A 4-year-old boy is \”addicted\” to smoking. If he continues to raise his child like this, it will be ruined

Recently, a video of a 4-year-old boy smoking and chewing betel nuts in Xinhua, Hunan Province hit the internet on social media. The boy blew smoke rings and flicked the ashes. His movements were so skillful and his expression was so leisurely that people were shocked to see him. It is understood that the boy\’s parents work outside the home and he lives with his grandparents. Because grandpa likes to play mahjong and grandma is busy with housework, I don’t know when he got into these bad habits and it has been a year or two. Children under the age of 3 have particularly strong imitation abilities. They can imitate whatever the adults around them teach and do. An adult\’s \”neglect of duty\” may ruin a child\’s life. Due to the pressure of life, many parents entrust their children to the care of the elderly, relatives and friends. This is normal and understandable. But yes, don’t forget to carefully “check” whether the person you entrust is capable and responsible enough to take good care of your children. The guardian that a child really needs is not just an older one, one who can take care of daily life, and one who can not beat, scold or abuse, but one who can truly take care of his life safety and physical growth. , responsible people for mental health development. Poor sense of responsibility can push children to the brink of life and death. Last year, a two-year-old girl quietly climbed onto a tricycle in a shopping mall in Henan. Unfortunately, the key to the tricycle was not removed, and the girl drove the tricycle into the pond and drowned on the spot. Her grandmother was playing mahjong when the incident occurred. More than 2,000 children die in accidents every day around the world. A large number of misfortunes are caused by guardians\’ lack of awareness of protection. Wang Dawei, a Chinese child safety expert, summarized ten laws of child safety based on a large number of real cases. Among them, the third one is the \”Law of Neglect\”: a small negligence on the part of a parent, such as watching chess, dancing, or staring at a mobile phone, may lead to the child being abducted or having an accident. I once \”picked up\” a little boy who had just learned to walk three times in the square near the community. He was either knocked down and lying on the ground, or he was walking towards the road, or he almost rolled down the steps. As for his parents, they had been in a daze and taking a nap in the leeward place without looking at their children at all. \”Even if I were to die, I wouldn\’t leave my child in the care of such a person!\” I thought to myself. Danger is like a silent beast lurking around children, staring at the children of parents who are \”out of sight and out of mind.\” If you relax your sense of responsibility, you will regret it for the rest of your life, let alone \”never cared that much\”. Before people with good character were better suited to take care of children, an elderly couple in Mianyang, Sichuan, who parked illegally, had a conflict with a traffic policeman who issued a ticket. The elderly man was so excited that he shouted, pushed and blocked the traffic policeman. He suddenly snatched the baby from the old lady\’s arms and threw it at the traffic policeman three times. Each time, the traffic police caught the baby and carefully returned it. Finally, the elderly man pushed down the traffic policeman who was squatting on the ground to comfort the baby, causing the baby to roll to the ground and preventing people around him from picking up the baby. It was freezing cold, and the 6-month-old baby was frightened and lay on the ground crying. She is obviously his granddaughter, but her grandfather uses her as a \”weapon\” to attack others, putting her in danger of being injured. Sometimes the closest relatives are the ones who are willing to put themselves to death without caring about them. I am reminded of another case: a 4-year-old girl was slapped by her grandfather until she had a nosebleed because she did not want to leave the supermarket.It dripped all over the floor. Watching the girl crying in fear and helplessness in the video makes me feel sad. Psychologist Winnicott once said that a child\’s emotional development in the first few years of life forms the basis for lifelong mental health. The daily caregiver that infants and young children need most should have stable, consistent, continuous, and reliable attention and love for them. Only in this way will the children feel satisfied and comfortable, and will they develop a sense of security and trust in the people and things around them. Feel it and use it for life. If you are being hugged tightly one second, you are being thrown out fiercely the next second; if you are looking nice just now, and suddenly you are slapped viciously in the face, this contrast is fatal to the establishment of a child\’s sense of security. . The child doesn\’t know which emotions and emotions to believe are true, he doesn\’t know whether to trust the person in front of him, and he doesn\’t know what he should do is right. We should appreciate the hard work of our relatives to help take care of our children, but some people have violent personalities, extreme behavior, and have difficulty managing their own conduct and emotions. Compared with mothers who have been constantly learning various parenting knowledge and improving their own literacy, they are really not. The right person to look after your child. Educationalists have long warned parents: \”An environment without knowledge and politeness will sooner or later turn into sorrow and tears for children.\” Don\’t let your children \”depend on others\” easily. In 2010, Huanhuan\’s parents went to work in Guangzhou, and it will only be a few years. When she was just 6 months old, she was entrusted to her sister and brother-in-law to raise her. When Huanhuan was 6 years old, her parents, who had not seen her for several years, decided to bring her to their side. However, she became seriously ill: she could not speak, could not communicate with others, could not eat, always complained of pain in her body, and found it difficult to stand. She told Mom, it’s very itchy down there. When her mother checked her, she discovered that the child\’s lower body was red and swollen and had small bugs. The hospital\’s diagnosis shocked the couple: the child had suffered long-term sexual abuse, had multiple lacerations in the reproductive organs, and was seriously infected. Only then did Huanhuan tell her parents: It was her uncle who did it. What’s even more shocking is that her aunt knew the truth very early, and instead of stopping her, she threatened Huanhuan that she would be beaten to death if she told her. Although the person involved in the case was detained, Ke Huanhuan was unable to eat, get out of bed, and had a stress reaction. Many girls who have been sexually assaulted recalled when they grew up: when they put their hands into their clothes, they did not dare to open their eyes even though they were awake; they did not dare to call for help or resist, feeling sad, scared, and shocked. , panic, helplessness, will be remembered for a lifetime. How painful does it feel to think that your child is suffering inhuman criticism, but as a parent you are not by his side? Every time you entrust your child to someone else for various reasons, it is like a gamble. The outcome is unpredictable, or the safety is unpredictable. Maybe you are willing to bet on the geometry of human nature, but never use the safety and happiness of your children as a bargaining chip. Psychologists believe that every child must establish two kinds of happiness in his life: primary happiness and secondary happiness. Children who have established a primary sense of happiness will be sure that their parents will always love them unconditionally. This will be their motivation for life. They will be happier and more confident to challenge setbacks and become independent. Image source: \”Miracle Boy\” Once the primary happiness is not established well, it will be difficult to establish the secondary happiness brought by external people, things, and achievements. Those onesChildren always wonder: Can I get what I want? Do other people really like me? Am I really good? They spend their entire lives searching for something they can rely on and affirm themselves through the affirmation of others, and are easily defeated by setbacks. Parents\’ participation in the child\’s growth, unconditional acceptance and sure love before the child is 3 years old are the only basis for the child to establish primary happiness. Children who are fostered by their parents and are not treated warmly can easily lose this vital sense of happiness. In the movie \”Miracle Boy\”, the child with a naturally distorted face relied on his parents\’ unconditional love, acceptance and companionship to finally overcome his inferiority complex, overcome difficulties, go into society, and win joy and happiness. Image source: \”Miracle Boy\” Family is the first and most important source of children\’s courage and self-confidence. You have to take care of your own children by yourself despite all the difficulties. Ruining a child’s childhood, so what if I earn 100,000 a month? Don\’t leave girls in the sole care of other men. How far can the devil\’s hand stretch? Even the 16-month-old baby girl was not spared! There was a baby girl whose parents worked in a vegetable market, and an acquaintance in his 50s often held and played with her. That day, the baby girl was taken away for 40 minutes. When she came back, she had candy in her hand but her eyes were dull. When the mother helped her change her diaper, she found that it was soaked with blood… After a doctor\’s examination, the baby girl\’s lower body was severely lacerated, and emergency debridement and sutures were performed… It is said that the child is too young and has no memory, but this is not the case. Such. Psychologists have proven through experiments that even very young children have memories. Those particularly strong painful memories will be hidden in the brain in the form of smells, sounds, touches, emotions, etc., and will \”sneak attack\” and \”torture\” them from time to time in adulthood. Everything a child experiences in his childhood will remain in his body and spirit like flesh and blood, affecting his life. There may only be a handful of bad guys, but meeting one of them is enough to plunge a child into a bottomless abyss. Image source: \”Girl Genius\” Really, if you are not a close relative, you should never leave a girl alone to other men, even for a short time. Because we can never figure out whether there is a devil hiding in the other person\’s heart. People often say that there are no quiet years, but there are people who carry the burden for you. Yes, we are extremely grateful to those who help take care of our children and work hard for us. If they truly love our children, are responsible, capable, and have good character, then we can trust them with confidence. However, if you have doubts in your mind, or if you can only choose one of the two, choose the option that will make you least regretful. Sometimes, I feel sad when I see some news events: a little boy sells vegetables with his parents at the vegetable market and is so cold that he gets frostbite; a single mother takes her 3-year-old daughter to work the night shift in a rental car, and the couple spends more than 900 nights in the car. . But then I thought about it, these children are actually not pitiful at all, because they can stay peacefully beside their parents, asking questions and answering questions, and being angry and warm. Suhomlinsky said in \”Parent Education\”: Whose childhood is illuminated by the sunshine of love, then he will create happiness for each other, and will be grateful to his parents\’ words, kind intentions, persuasion and gifts, gentleness and kindness. Warning has a special sensitivity and receptivity. Companionship and spiritual nourishment are what parents deserve the mostLife lessons for children. No matter how hard it is, you must keep your children with you. This is the most appropriate happiness that parents can give their children.