It is the duty of a son to be filial to his parents, and it is the duty of a daughter-in-law to be filial to his parents-in-law.

There is a message like this: My father-in-law passed away three years ago, and my mother-in-law has been living alone. Now that she is seriously ill, my husband asked me to quit my job and go home to take care of her. My husband is a public employee and cannot ask for leave at will. I was in a private company and couldn\’t take long leave, but because my income was much lower than my husband\’s, he asked me to resign and go home to take care of my mother-in-law. The reason was, \”My family doesn\’t need me this little money anyway.\” But I was totally unwilling. It’s not about the amount of money, it’s just that I don’t want to take care of my mother-in-law at all. When our children were young, life was difficult, and my mother-in-law didn\’t do anything to help us. Now that she is old, why should I take care of her? I am reminded of an article that was widely forwarded many years ago, \”Ten Years to See a Mother-in-Law, Ten Years to See a Daughter-in-law.\” The general idea is that the first ten years of marriage are the most difficult years for a daughter-in-law. She is a new daughter-in-law, has young children, is financially strapped, and lacks experience. At this time, my mother-in-law is in good health, has plenty of time, and is financially stable. The last ten years of my mother-in-law\’s life were the most difficult years in her life. She was old and frail, with declining vitality, loneliness, and financial constraints. At this time, the daughter-in-law is in the prime of life, her children have grown up, and her income has increased. During the ten years when the daughter-in-law\’s life is difficult, if the mother-in-law can treat her daughter-in-law well, she can help her daughter-in-law effectively, and those who are rich can contribute money. From the daughter-in-law\’s perspective, she should be more tolerant and care less. In the ten years when the mother-in-law\’s life is declining, if the daughter-in-law can be kind to her mother-in-law, understand the difficulty of her life, and understand the powerlessness and loneliness of the elderly, she can take more care of her and show less shame. So, even if mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not as close as mother and daughter (they are not mother and daughter, why force it?), they can still live in harmony with warmth and gratitude. It\’s a beautiful way to get along. But the reality is that when a daughter-in-law is in trouble in her life, some mothers-in-law not only turn a blind eye, but also make sarcastic comments and add insult to injury. In the end, when he got old and could no longer move, he asked his daughter-in-law to take care of him. Otherwise, you will be regarded as \”unfilial\” by your seven aunts, eight aunts, and even your neighbors. This hat is too big for people with small heads to wear. It’s okay if outsiders don’t understand it. The key is that some husbands will also selectively forget and forget how their mothers treated their daughters-in-law. Now, it seems a bit unreasonable to ask their daughters-in-law to be filial. Let’s talk about the troubles of this daughter-in-law. She didn\’t want to take care of her sick mother-in-law because \”the children were young and life was difficult, and my mother-in-law didn\’t do anything to help us.\” This sentence can be understood as, you were ruthless to me back then, why should I be interested in you now? Some readers may say, does your mother-in-law have no obligation to help you take care of your children? That\’s absolutely true. You are already married, and no matter how difficult life is, you have nothing to do with your mother-in-law. Helping you is a matter of affection, not helping you is a duty. So the question is, when the mother-in-law is seriously ill and needs care, can the daughter-in-law take care of her or not? Can it also be understood that taking care of her is a matter of affection, and not taking care of her is a duty? Since it is a matter of affection, it cannot be asked or forced, it is something done willingly. Since the daughter-in-law is unwilling, it is her husband\’s business to take care of her mother-in-law, because that is his mother. It is a son\’s duty to take care of his mother. As for how to take care of her, he had to find a way on his own, at least he couldn\’t force his wife. There is a saying that it is difficult for an upright official to deal with household affairs. It shows that it is difficult to measure household chores by \”right or wrong\”, and it is not easy to say \”123\” clearly.thing. The reason is that housework is sometimes not a \”matter\” problem, but a \”people\” problem. If the family relationship is harmonious and considerate of each other, nothing will be a problem. Otherwise, trivial matters are a big deal and can cause chaos and spread the smoke. Chinese-style families not only emphasize affection, but also try to distinguish right from wrong. It is both moral and trying to make sense. As far as this message is concerned, in terms of affection, a daughter-in-law can take care of her mother-in-law. Even if her mother-in-law wasn\’t good enough to her back then, she was still her husband\’s mother. From the perspective of a husband and wife, it is reasonable to be filial. But from a right or wrong perspective, there is nothing wrong with her not taking care of her. Because her mother-in-law has neither nurturing nor helpful feelings towards her. Morally speaking, when a daughter-in-law marries into her husband\’s family, she and her mother-in-law become one family. Taking care of mother-in-law has also been a traditional Chinese morality for many years. But logically speaking, a daughter-in-law is raised by her parents, not her parents-in-law. Even if she marries into her husband\’s family, she is still her parents\’ daughter and has little relationship with her mother-in-law. You see, how can a family speak clearly? There is really no standard answer to how to deal with family conflicts. The key depends on your structure and bottom line. Of course, the most important thing is what kind of family and what kind of people you meet. If your husband\’s family treats you well and you know how to repay the kindness, it will be the most satisfactory. If giving makes you feel wronged or embarrassed, return the problem to your husband. After all, it is a son\’s duty to be filial to his parents, and it is a daughter-in-law\’s duty to be filial to his parents-in-law. Just like, it is a daughter\’s duty to honor her parents, and it is a son-in-law\’s duty to honor her parents-in-law. Be grateful to each other instead of making demands on each other.