The reason behind children’s procrastination in going to school turns out to be this

Two years ago, I went to Shanghai to participate in the National Picture Book Curriculum Practical Workshop organized by Picture Book School. When talking about exploring parent-child education resources from picture books, teacher Yang Yi told a story that made me deeply feel that picture books can connect parents and children. important role in relationships. A mother anxiously asked teacher Yang Yi for advice: \”My child goes to school every day. When I send him to the kindergarten gate, I must immediately hand him over to the teacher, turn around quickly, and run away.\” Rush to the company to go to work. Teacher, how can I change my child\’s habit of dilly-dallying?\” Teacher Yang Yi didn\’t say anything. She chose a very heartwarming picture book – \”Forgot to Say I Love You\” and suggested to this mother Take it home and read it with your children. What is this book about? Let’s take a look at the introduction first: Billy the Bear was always procrastinating when he went to school. One moment he would feed the doll bunny, the next moment he would dress the bunny, and the next moment he would put the lunch box in. It fell to the ground… Mom was always worried about being late and kept urging Billy to hurry up. After sending Billy to school, his mother left in a hurry, taking away the little bear\’s comforting thing – the little rabbit. Just when Billy was sad, his mother came back. She hugged Billy and said, \”Baby, I\’m sorry, I forgot to give you the bunny, and…I forgot to say I love you.\” The next day, this A mother came to tell Teacher Yang Yi very excitedly: \”It turns out that I have this book at home. I bought it when my child was about to enter school. In order to relieve his separation anxiety, I didn\’t feel anything after reading it at the time. But yesterday I gave it to When the child read this book, he burst into tears.\” Why is there such a big difference between reading the same book before and after? What did this mother read in this book? The mother said: \”When I read in the past, I only read the text, and while reading, I also taught my children: Don\’t be lazy like the little bear, otherwise you will be late. But this time I read the text and read at the same time. I was deeply touched by the picture, especially when I saw the lonely expression of Little Bear in the kindergarten after his mother left. I thought of my own child. It turned out that he was so sad after I left. Thinking of this , I couldn’t help crying.” What can good pictures bring to us? After listening to this story told by Teacher Yang Yi, I felt deeply: good picture books have the power to speak directly to people\’s hearts! It allows us to see things that we cannot usually see from the perspective of a bystander. First of all, by reading the text, the mother saw herself in the picture book. She saw that behind the child\’s dilly-dallying was her own impatience, nagging, and urging. She realized that the child\’s problems were actually her own problems, and that it was not the child who urgently needed to change. But myself. In the picture book, Billy\’s mother has been urging him from the beginning, talking to Billy in a shouting, commanding tone. On the way to kindergarten, my mother\’s anxiety escalated. In one of the scenes, it was raining, and her mother actually held an umbrella and walked alone, leaving Billy, who was only wearing what appeared to be a rainproof jacket, to get wet in the rain. This shows how anxious her mother was. The more anxious the mother is, the more stubborn the child becomes. But, is it the child who is really bothering or the mother who is too anxious? This is a question worth thinking about for every parent. Second, by reading pictures,The mother sees (understands) the child. The famous picture book master John Berlingham said: Words can only tell you a story, but pictures can truly outline the true feelings of the book. It was during the process of reading the picture that this mother saw things that she could not usually see, such as the cuteness and fantasy of the child while struggling, the sadness and loss of the child after being separated from the mother in kindergarten… Seeing is the beginning of communication. Perhaps reading picture books together this time cannot immediately change the child\’s dillydallying state, but there is no doubt that the relationship between the mother and the child has definitely changed. Because the mother understands the child, she will no longer think that the child\’s troubles are unforgivable, and will not run away at the entrance of the kindergarten. She will even give the child a hug and say I love you. As for the children, they can definitely feel their mother’s understanding and love in their mothers’ cries while reading. Maybe the child will still dawdle, but if the mother learns to understand, wait, and communicate, the child\’s problem will no longer be a problem. In this way, a good relationship between parent and child was established. Therefore, picture books are the best link between parent-child relationships and the key to a good parent-child education model. How to carry out effective parent-child reading? Why is there such a big difference in this mother’s feelings about reading picture books twice? In addition to the timing of reading, I think the method of reading is also one of the reasons. Paying attention to this mother\’s description of the two reading processes, we can see that she made two mistakes during the first reading process: First, she used picture books as a tool to educate her children. This is a mistake many parents make. Many friends around me often ask me for help: \”My child doesn\’t like to eat, my child doesn\’t like to communicate with others, my child is very rebellious, my child is very impatient… Do you have any picture book recommendations?\” It seems that the questions are all there. For children, it seems that picture books are omnipotent, and reading picture books can immediately solve children\’s problems. Picture books do contain a lot of profound meanings, allowing us to indirectly acquire a lot of knowledge and principles. However, the role of picture books is by no means used as textbooks (many children’s interest in reading is wiped out in this way), and it is even more unrealistic to try to use picture books to solve children’s problems. Picture books bring us more enjoyment and happiness, as well as emotional resonance and release. The process of parent-child reading cannot become the process of educating children. The principles contained in the picture books will penetrate deeply into the children\’s hearts through words, pictures and stories combined with pictures and texts, and seeds will be quietly buried in the children\’s hearts. When the time is right, the seeds will take root and sprout. This is a subtle process. The process of reading with your children is also a process of building a close relationship. As Mr. Matsui Nao said: \”Reading to children is like traveling to the kingdom of stories hand in hand with them, sharing the same happy time full of warm language.\” \”I never reason with children, I think I said everything I said when I was reading to them.\” Therefore, Teacher Yang Yi repeatedly emphasized: \”Stop it, don\’t try to teach your children to read picture books!\” Parents, once you pick up picture books to educate your children, The meaning and fun of parent-child reading are lost! In fact, picture books are the best for adultsParenting textbook. Second, when reading picture books, one only looks at the text and ignores the importance of the pictures. When this mother first started reading the book \”Forgot to Say I Love You\”, she only focused on reading the words and did not notice the emotions of the characters conveyed in the pictures. But when she read the book again, she finally noticed the pictures. , saw the child\’s loss after she left, so she cried bitterly. For a long time when I first started to get into picture books, I also went through a stage where I only read the words and ignored the pictures. Later, when my children asked me to read them repeatedly, I began to pay attention to the pictures in the picture books, and I discovered that the lines, colors, layouts, blank spaces, etc. in the pictures in the picture books all convey different emotions and artistic conceptions. For example, the Caldecott Silver Medal work \”Feifei is Angry\” is a classic that uses lines and colors to express emotions. When Feifei is angry, the lines on her body are all red, and even the woods are red. Later, as her anger gradually dissipated, the colors of the picture gradually evolved into maroon, blue, and orange. By the time Feifei sat on the trunk of the big oak tree facing the calm lake, the entire picture was already in cool tones of blue, white, and green. . Finally, when Feifei returns home quietly, the scene turns to warm yellow again. For details on the interpretation of the picture book, see \”Does Your Child Lose Tantrums?\” Read this amazing picture book.\” Mr. Matsui Nao said: The picture book actually contains three stories, one is the story narrated by words, the other is the story depicted by pictures, and the third story is reconstructed in the human mind after the combination of words and pictures. The process of parent-child reading is the process of creating the third story. When a child looks at the pictures in a picture book and listens to the adult reading the text, the pictures and the text will be integrated in the child\’s mind, creating a lifelike story world, and the child will see a real picture book. This is an experience that is difficult for adults to have when reading picture books by themselves. There is no child who doesn’t like to listen to stories, especially stories from their parents. When parents understand the educational connotation of picture books, they also understand themselves and their children, the connection between parents and children will become closer and closer, and it will become easier to educate their children. Therefore, picture books are the best textbooks for parenting.