Effective communication skills with children are the foundation of family education

Communication is an art and a homework, especially between parents and children. As the child\’s first life mentor, the quality of communication between parents and their children determines, to a certain extent, the quality of the parent-child relationship, the quality of family education, and the results of the child\’s mental growth. It can be said that the way of communication with children is the foundation of family education. Communication method is a bit general, but what does it mean specifically? Communication, as a scenario-based vocabulary, includes three levels: posture, tone, and principles. The best communication gesture between parents and children is equality. Although the child is a minor and a small person, he is also a complete person. They are dependent on their parents in life, but they are actually equal in personality. In the traditional Chinese tutoring tradition, the understanding that the son is the father has led many parents to develop the concept that the child was born and raised by me, so he should listen to me and I have the right to teach him a lesson – which is a bit unfair to the child. When private property means, and believe in it. Under the guidance of this concept, although parents love and care for their children, and make every effort to hope that their children will succeed, many of them adopt a condescending teaching attitude, establish their authority at every turn, and occupy a strong dominant position in the parent-child relationship. In a word, it does not give children a relatively equal attitude. (Absolute equality is impossible because of the natural attributes of the roles.) Maybe many parents will say that this is how our parents treated us back then, and this is normal. My child has too many \”immature\” words and deeds that I can\’t stand, so I have to correct him. I educate him for his own good. These words may seem reasonable at first glance, but they actually overlook one point, which is that children are treated as accessories in terms of personality, and children are not regarded as independent individuals with independent personalities. In terms of the nature of getting along, parents should participate in their children\’s growth rather than dominate their children\’s growth. Because the ultimate result of children\’s growth is to leave their parents and family and go to the society to build their own career and life. In addition to cultivating skills and academic performance, the education of children when they are minors is more important to improve their character and personality and lay the foundation for their future independent adults. Good parent-child equal communication is like this. We must first establish the concept of equality: stop treating children as an unfinished part of your childhood, think more from other people\’s perspective, understand the rules of growth above the parents\’ consciousness, respect the child\’s tendency to think independently, and tolerate the child\’s behavior. Errors allow children to improve themselves through constant trial and error. Good equality is like this. In terms of communication, be as friendly and friendly as possible: negotiate with your children more often than force them. Even if the child is wrong, we should guide him and inform him in a heuristic way, rather than just reprimanding and directly denying everything. Children who are denied too much by their parents in childhood often lack self-confidence when they grow up. Parental love is the best love for children, and family harmony is the best platform for children to grow up healthily. Families full of laughter rarely see children with low self-esteem, paranoia, or mania. Because parents’ tone of voice is the first signal for children to accept feedback from the outside world, parents who speak softly, kindly, and lovingly to their children will virtually build a relaxed and friendly little world for their children. This will help the children adapt to the group, dare to express, and dare to express themselves. Being yourself has subtle positive guidance. upholdMost parents who are dignified by their elders don\’t pay attention to the tone of speaking to their children. Many parents are troubled by their children\’s disobedience and naughtiness. After losing their patience, they often reprimand their children simply and rudely, unable to control their own tone. Such parents do not understand child psychology, do not know that children\’s psychological nature is fragile and easily influenced by parents, do not understand that emotions can be contagious, and that anger can cause destruction. Blind suppression and harsh reprimands will certainly frighten children\’s immature thoughts and behaviors, but they will also suppress their courage to express and try. In addition, after observing, imitating, and thinking about the environment, the child\’s awareness of what kind of \”I\” he or she is will continue to increase, and he will continue to desire to try and perform in his daily life, that is, he will continue to declare his individualized opinions, which will be displayed in the eyes of his parents. Seems rebellious. The more youthful rebellion is suppressed and scolded, the stronger it will be, and the more extreme the personality traits will appear. Therefore, tone is not an obvious educational content, but it is extremely important. If your parents don\’t believe it, you will understand the bad impact it had on you by recalling the rude speaking style of your elders when you were a child. There is another very important aspect of the principled communication method, which is the principle in communication: 1. Educate children by setting an example for things that you cannot do or do not do yourself. No matter how much you say, it will arouse doubts and loss in the children\’s hearts. Authority, because you yourself are not setting an example for your children. You can\’t convince a child that something you don\’t have is a good thing. 2. Be a child\’s emotional stabilizer, not a resonator. The so-called child\’s temper means that there are always some irrational aspects. Parents and children will influence each other, but many times when a child gets emotional, he just wants an explanation from you, rather than wanting you to follow him in getting emotional. When facing a child\’s emotions, you must be calm and present him with an objective attitude. Only in this way can he have a clear understanding of himself and try to deal with his emotions on his own. 3. Encourage and praise children\’s motivations and characteristics, not results. Encouraging education always emphasizes that praise will make children more confident, but blindly praising the results of children\’s actions will only make children feel elated and gain superficial self-confidence. The correct way should be to encourage children\’s motivations and characteristics to do things, so as to strengthen their understanding of themselves, and then continue to take proactive actions to transform them into abilities. 4. Dare to admit mistakes and learn to make amends afterwards. Many parents are unwilling to admit and take responsibility for the wrong things they have done due to the face issue of \”my identity\”. Let the children feel that their parents are unfair and unreasonable. This is not advisable. The correct way is for parents to do something wrong and hurt their children. They should bravely admit it afterwards and give a rational explanation and response. This not only takes care of the child\’s feelings, but also sets a good example for the child to take responsibility. 5. Talking less is better than talking more, and conciseness is more effective. Many parents, especially mothers, especially like special education and lengthy sermons, thinking that if they talk too much, their children will always remember a few sentences. In fact, this method violates the information reception rules of the human brain – expression without focus and emphasis, the more you talk, the more confused the audience will be. If you don’t believe it, you can try itRecall what you gained from listening to leaders give long reports and experts give long lectures. Therefore, parents should think carefully before educating their children. If you speak less concisely and focus on the pain points, it will be easier to enter the child\’s cerebral cortex and impress the child.