Baby, you are the best! \”How many parents make the mistake of saying this?

Last weekend, my cousin took Dabao to see the newly released \”Paddington 2\”. No one can deny the healing and warmth it brings, and the way it quietly shakes your soul. \”I really want to pick up a Paddington Bear and take it home!\” It told us a truth: \”As long as you treat others with kindness, others will treat you with kindness in return.\” But a voice suddenly sounded in my ears : \”Mom, I performed very well today, but why didn\’t the teacher give me a little red flower?\” \”Mom, my brother and I both fell down. Why did grandma help my brother and not me?\” In fact, this is The reason cannot be explained. What was my answer then? \”My child, maybe you didn\’t do well enough.\” \”Maybe grandma didn\’t notice you, and it won\’t happen like this next time.\” As a result, the child asked me a series of questions… Obviously, such an answer was not enough. Make him satisfied. As time passed, he no longer listened to my explanations. Later, I thought about this issue from the child\’s perspective. The reason why the child asked such questions was because he felt \”unfair\” treatment and felt uncomfortable. And he just wanted to seek comfort and affirmation by asking me. But what? I denied the child. Speaking of this, many mothers must feel deeply. Don’t we always view children with adults’ thinking? And how long has it been since you praised your child? Here, I will tell you a story first. It was because of reading this story that I suddenly became enlightened on how to treat children. God does not reward good children. There is a child psychologist in the United States who specializes in hosting children\’s radio stations. One day, a six-year-old girl named Alice called. Mom and Dad require us to go to bed at 9 o\’clock every night. Every time I am obedient and go to bed on time. But the younger brother was disobedient and would not go to bed unless he had an apple every time, but he succeeded every time. I also want an apple, but my parents never give it to me. Why does my brother always get apples when he is a bad boy, but I don\’t get apples when I am a good boy? This question completely stumped the child psychologist, and he didn\’t know how to answer her. Three years later, that day, he went to attend a wedding. At the wedding, the nervous groom put the ring that should have been on his right hand on the bride\’s left hand. The priest came to his rescue and said: \”My child, her left hand is already perfect. You can wear it on her right hand.\” The psychologist suddenly realized. He quickly returned to the radio station and began calling Alice\’s name. He said: Alice, do you still remember the question from 3 years ago? I hope you won\’t be too upset about the bad boy getting the apple. Although the bad boy got the apple, you actually got the best gift from God, which is that you are a good boy. This is the famous \”God does not reward good children\”. Therefore, when the child asks me a similar question again, I will say: \”You are already great, so you don\’t need the teacher\’s praise.\” \”Because grandma knows that you are a brave child and can stand up on your own, so don\’t I need grandma\’s help.\” With the affirmation and encouragement from his parents, the child did better and better. Because he no longer doubts himself, he will not think that he has not been praised,The concern is that he is not good enough. On the contrary, he will affirm himself and praise himself. A child who has confidence in himself will definitely do better and better! How to cultivate children\’s self-confidence? 1. Tone of trust Children want to be recognized, especially the trust of their parents, so when you speak to your children, let them feel that you believe them. If your child wants to learn an instrument, you can say: \”Mom, I believe that as long as you study hard and study seriously, you will be able to play very well.\” This virtually gives the child a sense of self-confidence and makes him understand that only persistence can achieve success. Be successful. If you say something like this: \”Whatever you do is only three minutes, and you still want to learn a musical instrument?\” It will hurt the child\’s self-esteem and make him unconfident in his own abilities. 2. An encouraging tone. When many parents take their children to take the elevator, the children want to press the button. If you grab his hand at this time and say to him: \”Don\’t press it randomly, didn\’t I tell you?\” You will find that the child did not press it under the circumstances, but he will press it when he gets out of the elevator. , secretly press a few times while you are not paying attention. The mother was very satisfied, but she didn\’t know that the child was secretly resisting her. Therefore, it is better to let him press the button, but tell him: \”We can only press the floor that we want to go to, and we cannot press other buttons because it will hinder other people.\” You will find that the child really only presses the button obediently. This one floor, and quite happy. At this time, don’t forget to encourage your child. \”My performance was really good today. I found the number of floors accurately and didn\’t press any other buttons.\” 3. Consultative tone When you ask your child to do something, use a consultative tone to let him understand. He treats you as an equal, not disrespectful. For example, if you want your child to tidy up the toys littered on the floor, you can say: \”Baby, the toys are littered and you won\’t find them when you play with them again. Come, tidy up the toys with your mother. If you don\’t tidy up the toys next time, You can\’t play with it.\” Don\’t use a blaming tone: \”The cars are scattered everywhere. If you keep throwing them away like this, I will throw the trash can directly for you and stop playing with you.\” When the child hears your reproach, he will feel it in his heart. Disgusted, even if you do what you ask, you will be unhappy. Day after day, this kind of blame is like a cancer that makes children lose their self-confidence. 4. The tone of praise. Some mothers say: \”I often praise my child, but the child is not confident. What\’s going on?\” It depends on how you \”praise\”. For example, many parents, especially the elderly, often praise, \”My child is the best and smartest in the world!\” Such praise is wrong in itself. We cannot let a child feel that he is \”the best in the world\” from the age of one or two. one\”. When I go to school and find that many children are very good and have received praise from teachers, but I have not, I will feel depressed and become less confident. Therefore, how to \”praise\” is particularly important. When parents praise their child, they should remember to mention his specific behavior, such as completing something independently or helping other children. \”That thing you just did was great, keep up the hard work, come on!\” \”You gave the things to other children, the baby is awesome!\” In fact, the child\’s ability is far greaterIt is far beyond the imagination of adults, but most of us parents think that if our children are young, they will get into trouble. Therefore, parents should always have trust and confidence, and stand by their children even if they are criticized by others. When a child gains the approval of his parents, he will have courage in his heart to help him overcome various problems he encounters.