Before complaining about your children, please reflect on yourself first

My daughter is over two years old, and when she talks non-stop, she wants to know the truth about everything, like a walking book of 100,000 whys. I have endless housework to do every day, and I also have to find time to write, so it is impossible to respond to every word of my daughter. One day I was working on a manuscript in front of the computer, and my daughter asked me to help her get cookies. At that time, I didn’t want my train of thought to be interrupted, so I ignored her. By the time I finished writing the manuscript, my daughter had yelled probably a dozen times, and she wasn’t angry at all. I brought the biscuits to her and she said sweetly, \”Thank you, mom.\” I was stunned for a moment and suddenly felt very guilty. As a mother, I did not meet my daughter’s needs immediately. But she was patient enough to wait for me and didn\’t blame me for it. I couldn\’t help but think about what happened the day before. I had just finished cleaning up the house, and my daughter opened the storage box with great interest, dumped the toys on the floor, and then picked out the ones she was interested in and started playing with them with gusto. Seeing the mess all over the floor, I was naturally very angry and asked my daughter to put away the toys. My daughter was immersed in playing, but she turned a deaf ear to what I said several times, so my voice became louder each time. Later, I got angry, rushed over, grabbed the toy from my daughter\’s hand, and threw it to the ground. My daughter burst into tears, but when she saw my stern face, she stopped crying and said while sobbing: \”Kiss mom, don\’t be angry anymore.\” Then she put her face towards me. In the past, I always felt that my daughter didn\’t take my words seriously, but I myself never responded to her requests. I would complain if she dissatisfied me even a little bit, but she never got angry because I was perfunctory with her. In the eyes of her daughter, her mother is always good. My friend Xiaomi once told me that her son has procrastination and has to put off things until tomorrow that can be done today. The alarm clock rang in the morning, and Xiaomi\’s son couldn\’t get out of bed until the last moment in a hurry to rush to school. During the holidays, she skipped homework and played around. She became anxious when school was about to start and had to stay up late at night… Not only that, Xiaomi said her son was also very careless. There were many questions that I knew I could do, but I lost points because I wasn\’t careful enough. The stationery I just bought has only been used for two days, but I can\’t find it anywhere… Xiaomi\’s words made me laugh. Her son is a perfect replica of her. Xiaomi had not originally planned to give birth so early, but because she was pregnant and delayed going to the hospital, she missed the best opportunity to have an abortion and had no choice but to give birth to the baby. Every time friends get together, Xiaomi is always the last one to arrive, no matter how far in advance she is notified… her carelessness is well known in the circle of friends. When she was single, she didn\’t know how many times she came to my house to eat because she forgot her keys. When she rides in my car, she leaves things behind eight times out of ten times… I told Xiaomi that instead of complaining about her child, it is better to help him correct his shortcomings. Most importantly, she must lead by example. If you can\’t do things well yourself, why should you ask your children to do them well? Parents are their children\’s most important teachers, and every word and deed affects their children in a subtle way. I have a colleague named Xixi. She has a nine-year-old daughter. Xixi would say that her daughter had no future in the office every few days, which made her particularly worried. Xixi reported a lot of happiness to her daughterIt was an interesting class, but she didn\’t learn any special skills. Every time she takes an exam, her daughter ranks among the top twenty in the class. Xixi said that other people’s children can play the piano, write very beautifully with calligraphy, and get first place in exams every time. She hopes that her daughter can be as good as her and can win glory for her. Xixi has never been stingy in spending money for her daughter, and is willing to invest in anything, but the result is not what she expected. My daughter has always been mediocre from kindergarten to elementary school. For a while, I discovered for the first time that Xixi did not complain about her daughter, but focused all her energy on work. I couldn\’t help but gossip and asked Xixi what was going on. Xixi said that she accidentally saw her daughter\’s composition and was so ashamed. Xixi\’s daughter wrote in her essay that although my mother did not make a lot of money, she was not as beautiful as a star. But in my heart, mother is the most beautiful and the greatest. I love my mother. Xixi said she had figured it out and didn\’t want to put too much pressure on her daughter. Her daughter didn\’t ask her for an annual salary of one million, so why should she ask her to be the first in everything? When she was as old as her daughter, she was inferior to her daughter in every aspect. Xixi also said that after becoming less impetuous, she discovered many advantages of her daughter, such as kindness, sincerity, and enthusiasm. She also gradually understood that not everyone can stand out, and being an ordinary person is also a kind of success. She is content if her daughter grows up healthily and happily. Of course, she also has to set a good example for her daughter, so she has to work hard and realize her own value. Probably every pair of parents has the mentality of hoping that their children will be successful and expect their children to be good enough. So we make all kinds of demands on our children and can\’t help complaining because they don\’t turn out the way we expect them to. But we forget that no one is perfect. Even we ourselves have shortcomings of one kind or another. If we really want our children to be excellent, we should start from ourselves and set an example for our children to learn from. After all, children see everything their parents do. Some parents keep their mobile phones in their hands all day long, even reluctant to put them down to eat, but they require their children to stop playing with mobile phones and concentrate on studying. Some parents swear a lot and cross the street, but they insist that their children must be polite and follow the rules. Some parents don\’t want to make progress and just muddle along, but they hope that their children will work hard and get first place every time… They don\’t lead by example, but they expect their children to be excellent in everything. This is simply impossible. Therefore, before we complain about our children’s imperfections, we might as well reflect on whether we have done our best.