Behind the growing mother, there must be a child who can play independently

Mothers often tell me that they feel that their self-growth has stagnated after giving birth to a baby. They are stuck with their baby every minute after get off work, and they don’t have a single minute of their own time. The reason why spending time with children is tiring, for many people, is that continuous high-intensity companionship is tiring. If you can stop and rest for 10-15 minutes before continuing with your baby for 1-2 hours, your parents will feel more relaxed and the quality of their companionship will be greatly improved. These 10-15 minutes are actually the time when the child is alone. Looking back on myself, I have been a full-time mother for more than two years. Su Bao has gone from not letting his mother out of sight for every minute, to now being able to read books and play with toys independently for more than half an hour. The useless detours and useful routines are all in today\’s article. Share it with everyone. It is a misunderstanding that babies cannot play independently. I remember when my eldest daughter Su Bao was just born, the center of my entire universe was placed on her. She snorted, and I immediately went to hug her to see if there was anything I needed to do. I went back and forth several times a day, and I soon became tired. After communicating with the mothers around me, I found that this situation is quite common. Later, when I took Su Bao to the pediatrician for a physical examination, I saw Su Bao in a daze and couldn\’t help but tease her with a toy. After seeing this, her pediatrician said that it is actually not necessary. As long as the baby is not irritable and given some me-time alone every day, it is actually good for development. Later, I realized that not every snoring by a baby will turn into crying. Over-involvement by adults may give them too much stimulation. After having my second baby, I learned the lesson from the first time and began to consciously protect my second baby’s alone time. I found that sometimes she hummed because she was sleepy; sometimes she stared at her little hands or studied how to put her fingers in her mouth. , I will not interfere with her under these circumstances. After learning to \”do something and not do something\”, the second baby now has no problem falling asleep on his own, and he doesn\’t cry when he puts it down during the day. It is much easier than raising the first baby at that time. Companionship can lead to independence, and haste makes waste. If we secretly wish that our children would hurry up and play by themselves, children can feel it, which will make them anxious. The ability to play independently is best practiced with companionship. Sufficient companionship can lead to independence. It may take some time at first, but the benefits will gradually become apparent. Su Bao has always been a very clingy, high-needs baby. Since she was about 1 year old, if I find her focused for a moment while playing with her, I will not disturb her or walk away (do not sneak away at this time, otherwise all the efforts will be wasted), and I will sit quietly with her. around. When an adult is with you, your baby will not be prone to separation anxiety and will not resent being alone. This is the first step in solitude training. The second step is to sit a little further away from Su Bao after she is able to concentrate for a few minutes, but still in the same room, and turn a few pages of her own book. At this time, I am still accompanying her, but in reality, I am with her. After doing various things, if she asks me to help her from time to time when building blocks, I will put down the book and help her. The third step is to wait until Su Bao can play independently for more than 10 minutes. I will get up before she is about to enter the state and tell her that I have to leave the room for a while. If she needs her mother, she will be next door. At this timeHou Subao basically nodded and continued to high himself. Sharpening the knife will not waste time cutting firewood, try exchanging 10 minutes for 1 hour. Sometimes, children may have the ability to play independently, but there is no environment for independent play. This requires adults to consciously prepare independent space and auxiliary tools for them. To be honest, not many mothers would say that I want my children to pester me all the time. Who doesn’t want their children to play independently and give themselves some time privately? Moms who know me well know that no matter how tired I am, I will take 10-15 minutes every day to prepare for Su Bao\’s activities for the next day, either handmade materials or designing two or three small games. Or clean out the toys in her room and replace them with a new batch. This 10 minutes of preparation may turn into an hour of independent play for the baby the next day. For example, a few days ago, I spent 10 minutes cutting out some \”ingredients\” from pieces of cloth, preparing cardboard and glue for Su Bao, and letting her make pizza by herself: Then I would use the 1 hour I \”earned\” to , take 10 minutes to prepare game materials for the next day, and harvest another hour the next day…a virtuous cycle. As a mother, if you have time to improve yourself every day, you will be happier and have more energy to provide high-quality companionship to your children. Because being a full-time mother is tiring, I guided Su Bao to play independently at the beginning, which was indeed selfish. However, during the time when I was \”not with me\”, she grew up rapidly and became more focused, independent, and rich. . This kind of \”high quality without companionship\” is actually critical to children\’s cognitive development and character development.