Does your child cry as soon as he enters kindergarten? These \”stop crying\” methods shocked me

Yesterday was Goddess\’ Day, and the kindergarten held an open day, inviting parents to play games, do crafts, eat with their children, and experience their children\’s daily life. It was morning exercise time when our parents went in. The children who were doing exercises to the music were very happy when they saw their families coming. They had to keep up with the teacher\’s movements, jumping high and squatting low to show their parents. I was happily taking photos of Guoguo, when suddenly I heard a cry of \”woo woo woo\” coming from the noisy crowd. The child was fine at first, but he kept crying when he saw his mother. One boy suddenly started crying when he saw his mother coming. His mother felt strange. She touched his face to comfort him and said, \”Why are you crying? Why are you crying when you are fine?\” The young man was very cute. Although there were tears streaming down his face, he still stood still. The people in the queue followed the gestures and insisted on completing the operation. After it was over the teacher took the children upstairs. In order to ensure order, the kindergarten requires that children follow their teachers and parents go up last. When we went upstairs, the children had already taken off their hats and coats as required by the teacher, folded them into the required shape on their seats, and voluntarily handed them to the basket in front of the classroom. In order not to block the passage, parents also consciously lined up in separate lines and entered the class one by one. When I arrived at the door, I saw a boy who had half of his coat off. He was crying and walking against our queue, muttering: \”Mom, mom, I want mom to take off her clothes…\” Time was running out, I can\’t tell if it\’s the one I cried just now, or if it\’s another baby. I\’m just worried that it\’s dangerous for him to go against the current among the tall parents. The mother behind me also coaxed: \”Baby, why are you crying? You can\’t go out, you have to go back to find the teacher.\” But the child couldn\’t listen at all and kept pushing outside while crying. Fortunately, his parents took him away later. Come back. I think of several mothers asking recently, what should I do if their children don’t want to go to kindergarten and cry when they go to kindergarten? I originally thought that \”kindergarten anxiety\” only happened when school first started. How could it still be the same for children who have been in school for half a year or one year? These methods of stopping crying shocked me. In fact, I just finished the winter vacation. The child used to stay with his parents at home every day, but suddenly he had to be pulled up early in the morning to live in a group, and he could not see his family all day. It\’s normal to be a little reluctant. But what we parents do will have a great impact. When Guoguo first entered kindergarten, she would see children crying every day when she picked them up. One time, a grandma (or grandma) led her little granddaughter to walk in front of us. The child was sobbing. The grandma said: \”Stop crying. If you don\’t cry when you look at other children, if you cry again, you will be left in the kindergarten tomorrow.\” Let\’s go home!\” I was afraid that Guoguo, who had just entered the garden, would be frightened when he heard it. Fortunately, I was on the first floor at the time. I took Guoguo\’s hand and quickened my pace, and hurried over. There were also many children crying at the entrance of the kindergarten. The one who impressed me the most was a boy who was also picked up by an old man. Seeing his grandson crying non-stop, grandma (or grandma) did something I had never thought of – taking it from his pocket. He took out a 100-yuan note, stuffed it into the child\’s hand, and said, \”Stop crying. I\’ll give you this. Don\’t cry even if you come tomorrow!\” Really! thing! Because I was shocked, I even walked over and looked back twice.. The child held up a pink Mao Zedong with one hand and wiped the tears on his face with the other hand. It looked particularly magical in the autumn sunshine. I thought to myself, it’s not easy being a parent. You have to pay money to the kindergarten, and you also have to pay money to the children… It’s very common to scare children: “If you cry again, I won’t pick you up!”, “You won’t listen! If the teacher says so, I’ll keep you!”, “If you don’t go to the kindergarten obediently, I won’t let you go!”… As adults, we may not imagine how terrifying these words are to children. They are basically just words. The more you talk about it, the more insecure and scared your child becomes, and the less willing they are to go to school, and they even hate kindergarten. As for the act of giving money, to put it bluntly, it is a means of reward. The child does not realize that it is natural for him to go to school, but feels that it is \”paid\”. Not to mention that the weight will lose its appeal if it loses its appeal. This value That\’s not quite right. It is very simple to make children cry less. Just let them go when it is time to let them go. In fact, it is very common and normal for children to cry when they go to kindergarten or are unwilling to enter kindergarten. After all, it is the first time in my life that my children have been \”separated\”. If the child doesn\’t show any reluctance, sometimes the mother will feel uneasy – why doesn\’t my child take me seriously? then what should we do? Very easy to handle. At the first parent-teacher meeting, the teacher said that over the years they had seen many \”life and death\” scenes when entering kindergarten. In fact, it was okay. They just handed the child into the teacher\’s hands and left. Don\’t let the child cry more and more. You The more children I keep, the more excited I become. Take the open day of our kindergarten yesterday as an example. The child has been in kindergarten for half a year. He does exercises with teachers and classmates, goes upstairs, takes off his coat and folds clothes. These are familiar daily procedures. He usually does them well, but what about mom? What if it doesn\’t work anymore? Because I finally have someone to rely on. How are those relatively independent children raised? In an occasion like an open day where there are children and parents, you can tell at a glance. Parents are obviously divided into two categories: one is to sit down on a small chair and let the child follow the teacher\’s instructions, go to the toilet, wash hands, drink water alone, and wait for the child to return to the seat to find themselves; the other is completely Unable to sit down, no matter where the child goes, he will follow him wherever he goes. He has to watch the child pee and pick up his pants with his own eyes. Even if the child usually has to do it by himself in the garden, he will not consider tall adults squeezing in. , it will block the bathroom and prevent the children from going in and out… Looking at it this way, it is easy to guess how parents interact with their children at home. Just imagine, if a child takes off his shoes and clothes, eats and goes to the bathroom, there are people following him step by step, helping him hand in hand. Only when he goes to kindergarten does everything he needs to do by himself, and he is \”alone\” wherever he goes. Anyone else would feel like this. Isn\’t there a huge gap in treatment? Kindergarten is not good, don’t you like it? In fact, what children are required to do in kindergarten will not exceed the normal development level of the age group, and they are all what children should be able to do. Therefore, whether we are at home or away, there is no need to do it for our children, otherwise it will become pampering. When we dare to let go, children can learn to be independent. Looking at it from another perspective, \”letting go\” actually means giving the child more trust and helping himDevelop self-confidence. If we don’t even believe that our children can grow up and be competent, then the children will naturally feel that they “can’t do it” and “can’t do it well”, and they want to find adults to solve everything. However, my child is particularly afraid of going to kindergarten… In addition to normal crying, if the child is particularly afraid of kindergarten, parents can try to start from two aspects: First, recall whether the parents are usually absent from the child\’s life. , there is very little time to accompany him. Also, when I sent you to the kindergarten, I was threatened with \”I won\’t take you home if you cry again.\” These may cause children to feel insecure and fear being separated from their families. In this case, in addition to maximizing the time and quality of accompanying the child, parents can patiently do more foreshadowing and tell some picture book stories about entering the kindergarten, so that the child understands that parents do not want you anymore and will take you back soon. , in kindergarten you can play a lot of games with teachers and classmates, make new friends, etc., give your children more encouragement. The second is to find out whether the child has encountered any unhappy things in kindergarten. You can talk to the child and communicate with the teacher. Having said that, mothers don’t need to be particularly nervous at the beginning. Many times they are not being bullied or abused. Sometimes their children have sensitive personalities and strong self-esteem, and some small details may cause them to be hit. Guoguo came home unhappy one time, saying she was criticized by the teacher. When I asked, it turned out that it was not a \”criticism\” at all. For example, when she wanted to get her coat, the teacher said no. The child\’s language expression ability is limited, and he often speaks incoherently after asking questions for a long time. Use patience to slowly communicate clearly, or ask the teacher to understand the situation. In fact, children\’s feelings towards kindergarten also change day by day. Guoguo often does this. Sometimes she wakes up early in the morning and feels uncomfortable, so she says she doesn’t want to go and is unhappy. In the afternoon I pick her up and she laughs non-stop and tells me the name of her new friend. I love kindergarten very much…so let\’s relax ourselves. Learning to socialize and adapt to collective life is, after all, the only way for children to grow up, so just let them go and explore on their own!