How old do you have to be to say no to your children?

Parents all over the world just want to make their children happy. So they will try their best to satisfy their children\’s wishes. And sometimes, even if it feels inappropriate, I can\’t help but give in. In the supermarket a few days ago, I saw a little boy standing in the toy aisle begging his mother, \”Buy me that car.\” \”I bought it last time! Baby\” \”I don\’t like that one, I want this new one.\” .\” \”Next time I buy it, you should play with the one at home more.\” \”No, I just want to buy it.\” The child started to cry. The mother didn\’t give in. At this time, the child hugged the mother and started kicking and beating her. Finally, my mother gave in. Bought him this new toy. Many times, parents encounter this situation. In the end, I was more than satisfied. Especially parents are usually very busy and don’t have much time to take care of their children. That will bring with it a sense of guilt, and the child will buy whatever he wants. Children will be keenly aware of this characteristic of their parents. So I thought of ways to control my parents and satisfy my own needs. When faced with your child’s unreasonable demands, please have the courage to say “no” to your child! We often talk about loving our children. So much so that some mothers think that they cannot reject their children and must satisfy their children\’s unreasonable demands. This is called acceptance. Psychologists point out that children need \”love\” to grow, but the essence of love, the art of love, and the expression of love are not just giving, not just satisfaction, not just accommodation in every possible way, and not letting children feel \”happy\” forever! One mother once mentioned something. He said that his daughter, who was in the first grade, suddenly said one day that she no longer wanted to go to school. In fact, my daughter has always been very well-behaved and is recognized as a good child. And she herself has always been so strict with herself. So that day she went to find the teacher to understand the situation. It turned out that it was because my daughter was talking to the classmates next to her in class, and the teacher\’s words were a bit harsh, so she refused to go to class. She tried her best to persuade her for a long time but to no avail. She said she regretted it because her daughter\’s heart was too fragile. Even just want to hear praise and good words. If someone says a word \”no\”, the child will instantly become angry. Sometimes, we say that good children are dangerous, and this danger may come from such vulnerability. In the process of growing up, it is certain to encounter various blows. What is more realistic is that parents cannot always stay with their children to comfort them. So we must think about it, is the child\’s heart ready to accept rejection, dare to face difficulties, and hate? This kind of strong heart, in addition to the love of parents, definitely also needs some \”sharpening\” from parents. Do you dare to say \”no\” to your children? This is a very critical question. When you were little, you were afraid that he would cry and act violently and compromise. Then when your child gets older and you refuse his unreasonable demands, The result may not be crying on the floor. Maybe he did something extreme when he was out of control. I still remember when my son was three years old, I took him to the supermarket, and one time he insisted on buying an electric toy. But that doesn\’t suit his age. I told him the reason, but he persisted. Then cry there. When the salesperson came over and saw the child like this, he said, \”Ask your dad to buy it. This is very fun.\” This simply added fuel to the fire. He turned his head and looked at me, crying even louder. II didn\’t lose my temper at that time and looked at him calmly. \”Dad has made it very clear to you. This toy is suitable for children over 10 years old. You have to wait a few years.\” \”If you choose one that suits you, dad can buy you the same one.\” At this time, his The crying was a little quieter. Then I guided him to buy a small toy that suited him. Through this incident, I made him understand that unreasonable demands cannot be satisfied by crying, and his father will refuse them. And dad can satisfy your reasonable needs. When children have this concept. I will never lose my temper because of situations like this in the future. When children are over three years old, some of their cries have special purposes. It’s not like when you were a baby, it was just to fill your stomach or make you feel uncomfortable when you poop. At this time, it may be to satisfy one\’s own excessive needs. He even knew that this was excessive, but he thought of using this \”effective\” method to achieve his goal. And he certainly experimented and succeeded. For example, in our house, we cannot turn on the TV at night from Monday to Thursday. But after my grandma came, my son would find the old man and ask her to open it. When I said no, he started crying. Then watched the old man speak for him. At first, I was concerned about the old man, so I gave in. I felt that the old man was boring alone, so there was no harm in taking a look. As a result, the son thought of using this method to continue to satisfy himself. Don\’t sleep till then. If you say no, he will change his attitude. I explained this rule to the old man in front of him that day. At night, my son thought his method was still working. But at this time, I told myself that I must stick to the rules. He cried and I watched him cry. And asked him how it felt to cry? As I talked, I stopped crying. Because there’s no point in crying. Parents must not sacrifice rules to make their children happy. Instead, children should learn to face setbacks and accept the reality of rejection. Because children do not naturally develop this ability to face setbacks. Please say no to your children in a peaceful way. In order to make their children remember, many parents choose to scold them first and then comfort them. A friend said that sometimes his biggest worry is not his children, but his grumpy wife. Because my wife is always cruel to my children. He tried to persuade her, but it was of no use. Once my son poured his leftover rice into a pot of flowers. The mother saw it and scolded the child for four or five minutes. You said you can\’t do this, why are you such a prodigal son, you are stupid! Pour the soup into the flower pot! But the son finally told him that he wanted to give the flower some food, because his father said it had no nutrition and the leaves were all yellow. After hearing this, my friend felt that the child was really wronged. He told his wife about it that day, and she also felt that he had a bad temper and needed to change it. Because parents’ angry emotions or words that attack their children will make the children feel that they are bad and defective. Maybe if it really turns out to be what you scolded, will he think that this is what I am like? It often has long-term negative effects on the child\’s life. In addition to beating and scolding, children are actually willing to hear you say \”no\”. It’s just that we need a little skill, such as telling a story, which often has unexpected effects. I remember one time, the hot meal was servedtable. But my son never washed his hands and prepared to eat. Instead, he continued to play with his toys. I told him to give him 3 minutes to tidy up and then eat. He also agreed, but when the time came, he still refused to listen. At this time, I reminded him that he had broken the rules and would be punished. In the end, I slapped my palm, and I was crying alone. I just let him cry for a while. When he stopped, he looked at us. At this time, the child is actually eager for you to pull him over. I walked over and told him. \”I\’ll tell you a story. One time I was at the station and I saw a mother spanking her daughter hard. Do you know why?\” He started to listen to me. \”Because the train was about to leave, it only took a few minutes to leave. At this time, the mother was carrying two big bags and could not hold the child. But the girl kept asking her mother to hold her, and then she sat on the ground and pulled her mother not to leave.\” \”I He will walk by himself.\” The son began to integrate into the story. \”Yes, because my mother couldn\’t free her hands at that time and missed the train. The mother and daughter had no choice but to change their reservation or delay it until the next day. As a result, they might have to stay near the station for a night. Think about it, isn\’t that bad?\” At that time, the mother spanked the child, and the little girl followed her mother in the car obediently. \”Do you think this little girl deserves a spanking?\” \”Well.\” \”Then you deliberately delayed yourself and didn\’t eat when it was time to eat. Do you deserve to be punished?\” At this time, he realized that his behavior was being punished. , is caused by oneself. Saying yes is easy, but saying no to a child is really challenging! Because this is also love, and it requires the core of love.