The lazier you are, the more capable your children will be

I have always felt that children are very capable. But why are the child\’s hands tied? Why do children in primary school sit in front of the table while eating, waiting for the food to be served, instead of going to the kitchen to serve the food themselves? \”Little ancestor, don\’t go into the kitchen, it\’s dangerous!\” \”Quickly, put it down, be careful of burning it.\” The child picked up the garbage bag at home and wanted to help. \”Don\’t mention it, it\’s dirty.\” \”Don\’t do it, you know where to throw it!\” \”Carry it to grandma, don\’t do it a disservice.\” When the child gets interested, he wants to try picking vegetables and washing dishes. \”Don\’t do it, you can\’t do it well.\” \”Go and do your homework. Just read the book well.\” In this way, the child\’s hands were tied. But the overly capable adults were busy jumping up and down to serve the little master. As a result, more and more \”imbecile\” children are raised. In addition to restraining children\’s hands and feet, adults are also willing to control children\’s thoughts. Often in the name of love. A few days ago, I took my son to play in the small playground below the community. I like this place very much because I can see a lot of children there. Watch them try to greet their new friends. Watch them challenge some moves that they dare not do. You can also observe the worried elderly people or parents following behind. The most common words I hear are: \”Don\’t touch, it\’s dirty!\” \”Don\’t climb, it\’s dangerous!\” Lots and lots of \”No, don\’t…\” There are also many words: \”Come, come here to play.\” Set limits for children to play. place without allowing them to cross the border. In fact, what is the difference between children playing on the left slide and playing on the right slide? But some adults insist on asking their children to follow their own ideas. Once, a little girl followed Xiao Xiaoyu. When he jumped, she jumped too. When he climbed the slide, she climbed too. In fact, this is a very normal imitation. Young children are always willing to learn from older children. But the little girl\’s grandmother saw it and pulled the child back and asked her to ride the rocking horse. The child resisted and cried. But the old man insisted on his idea and held the child. Sometimes, it is not the child who is actually in danger that causes the adult to become nervous or to control the child. But just to satisfy my desire for control or to do what I feel. The child\’s psychological feelings and needs are completely ignored. When the child gets used to this kind of control. Slowly you will begin to enjoy the comfort and ease that this kind of control brings. When your child expresses his or her own ideas, please remember to encourage and support him. You can patiently observe from the sidelines and help the child instead of controlling the child. Psychological research has found that when a child\’s requirements for independent activities are met or supported in some way, the child will show elation, joy, self-esteem, pride and other initial self-affirming emotions and attitudes. Otherwise, negative emotions and attitudes will appear. Therefore, we must cherish children\’s independent intentions and provide encouragement and support to enable them to continue to develop. When parents want to give their children all the good things and all the love in the world, they forget to tell their children one thing: the hardships of life are unimaginable. I still remember when I was in middle school, I often went to a classmate’s house to play. At that time, his father\’s famous saying was \”Don\’t listen to what\’s going on outside the window, and only read the books of sages.\” So he askedMy son should study hard and do nothing else. He never even washed his own clothes and socks. And his clothes and stationery are the best in our class, and he looks like a kid from a wealthy family. In fact, these were all squeezed out by his parents\’ frugality. Finally he entered college with excellent grades. When he was in college, his father worked at a nearby construction site, and his mother rented a house near the school to stay with her son. Because the son\’s life cannot be separated from his mother\’s care. After college, he was repeatedly frustrated in finding a job. The reason is that they can\’t bear any hardships and are picky about the tasks assigned by their leaders. One job after another. As a result, I was still living with my parents when I was in my thirties. There is nothing wrong with children requiring hard work and time to study. But labor cannot be wasted. Because in labor, his mind and hands will become more flexible. And it can cultivate children\’s spirit of enduring hardship. Zeng Guofan said: \”In addition to studying, teaching your nephew to sweep the house, wipe tables and stools, collect manure, and hoe weeds is a very good thing. You must not do it because it will damage your dignity.\” Please let your children endure some hardships and gain own experience. I remember that when I was in high school, I would go to my relatives’ construction sites every summer to do small jobs. Sometimes it\’s to move materials for them, sometimes it\’s to remove construction debris. Because of the high labor intensity, blisters will appear on the palms every time. I still remember that I stepped on a piece of wood with nails several times and the sole of my foot was punctured. Although I could only work for about half a month at a time, I understood at that time that if I didn\’t study hard, I would have no choice but to work hard with my relatives, not earning much, but sweating blood. I often tell my son: \”You will definitely not suffer like dad again. But dad hopes that you can work more and don\’t be afraid of hardship, because the hardships dad endured have become the most precious wealth.\” So. Every time we do general cleaning, my son always actively accepts the tasks, so we can relax a little bit. And I found that if we are \”lazy\”, our children will become more capable. In fact, children are much more capable than you think. But you always don\’t believe in children. Many parents say that their children are not confident or responsible. So have you given your children the opportunity to develop this character? I remember one time when I was picking up tickets at the airport, a mother in front of me took her daughter, who was about six or seven years old, to pick up the tickets. Then the child reached out and took the ticket. \”Give the ticket to Dad for safekeeping.\” Mom said. \”I\’ll take it! Mom.\” the child said. \”No, what will you do if you lose it later!\” \”No, Mom, I will keep it safe when I grow up.\” \”No, you can\’t joke about this. If you lose it, you will be in trouble.\” Then he put the ticket away. Grabbed it. \”Can I get my own one?\” the daughter almost begged her mother for permission. \”No, what should I do if I lose it?\” In the end, the child reluctantly followed his mother to his father\’s place. When I got the ticket, I gave my son\’s ticket to him and pointed out his name and seat number to him. \”Do you want dad to keep it for you?\” \”I\’ll keep it by myself first and give it to you when I get there later.\” My son pointed to the security gate and told me. \”Then you must hold it tightly! You can\’t get on the plane without it.\” XiaoThe guy nodded vigorously. Hold the ticket tightly with your little hands. I feel that what he actually grasps is the trust given to him by his parents, as well as the responsibility that he should bear. Please give your children enough trust that they can do it. Let children develop the good habit of loving labor and not being afraid of hardship as early as possible.