Father and son always quarrel, this mother’s method is simply amazing

Many readers said they like to read articles about my interaction with my son. From time to time, I will pick out a few snippets of my life and talk about my thoughts on parenting. In the study room, I caught a glimpse of my son doing homework, with one leg crooked outside the desk. I thought I should take this foot back. But I said, \”Well, that\’s great. Your back is so straight. No wonder the teacher asked you to demonstrate!\” Then I walked away. After a while, when I passed by the study, I saw that his feet were also straightened. I exclaimed: \”Wow, this should be the standard posture the teacher said!\” The first time he said it, he noticed that his mother noticed his posture, so he thought I had a better posture! When he said it the second time, he should have thought in his heart, I am already very good! Looking at my son\’s serious expression, I smiled secretly. The son shouted, \”Mom, you made a mistake on this question! How do you calculate 14 divided by 8 times 2? It can\’t be divided!\” My son is always so confident. Once he can\’t do it, he thinks that the question is wrong. I walked over, but before I got close, he realized that he was wrong. He said, \”Yeah, I\’ll do the division first.\” I pretended to be disappointed and said, \”Oh, I thought you asked me to watch your joke. Unfortunately, you discovered the mistake yourself, and I can\’t stand this joke.\” I spread my hands and turned around and left the room. But I believe that next time, he will not call me to see it so easily. These two small problems, one is to encourage children to behave correctly, and the other is to humorously deal with obvious wrong behaviors. Let the children do it spontaneously, and it is not achieved through force. This has always been the educational concept of \”four or two make a thousand pounds\” that I pursue. I also often tell my children that anything that is too tiring to do is usually done in the wrong way. The \”four ounces\” of educating children is to continuously strengthen their self-confidence. Because I believe that a confident child will have higher demands on himself. Speaking of confidence, there is another funny thing. One day, my son wore a fall school uniform in the morning and was convinced that the teacher asked for it. In fact, the teacher asked him to wear another winter uniform, so he probably didn\’t hear clearly. I discovered the mistake after taking him to school in the morning. Thinking that this would delay my son\’s performance in the afternoon, and that this mistake might cause difficulties for the teacher, I finally made a special trip to deliver the clothes. I wonder, though, if he learned his lesson. When I went home in the evening, I asked him, \”How did you feel when you found out in the morning that you were wearing something different from others?\” He actually said, \”It\’s nothing. I hope the teacher will come into the classroom and say that they are all wearing the wrong clothes.\” I said , \”You are so confident! You obviously wore it wrong this time.\” My son said mockingly, \”Well, this is called almighty narcissism.\” Well, rather than hitting him, I would rather he be overconfident sometimes. . The son\’s English is tutored by his father. Every time the two would conflict, it would end with the son crying as he finished his homework. I tried to intervene. Later I thought, no matter what method, as our child, he will always have to accept it before finding a better way. This is the price we pay for growing together. When I think about it, I feel relieved. However, I would carefully confirm with him, \”Do you dislike Dad? Or don\’t you like English? Or don\’t like the way Dad teaches English?\” After careful identification, my son would tell me, \”You don\’t like it?\”The way dad taught English. \”Occasionally, I will also tutor him in English. In the process, I will tell him what I have discovered. What Dad is angry about is not you or your learning process, but your learning attitude. If you don\’t remember, we can do more Memorize several times; if not, we can learn it several times; if it is difficult to memorize, we will find a way to memorize it. But half-heartedness and the attitude of shrinking when encountering difficulties are the reasons why Dad lost his temper. He thought about it and also Approved. In this way, I continue to let them understand the causes of conflicts and the needs behind the emotions more accurately. Now, the two of them are getting along much better. Although this process is a bit difficult, it is still worth it. Children are actually more sensitive than us. Every day Everything that happens around them will have an impact on them. In particular, parents\’ emotions, mentality, language, teachers\’ attention, classmates\’ performance, etc. will all become the objects of reference for children. But when it comes to dealing with these mixed feelings, children They are not yet mature, so they need proper guidance at this time. Let children learn to sort out the differences between people and things from conflicts, understand the needs behind emotions, and through continuous running-in, finally adjust their mentality to a comfortable state. Of course, this requires First, allow children to express themselves naturally in front of their parents. It is very important to express yourself. Be a parent worthy of your children\’s trust. After all, the role of parents is to support, not to control and order. By reminding children to see the neglected details and When encountering difficulties, there are more choices, and then let him make his own decision. This is also a sign of respect and trust. Parents believe that their children have the ability to make appropriate choices. This right to choose is also a source of self-confidence. . There is a metaphor that says: raising children is like making steamed buns. Whether the steamed buns will grow big or not depends mainly on whether the fermentation is good. The core of fermentation is to activate the yeast, adjust the temperature, observe and wait patiently for a period of time. Parents accompany them The functions are exactly these two: one is to provide the child with an environment and a suitable temperature; the other is to find a way to activate the yeast, and leave the rest to time. The activation methods include: trusting the child, positive language to stimulate the child\’s self-confidence, Resolve conflicts with clear thinking and sometimes allow children to be overconfident. Of course, being an optimistic and fully supportive parent is a huge challenge in itself. This is also a topic for us to grow as parents.