Don’t believe it, you may be spending time with your children in the wrong way

Accompanying children is not a simple matter and requires continuous exploration and careful summary by each of us parents. Your attitude and approach to your children can easily be projected back to them. With the right companionship, every child can be an angel. Ever since I had a child, watching the mothers chatting in the group has become a compulsory course every day. Because our children are all about the same age, we have a common language when we talk. Whose child grows taller and stronger, whose child walks early and talks early, whose child is naughty and mischievous, whose child is an angel…there are endless topics to talk about every day. Now the children are over two years old, and some have already entered kindergarten. Speaking of which, most people who send their children to kindergarten early do so because there is no one to take care of them, so they can only be cruel. But there are still a few mothers who take care of their children full time, but still make the same choice. Sissi is one of those mothers. Her children are far ahead in height and weight among their peers. Every time she posts photos of her children, other mothers are amazed. But Sissi also has troubles. Most of the children in the group can speak complete sentences and express themselves clearly, but her child rarely speaks and only speaks one or two words. Sissi was very anxious, but didn\’t know what to do, so she could only send her child to kindergarten. She thought that if there were more people in the kindergarten, the children might become talkative after hearing other children talking. Later I learned that there was actually a reason why Sissi’s children didn’t talk much. Sissi\’s husband is very busy at work, so she and her children are basically together every day. Sissi is a taciturn person and rarely communicates with children. Every time the child makes a look or a move, Sissi knows what she wants, and then she is satisfied immediately, without the child needing to speak at all. As time passed, Sissi\’s children became as taciturn as her. In fact, children understand everything, but they just refuse to express it in words. When she encountered other children outside snatching her toys, she didn\’t say anything. She just kept crying, waiting for Sissi to help her get the toys back. After Sissi\’s child went to kindergarten, she was indeed more eloquent than before. Because the teacher will not take the initiative to meet her requests, and other children cannot understand her eyes and movements, she must express her thoughts in words. Sissi regretted it very much. She actually wanted to spend more time with her child. But because she didn\’t pay attention to the method, she didn\’t even have complete companionship for the first three years. Xiaojin is the mother closest to me in the group. Her most common complaint in the group is that her child is very active and easily distracted, and cannot even play alone quietly for five minutes. Every time she saw someone in the group saying that her child could build blocks and play in the sand alone or read picture books for a long time, Xiaojin was so envious that she called their child an angel. A few days ago, the International Photography Festival in Xiaojin’s county opened. I took my children to see it and made an appointment with her. The Xiaojin family is a boy, with a tiger-like head and a very cute head. The two children were very happy to meet each other, and they were playing and making noise all the way. The opening ceremony was good, but the children didn’t like it, so Xiaojin and I took them to the amusement park. As soon as my daughter entered, she started playing in various ways, including slides, swings, and trampolines.I\’m needed. Only when you are thirsty and need a drink of water, you will think of me as a mother. The playground facilities were very safe, and I was able to relax and watch the lively and happy scenes of the children playing. I won\’t disturb my daughter even if she doesn\’t ask for it. I just need to check if she has any conflicts with other children from time to time. Xiaojin was different, she stared at the child without relaxing for a moment. Just as he was about to climb up the slide barefoot, Xiaojin shouted nervously, saying he couldn\’t do this because it was dangerous. The child turned around to play with the ocean ball, and Xiaojin started to tell him not to throw the ball at others… The child was playing enthusiastically in the sand, and Xiaojin asked him if he was thirsty. Without waiting for his answer, he handed over the cup, insisting that he Drink a sip. After a while, Xiaojin asked the child again if he wanted to pee. (Her son had just started to wear diapers, and she was always worried that he would forget to mention it while playing.) Later, the child rode on the rocking horse, and Xiaojin asked him to look up with his mobile phone. She wanted to take a picture of him… I asked Xiaojin to rest for a while. , the child can play by herself, she really doesn’t have to be so tired. I also understood why Xiaojin\’s child couldn\’t concentrate. This was entirely caused by her. She always disturbed the child when he was concentrating on playing. Over time, the child\’s attention span is destroyed, he is easily distracted, and he is not used to being alone. I told Xiaojin that the child was so old that she didn’t need to worry about many things at all. There are mats on the playground floor, so even if the child falls, it won\’t hurt. If he is hungry or thirsty, he will naturally tell you, so there is really no need to ask. As for taking pictures, just do it quietly on the side… Xiaojin thinks what I said makes sense, and said she will change it slowly. But I know that this is a difficult process, and I hope Xiaojin can succeed. Qingqing is another depressed mother in the group. Because the old people on both sides were far away, Qingqing resigned from her job after giving birth. During the confinement period, the confinement sister-in-law helped, and after that, Qingqing took care of the child alone. She is busy every day, buying groceries and cooking, doing laundry and mopping the floor, and taking her children out to play… Not only that, in order to make money to support her family, Qingqing has been doing micro-business, posting dozens of advertisements in her circle of friends every day. Qingqing\’s child is very healthy and cheerful, and is loved by everyone. But what makes Qingqing depressed is that even though she has been with her child all day long and paid so much for her, the person the child clings to the most is not her, but her husband. You know, Qingqing\’s husband just comes home from get off work and plays with his children for an hour every day, and then gets busy in the study. Qingqing couldn\’t figure out why this happened and thought the child was a white-eyed wolf. It wasn\’t until another mother in the group asked her whether the advertisement in Moments was posted when she was playing with her children that Qingqing suddenly realized it. Although Qingqing spends a lot of time with her children every day, the quality is not high. She is always looking at her phone, and her children often call her several times without responding. She also has no patience and always thinks that the food has not been cooked and the clothes have not been washed, so she is used to constantly urging her children and yelling at them at every turn. Qingqing\’s husband was different. During the hour he spent with his children, he was completely distracted. Whatever the child wants to play, he does his best to satisfy it. He listened patiently to the child and chatted with the child calmly, with a tone so gentle that it could make water drop… Qingqing reflected on herself and said she would pay attention to it in the future. Accompanying children is not aA simple thing. Although a child is small, he is an independent individual with his own consciousness and thoughts. Every child is a mirror, and your attitude and method of treating them can be easily projected back to them. If you want your children to be articulate, talk to them more and guide them to express what they see, hear, and think in words. If you want your children to be focused, you should control them so as not to disturb them and let them enjoy themselves in their own world. High-quality companionship with children can be easily felt, so please be careful when you are around your children… There is no parent who does not want their children to be well and to accompany their children to grow up. But you must know that companionship is really more than just staying by your child\’s side. This is a subject that requires continuous study and continuous exploration to find the one that is best for your child. Believe that as long as you use the right companionship, every child can be an angel.