How many parents love and hurt their children at the same time?

Yesterday my nephew came to my house and angrily said, aunt, I will live in your house from now on and never go back. After careful questioning, I learned that my nephew was scolded by his sister and brother-in-law together, and that he was not nearly beaten by a mixed double because he ran too fast. My nephew is 5 years old this year. He is handsome and cute. He is the baby of the family. His sister and brother-in-law doted on him. They bought him the best clothes, went to the best local kindergarten, and even chose toys of higher quality. They would take time to take their nephew out to play during holidays, and his family traveled. Souvenirs are packed in a big box. Like most parents, my sister dotes on her nephew very much and gives her children the best within her ability, adhering to the philosophy of being wealthy and nurturing. But she did not learn the essence of enrichment. She only provided material enrichment and ignored the spirit of the child. This is also a common problem among many parents of our generation, because true wealth is not material, but spiritual. The nephew is undoubtedly rich materially, but he may be poor spiritually. My sister and brother-in-law have bad tempers and have no patience with their children. They will get angry at the smallest things and often scold them. They rarely care about their nephew\’s feelings and thoughts, and they never understand their children like friends. Not to mention being able to sense children\’s emotions in a timely manner. When faced with children\’s bad behavior, they always choose to blame and get angry instead of listening and understanding. This time, my nephew had to leave home because his parents scolded him for not performing well in the kindergarten\’s New Year\’s performance. It turned out that at the annual meeting of the kindergarten, the classmates in my nephew\’s class performed a step dance together, and my nephew stood in the front row according to the rehearsal. But during the formal performance, maybe it was the first time I was on stage. My nephew not only did not dance to the music, but also started crying. The other children danced hard throughout the dance, but my nephew remained motionless and sobbed. This made my sister and brother-in-law who were standing in the audience very angry. After the dance ended, the angry parents rudely pulled the nephew out of the performance venue before his nephew could change clothes, and did not participate in the lottery or dinner activities. After leaving the event, the two of them took turns scolding each other. The scolded nephew did not dare to cry and timidly ran after them. After returning home, my sister did not ask why my nephew was crying on the stage. Instead, she scolded her, \”Why are you so useless? Other children can dance so well, why can\’t you? You are always like this when things happen.\” She just cried and scolded her for half an hour. Looking at my nephew\’s tear-stained face, I feel heartbroken, pitiful for him to have such violent parents. My sister and the others are really attentive to their nephew, but sometimes they can\’t help but hurt him. Because we are adults and parents, we think we know better, so we scold our children without any scruples, claiming it is for their own good. But have we ever asked children who are much weaker than us how they feel? Many parents are like this in life, doting on their children while hurting them at the same time. I was deeply moved by watching Song Dandan and her son Batu’s reality show before. In one section, Song Dandan saw the well-behaved Dahua getting up to make breakfast early in the morning while others were sleeping. After everyone found out, they all praised him. In contrast, Song Dandan was dissatisfied with his son\’s performance and began to criticize Batu, saying, I gave birth to a waste, look at others. returnHe shouted that he wanted to \”change his son\”. When eating breakfast, Batu found that there was only porridge, and wanted to boil eggs for his mother and Huang Lei who were poisoned and vomited after eating old beans the night before. But Batu, the earthen stove in the countryside, couldn\’t burn it and left smoke and dust everywhere. Sister Dandan complained: \”If you can cook these two eggs, I will reluctantly keep you.\” After a while, Xing Xingzi almost slapped her mother in the face, and she glanced at Batu with disgust, \”Don\’t worry, I won\’t eat these eggs.\” His concern for his mother was replaced by ridicule. The task after breakfast was to let Batu build a chicken coop. Song Dandan, who has been complaining about his son\’s inability to do anything since he was a child, said again: \”Batu, if you can build a henhouse, your child will not be raised in vain.\” He obviously wanted to encourage him, but he said it out loud. The words were unbearable. Just as Batu was about to leave, Sister Dandan talked about the embarrassing things that happened to Batu when he was a child: There was never a parent-teacher meeting that made me happy when Batu was a child. There was a parent-teacher meeting in kindergarten. All the children formed a circle and swam with small fishes. Only Batu stood in the middle and cried. Sister Dandan also cooperated with the physical performance, and Huang Lei and Dahua both laughed awkwardly. Batu\’s face looked obviously ugly. He probably wanted to find a place to hide at that time. This night, Batu was hurt a lot by his mother. You might say that she doesn\’t love her son, but that\’s not true. At one point, Sister Dandan suddenly discovered that Batu\’s toenails were inflamed, and she looked very concerned. In fact, these careless words of parents are very hurtful to their children. Even after many years, it still hurts when they think about it. But there are many parents who do this, pampering and hurting at the same time, without knowing it. The so-called deep love and deep responsibility are what parents do to their children, and vice versa, because the other person is the person closest to them; so the hurt from the person closest to them is the most unbearable and unforgettable. Indelible. We often hurt, scold, or even harm children for various reasons, never considering that children will hurt children. In fact, what children need is never high-end toys and beautiful clothes but unconditional love from their parents. The most important thing in this kind of love is the parents\’ patience, tolerance, trust and acceptance. Nowadays, many children live the life of \”little emperors\” and \”little princesses\” who can reach out for clothes and open their mouths for food. Children are satisfied with everything they want. Sometimes, parents even begin to satisfy the children unconditionally before they even open their mouths. Chinese mothers’ love for their children is something that parents in other countries cannot agree with. There are often foreign mothers who cannot understand the way Chinese parents educate their children. They believe that many parents in China dote on their children, but on the other hand they like to harm their own children. Once I saw a scene in a shopping mall: a girl about three years old stood in the middle of the shopping mall and cried loudly. Her mother shouted angrily at the child: \”If you cry again, if you cry again, I won\’t want you anymore. I will throw you away.\” Here.\” The child stopped crying instantly, but he still couldn\’t help sobbing. I felt a little worried when I looked at that little girl. I guess she didn\’t dare to cry because she was afraid that her mother really didn\’t want her. Children are most afraid of being abandoned by their parents. For a child, her parents are everything to her. Words like \”I don\’t want you, I\’ll throw you away\” will remain in her young mind.Cast a big shadow. Once I saw a father and son in a high-end toy store. The father was selecting toys with a 3 or 4-year-old boy. The boy looked at the dazzling array of toys and hesitated, picking up this one and putting down that one. In the end, the little boy reluctantly took a remote-controlled car and followed his father to the counter. As he walked, he said to his father: \”I will buy all the toys you earn from now on.\” The father, who had been smiling all the time, suddenly yelled at the child: \”You prodigal son\” after hearing what the child said. The frightened child looked horrified and didn\’t know what he meant. Parents are the closest people to a girl, so their denial and hurt are always precise and fatal. Although some hurt is done in the name of love, it is still hurt. Before I became a parent, I thought that parents’ love for their children was the most selfless and greatest. I thought, when I have children, I will be able to love them well. But after becoming a parent, I discovered that the love of children is actually the purest and heartwarming thing. No matter whether we are beautiful or ugly, poor or rich, our children love us unconditionally. Children are the only people in this world who will love you no matter how hard you treat them. But as a parent\’s love, sometimes it hurts. In the past, when material was relatively scarce, we generally lived a relatively miserable life. After we had our own children, we wanted them to suffer less, so we tried our best to create the best conditions for our children. In the past, our parents generally had a low level of education and believed in education with sticks. Our generation had been beaten and scolded to some extent. When we grew up, we all vowed never to spank our children again, but they didn’t know the difference between their parents’ inappropriate language and their children. A spanking is more damaging. We have been hurt by our parents, but when we become parents, we become the hurting party again. We reprimand our children because they behave unsatisfactorily, fight with classmates, and do not come home on time… We exert our parental authority unscrupulously, but often ignore the children\’s inner feelings. In fact, he worked really hard. Maybe he was forced to defend himself when he fought with his classmates. Maybe he didn\’t go home on time because he wanted to play with the dog more… The world of children is far cleaner and simpler than we think. Mitch Albom said in \”Five People You Meet in Heaven\”: All parents hurt their children, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. A child is like a clean glass, whoever takes it will leave fingerprints on it. Some parents stain the cup, some crack the cup, and a few parents destroy their children\’s childhood into irrecoverable pieces. I read a short story. Once upon a time, there was a child who wanted love, pure and unconditional love. He mistakenly believed that his parents could give him these beautiful things. But his parents not only failed to do it, but also deeply hurt him. He began to regard their parents\’ beating and scolding him as love, and his heart became twisted. When the boy grows up, he longs to look for love outside, but to no avail. He began, like his parents, to long for those who loved him to abuse him. He became an out-and-out masochist. It can be said that parents have contributed a lot, but sometimes they are helpless, and sometimes they waver between love and hurt, causing mental harm to their children. Even if they heal, the scars will remain forever. In front of children, some words are like butcher\’s knives, and parents do harm in the name of love. So, whatWhat kind of words are hurtful? In fact, it means using insulting and discriminatory language such as abuse, slander, contempt, ridicule, etc. For example: Why are you so stupid? I committed a sin in my last life and gave birth to a child like you. If you continue to disobey me, I will not want you. If you were half as good as so-and-so, I would be grateful; if so-and-so were my child, Okay; what\’s the use of raising your child? Others can do it, why can\’t you? I will definitely give birth to a child better than you in my next life… Please stop hurting your child while doting on it, they are too young and helpless. . Language is the spiritual support one person gives to another; language can give people warmth or despair. Violent language is an invisible way of killing without leaving any trace, but it is enough to destroy a person. So don\’t be a stupid parent and let your doting children despair because of your words.