Child, had I known I would have wished you were not so \”lucky\”

I remember that there was a child in the class I taught. Because his mother was my friend, he often asked me to take care of him. However, I found that the child himself was complacent because of his mother\’s superior status, thinking that he was superior to others. Once, because his group did not perform well when sweeping the floor, he was punished to continue sweeping the floor after class. However, while others were sweeping the floor, he was doing homework in the classroom. Although doing homework is a good thing for consolidating knowledge, what if you don’t follow the arrangements and don’t have a sense of collective responsibility? So I asked him why, and he said that his mother asked him to write and not sweep the floor. After hearing this, I thought it was incredible. Apparently, the little guy had developed a sense of superiority in his heart. He felt that my mother was here anyway, and my mother’s superior status could make me special. I remember that in an article by writer Liu Jirong, she wrote a story about her daughter. Due to special circumstances, my daughter’s teachers were all acquaintances from kindergarten to second grade. Therefore, my daughter has received many benefits that other children cannot enjoy. \”Mom, the teacher gave us oranges to eat today. The other children only ate two pieces, but I ate five pieces. They were all drooling with greed!\” \”Mom, today we were guessing riddles in class. Many children raised their hands, and the teacher called me Four times, I said everything correctly and got four little red flowers. Some people were not called even once, and they cried with anger!\” But later she found that putting her children in the class of an acquaintance would not be worth the gain. Because when the teacher changes, the children cannot accept their new teacher. It even felt like the whole world no longer loved her. \”Mom, the teacher didn\’t praise me for a whole week. He only praised others. Does he hate me?\” \”Mom, I\’m in too much pain. I don\’t want to go to school. Otherwise, please transfer me to another school where you know someone you know.\” At this time, she discovered that the \”luck\” she gave her children and the sense of superiority she gave her children actually harmed them. She wrote: Over the years, I have carefully held you in the palm of my hand, artificially creating a small greenhouse, and cruelly depriving you of the experience of wind and rain. How could you grow up, and how could you be willing to grow up? When a child interacts with other children with a strong sense of superiority, it will often turn others off and become an unpopular person. I have a 7-year-old nephew who has lived in a relatively superior environment since he was a child. He is the eldest grandson in the family, and his parents do not plan to have a second child. Therefore, the family cherishes this son very much and tries their best to meet his requirements. . Once, I took my little nephew out for a day. When I came back, there were a lot of things in the car, so I handed him the remote control plane I bought: \”Take your baby, take it yourself.\” Unexpectedly, he said : \”What kind of treasure is it? It\’s just a plane. I am the treasure of the whole family.\” Not only that, when he was playing with children, he would often say: \”We have this at home too.\” \”I asked dad to buy it for me.\” \”I\’ve been there, but you haven\’t been there.\” There was a sense of superiority in his words. It is true that nowadays more and more families have enough financial strength to raise children, and children are also complacent because of the superior economic conditions of their families. However, the way of love must be correct, and the child must not feel the love due to this kind of love.Oneself is the core, creating an unparalleled sense of superiority. You still have to remind the old man to pay attention to his manners when gesticulating, and remember the rules when he gets carried away. You must know that you can love your child at home, but when the child enters society, no one will \”love\” him like you. Regarding the education of my little nephew, my brother and sister-in-law have always advocated appreciation education and encouraged praise in public and criticism behind the scenes. Their intentions may be good and they want to increase their children\’s self-esteem, but the results are counterproductive. On the first day when my sister-in-law sent her nephew to school, she told the class teacher a lot about her nephew\’s advantages. She hoped that the class teacher could pay more attention to her nephew and give him more opportunities to show off. Once, the class teacher organized a situational performance activity, the content of which was the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. When the class teacher assigned the children the roles in the story, the little nephew was unwilling to accept the \”dwarfs\” assigned to him and insisted on Pick your own characters. The class teacher later assigned the role to other children after two unsuccessful attempts to communicate. The children performed wonderfully. Because of this incident, the little nephew went home and made a big fuss. The sister-in-law finally found the head teacher. The head teacher made it clear: \”It\’s not that I didn\’t give him a chance, but every time he encountered something he didn\’t want to do or it was a little difficult, he Just find excuses to escape.\” Public praise obviously made him inflated and became very \”selfish\”. Moreover, the relatives and friends around him, including teachers and children, all paid him too much attention. It is this sense of superiority that fuels his \”dominance\” and makes him unwilling to face setbacks and criticism. But if you can\’t make yourself strong enough to adapt to the environment, the environment will never give in for you. \”Natural selection, survival of the fittest\” can also be seen in some small things. If you don\’t give in and can\’t integrate, someone will replace you. Some are uncomfortable, and children must experience them. Children must endure some hardships, because this is what they must experience when growing up, and no one can replace you. The development of children\’s sense of superiority is not innate, but is closely related to the acquired living environment and family education methods. An appropriate sense of superiority can make children more confident, but an excessive sense of superiority is tantamount to poison, which will deeply poison the child\’s psychology and cause defects in the child\’s character. In the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), researchers from the Netherlands reported that children who receive excessive praise from their parents are more likely to exhibit narcissistic traits rather than self-confidence. Therefore, parents need to help their children adjust their emotions and eliminate their subconscious \”sense of superiority.\” Efforts should be made to cultivate children\’s tolerance and equality, teach them to evaluate themselves correctly and form correct values. We need to let our children understand that they have shortcomings and see their true selves. Realize that you are superior in only one aspect, not everything. There are still many places where you are not as good as others. Learn to look at others with appreciation, learn to respect others and treat others equally. Children are young and have limited cognitive discrimination. It is easy for children to become complacent and superior because of their parents\’ cues and the family\’s superior material conditions. Therefore, parents should teach their children to be diligent and reverent in their daily words and deeds. because oneOnce a \”little emperor\” gets the attention and flattery from people around him, he will become increasingly narrow-minded, arrogant and arrogant. Meng Fei said: \”All superiority does not come from appearance, body, knowledge, family, wealth, status, achievements and power. It only comes from lack of knowledge and compassion.\” If we can guide children to care for the bottom of society from the bottom of their hearts, , have a thorough insight into social phenomena, and thus realize that it is a reasonable belief to treat each other equally and respect each other. I think such children will never compare and have an inflated sense of superiority.