Oh my God! My kid is super sensitive! what to do?

Shanshan\’s daughter is 7 years old this year. She does not tolerate others making fun of her on weekdays, and does not allow others to criticize her when she does something wrong. When I was in kindergarten, I didn\’t dare to go to the teacher when I peed my pants. When I was in elementary school, I saw heavy reports on TV news, which even affected my appetite. In Shanshan\’s words, children are really too sensitive. It is true that bumps and bumps are inevitable in a child\’s growth, but if she has always been sensitive and has strong emotional fluctuations due to trivial things, then how can teachers and parents teach her the correct knowledge? How can we make progress in our studies? Shanshan and her husband were very confused. They seemed to have no way of educating a sensitive child. In fact, not only children, but also some of us adults are often confused by sensitivity. At work, I didn’t finish a plan and was scolded by my boss, so I was in a bad mood all day and couldn’t get out of the emotional whirlpool; between husband and wife, because the other party didn’t see the new hairstyle and clothes they had changed, they would start to worry. The other party doesn\’t pay enough attention to himself, so he starts to worry about gains and losses. Both adults and children are sensitive, and often suffer from sensitivity. So, is sensitivity really harmful to a growing child? Sensitivity is just a personality trait. What is called \”sensitivity\” in psychology is actually a dimension of human normal personality traits. We often say that a person is \”very sensitive\”, which means that this person is relatively sensitive, a little more sensitive than others. Generally speaking, people with higher sensitivity will have a higher degree of sensitivity to details. If we observe the world with our eyes, then sensitive children use filters. Under the action of filters, the things they see have higher saturation, more vivid colors, and more Details, therefore, in their eyes, beautiful things will become more beautiful and ugly things will become uglier. Compared with children who are not highly sensitive, sensitive children are always better able to view and process positive and negative information from the outside, but they are often affected by external stimuli because of this ability, and thus become At a loss. Sensitivity has its negatives and positives. Many people think that sensitive people tend to be introverted and fragile; they are afraid of getting hurt and have a fragile glass heart. This trait will make it difficult for them to succeed in today\’s society. However, will this really happen? My college classmate Yuanyuan moved to the United States with her family of three the year before last. When she first arrived in the United States, her daughter encountered quite a lot of difficulties in English school. At that time, the child was still very timid and did not dare to go to the toilet alone. Her class teacher would arrange for a girl from the same class to accompany her to the toilet every time. bathroom. Yuanyuan felt very sorry for her child\’s behavior. She felt that her child\’s sensitivity had affected the teacher\’s work, so she went to the school to apologize to the class teacher. Unexpectedly, the class teacher\’s answer was this: \”Your child is just a little sensitive. I was the same when I was a child.\” , it will be fine after she is familiar with the environment. Sensitivity is not a burden, but an ability. Your child cares about the feelings of others and is compassionate. Moreover, she has good observation skills and artistic talent. These things are all related to It’s related to the child’s sensitivity.” In comparison, noOverly sensitive children, sensitive children 1. Strong perception of details The most prominent feature of highly sensitive children is that they are different from ordinary people in the details of life they can perceive. They are often able to detect details that ordinary people tend to overlook. You get a new bag, your hair is slightly trimmed, even if you just polish your leather shoes, they will notice these subtle changes in time. It is precisely because of this that many of them are troubled by perfectionism. For example, those children who go back and check their homework many times after finishing their homework, who repeatedly use an eraser to erase and correct their words in order to write the words to a standard, and who cannot finish their homework for a long time, are victims of perfectionism. 2. Love to think deeply. High sensitivity also means that children tend to love to think more and try to understand the possible meaning and consequences of things. Therefore, when highly sensitive children grow up, they often consider multiple possible options and consequences when they think about things. They will also use words that are more mature than their own age to demonstrate more complex thinking abilities. But precisely because of this, they often appear timid and hesitant. 3. Children with high awareness of emotions are also very \”sensitive\” to emotions. When they face pain, sadness, or things they cannot accept, they tend to have more obvious emotional reactions. This feature makes many mothers feel helpless. After all, when children like this were young, they often cried because of a small hole in their socks, or because of their mother\’s occasional negligence, which was really a headache. However, being highly sensitive also means having a strong ability to “empathize”. Highly sensitive children tend to grow up to be more empathetic. You see, sensitivity is just a trait. It shows shortcomings in some aspects, but shows advantages in some aspects. Sensitivity is like a coin, it has heads and tails. While we focus on its negative side, please don’t ignore that it also has its positive side. How to Raise Sensitive Children Steve Jobs was born with sensitive traits. There are thousands of yellows in industrial products, and he can spend a month choosing the one he is most satisfied with among these thousands of yellows. He can let designers change hundreds of versions of a mobile phone button, just to select the most suitable and beautiful button. O\’Sullivan was often bullied by his schoolmates because of his obesity as a child. As a young man, he gradually found confidence in billiards and gradually found his place in the British snooker world at that time. Early in his career, his performance plummeted due to drug abuse. He had a disagreement with his wife and was divorced. But today, his sensitive snooker career has reached its peak. There are many, many successful people who are as sensitive as them. Therefore, if there are sensitive children in the family, it is best not to worry too much. Sensitive children can also grow into big trees and find their own sky. Final tips: Accept your child\’s sensitivity and don\’t try to change it. Sensitivity is a personality trait. It, like insensitivity, introversion and extroversion, are just descriptions of personality traits. They are not good or bad. As parents, the most important thing we need is not to see the harm that sensitivity may cause to our children, nor to think about how to make our children no longer sensitive.Try to change the traditional concept, accept children\’s sensitivity, and help children learn to deal with a sensitive world. If your child has a slower temper, please don\’t push a sensitive child too much. His thoughts tend to be more complicated. He will think a lot about an issue before making a decision, so he appears to be slower. Therefore, if the child does not show that he needs help, we should not push him too much and let the child grow at his own pace. If a child is afraid of a new environment, you can leave a way out for him in advance. Many sensitive children have very complex brain circuits. Therefore, it will be very difficult for them to try something new. So before you encourage them to try bravely, you must tell them in advance that your parents are your solid backing. Regardless of success or failure, our love for you remains unchanged. For example, you can tell him, \”I\’ll sit here waiting for you. If you don\’t want to play anymore, come find me.\” You can also find some familiar information to dispel your child\’s anxiety about a strange environment, such as telling him that he may meet his old friends in the new environment later. This method allows children to add these \”favorable\” conditions to their brain circuits in advance, instead of falling into very negative thinking. The more they think about it, the more afraid they become, and in the end they directly reject new attempts. When a child is in a tangle, remind him to get out of it. Sensitivity will not hurt the child, but if the child is too focused on a certain detail and cannot get out, then this focused point will give the child a bad experience that cannot be easily resolved. A teenage girl once told me that she hated her sensitivity. She always unconsciously guessed other people\’s thoughts and was afraid of leaving a bad impression on others. This made her parents think she was not good enough. not good enough. But does she really hate being sensitive? No, she is always in a state of worry because she is not sure whether the relationship between herself and others is truly safe. This makes her feel an anxiety that she cannot bear, so she is very sad. At this time, communication is particularly important for children. Because our active attention to this matter can help the child find the point where she is really struggling and give her enough support to get out of the predicament. Every child has his own characteristics, and every characteristic is precious and worth protecting. Therefore, as parents, you might as well be more patient when dealing with sensitive children. The most important thing for a person is to accept that he likes himself. For a person who doesn\’t like himself, no matter how much wealth he has, it will be difficult for him to feel happy. Children who are like a kaleidoscope should not be reshaped into one image.