the dishes after dinner, or leave them in the kitchen until I finish my homework and come out to wash them. Don\’t take away my opportunity to make money.\” Nuoxi\’s father and I couldn\’t help but smile. . Last week, Xiaoxi said that some girls in her class had made an appointment to go shopping at a nearby pedestrian street on the weekend, and asked me if she could go. I always encourage my children to participate in group activities, and I immediately agreed. Unexpectedly, she thought for a while and then said: \”I\’d better not go.\” I was surprised and asked why, and she said: \”When we go shopping in the pedestrian street, we must buy something to eat. It will cost a lot of money to eat anything. A cup of Milk tea costs more than ten yuan. I have to save for a long time to get enough. It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it!\” I was dumbfounded. Is the child too frugal? I said you can go if you want to. You still have to spend the money, and my mother will sponsor you. Even so, Xiao Xi was still hesitant. Later, perhaps because other girls\’ parents considered safety issues, their pedestrian street plan was canceled. Xiaoxi said to me the day before yesterday: \”Think about the 14-yuan rollerball pen I bought before, but you can\’t change the refill! I actually bought so many pens! It\’s such a luxury. I must have been in trouble at that time. !\” By making money by washing dishes, Xiaoxi\’s dishwashing proficiency has greatly improved, and she has almost developed a good habit of washing dishes every day (didn\’t it mean that it takes 21 days to form a habit?). Earning money by washing dishes also allows children to experience the difficulty of making and saving money. From then on, they no longer spend lavishly and learn to be frugal, which is really a good harvest. I still remember that when Xiao Xi was in first grade, every time she scored 95 or above in a test or in silent writing, or she performed particularly well in something, I would draw a small red flower for her in her notebook. Every 5 red flowers could be replaced. a book. When my sister, who is currently in kindergarten, attends interest classes outside, in order to stimulate the children\’s interest and encourage them to participate, they usually give out some tokens, which can be exchanged for a small gift. In fact, in the eyes of children, there is no essential difference between money, tokens, and red flowers. When you are older, you have learned mathematics, understood prices, understood the uses of money, can calculate your own pocket money, and judge what it can buy and what it cannot buy. At this time, money will be different from red flowers. . A few days ago, when Xiao Xi was counting how much money she had, her sister was quite envious, so she said she also wanted money and asked her sister how she could make money. Her sister said, \”You are still young and don\’t know how to do housework. Can you make money?\” Got the money.\” My sister came to me and asked me to arrange housework for her. The result of my discussion with her was that she could sweep the floor and water the flowers. She immediately went to put away the toys, swept the floor a few times, and then asked me to feed a small coin to the pig (her piggy bank). I thought that if I could remind my child every day and persist, maybe my sister would develop the habit of sweeping the floor and watering the flowers. The discussion on the Internet about whether children should be paid for doing housework has never stopped. Most experts and parents are opposed to this, believing that children are members of the family and it is their obligation to do housework. Paying your children to do chores will make themThinking that he does housework just to make money, and if he doesn\’t want to make money, he doesn\’t have to do housework. I understand the above. I have also read many articles about the benefits of children doing housework. For example, doing housework can improve children\’s self-care ability, allow children to appreciate their parents\’ hard work, learn to be grateful, and cultivate children\’s sense of responsibility. I also understand these principles. However, our Xiao Xi and Xiao Nuo have never developed the habit of doing housework. If I tell them to do something, such as asking my sister to hang clothes on the terrace or asking my sister to water the flowers, they will do it. But they usually don\’t take the initiative to do these things. So, can you use money as a reward to encourage children to do some housework? I think it\’s totally ok. \”Can I be paid for doing housework?\” This question is somewhat similar to: \”Should the child go to cram school?\” If your child has developed good study habits and has good basic skills and good grades, there is no need to go to extracurricular cram schools. You can advocate reducing burdens and giving children a happy childhood. But in life, there are many students with unsatisfactory grades and poor study habits. What should we do if we don’t go to tutoring? The strategy of answering a lot of questions is better than not answering any questions at all. Just like those parents who educate well and persevere, their children have developed good habits of doing housework. Of course, it is not good to pay their children to do housework. However, there are also many children who have reached the upper grades of primary school or junior high school and still do not know, do not love, and are not used to doing housework. At this time, if you spend some money to \”tempt\” your children to learn to do housework, why not? Paying children to do housework is just an educational method. There is no right or wrong in the method itself, it just depends on whether it is used properly. Therefore, I am not encouraging everyone to pay their children to do housework, but I am just saying that if you have no other options, you might as well give it a try. PS: Remember to praise your children\’s labor results more often, express gratitude for their help, and let your children experience the sense of accomplishment and psychological pleasure brought by doing housework, not just earning a few dollars.