Parent-child relationship is ten thousand times more important than education

For Pai and I, this is the first Spring Festival with three children, and for Xiao Pai, this is the first winter vacation with two younger sisters. In addition, my aunt is off for nearly a month before and after the Chinese New Year. The two-to-three pattern during this holiday is a great challenge for everyone in our family of five. Although I had just taken the vaccination with Xiaopai, \”Baby, my parents have to take care of two younger sisters this holiday. Time is very tight and I may not be able to take care of you often. I hope you can understand and you can take care of yourself, right?\” \”Yes.\” Although she said this, I was still worried about how well she could do during this holiday and whether I could take her feelings into consideration. It was okay two weeks before the vacation. I discussed with her and signed up for yoga classes in the community, as well as the golf classes I had been taking. When she returns home, she watches her favorite movies \”Sherlock Holmes\” and \”The Adventures of Tintin.\” Sometimes she makes appointments with her classmates to play in the community, and goes home to do homework and tease her sister, and they get along quite well with her. Two days before the holiday, our family of five and my grandma set off for Yunnan, and the problem began to surface little by little. Traveling is always a chore, and we were so overwhelmed that we had three children with us. The journey was predictable. First, I had a migraine attack on the first day out. I had to wait for several hours to transfer at Kunming Airport. Pai\’s father and I were busy taking care of the two little ones, and Pai was really bored. Pai’s father had an old mobile phone that had been retired from the past. There were very few software installed on it, so he gave it to her to relieve her boredom. In the first day or two after arriving in Banna, we were all exhausted, so we took our two little ones to a hotel. We, my husband, and our two younger sisters stayed in one room, while Xiao Pai and my grandma stayed in the same room. Many times, she would search for variety shows on her mobile phone. After watching them for a long time, she would ignore her grandma\’s comments. At the end of the day, we usually only chat for a few words during meals. Most of the time, we are busy with the little baby eating and drinking, while she sleeps in her room and plays with her mobile phone. I saw it in my eyes and felt a little anxious in my heart, but with two little kids in tow and unable to separate themselves, I couldn\’t find a solution for a while. On the fourth day in Banna, we went to the local Buddhist temple together. We had dinner nearby at noon. Pai’s dad and I were going to take our two younger sisters back to the hotel to rest. Lele’s family, who were going with us, were going to go shopping in the afternoon. Xiao Pai said that he would go with their family, but only if he brought his mobile phone with him. . I was originally unhappy with her frequent use of her mobile phone in the past few days. When I thought about her having to take her mobile phone with her and go out to play in the afternoon, I firmly disagreed. \”You can go play, but you can\’t bring daddy\’s mobile phone!\” My tone was very strong, and she stayed in the hotel and refused to leave. After a long stalemate, she refused to leave, so I angrily took a taxi with my sister on the side of the road and prepared to go back to the hotel. I didn\’t breastfeed all morning, and I felt very uncomfortable with my breast milk. The third child was hungry and sleepy. The second child felt hot, so he took off his shoes and socks and climbed out of the stroller, standing barefoot on the hot road. I held Ningning with one hand to prevent her from running around. At the same time, I had to keep an eye on the road to see if there were any empty cars. The sun at noon in Banna was scorching, and I was so irritated that I almost collapsed. At that moment, I had ten thousand thoughts in my heart. A mud horse galloped by. Later, when we got into the car and Pai\’s dad took Xiao Pai into the car, I finally couldn\’t help but yell at Pai\’s dad., \”I told you 100 times not to hand over useless old mobile phones to children!\” I even drew a detailed cartoon about the out-of-control scene at that time (if you are interested, you can click → Spring Festival Travel Notes), which is still vivid in my mind. . It had been a long time since I had been so aggressive. After I vented my anger, I leaned against the car window. The third child fell asleep in my arms at some point, the second child was so sleepy that he dozed off, and Xiaopai sat there without saying a word. I don’t know what she was thinking. Maybe she was frightened by my hysteria, or maybe she felt guilty for the scolding my father received. I remembered that in the past, we would often chat together and talk about our hearts. But this time, I was out for several days and was exhausted, but I almost never had a good conversation with her. Finally returned to Guangzhou. The next night, she said she wanted to go to Mimi\’s classmate\’s house. Mimi\’s house was only a hundred meters away from my home. I looked at the time and said, \”Can I go home by myself before 9 o\’clock?\” She flew As I ran out the door, a distant \”Okay~\” floated in the air. After coaxing Ningning to sleep, I got up and saw that it was almost 9:30, so I called her and said, \”It\’s already 9:30.\” \”I\’ll be back in a minute.\” Half an hour later, when no one was seen, I called again. She said, \”Several classmates are playing at her house. I will leave whenever they want.\” \”But you promised mom that at 9 o\’clock,\” she hung up the phone. I was very angry and decided not to call again to see how long she could wait. Sitting on the sofa and reading a book, my heart felt like a cat was scratching at me. I don’t know how long it took, but the door opened with a click. I looked up and saw that the hour hand pointed to 11 o’clock. She may have sensed my aura and silently prepared to walk back to the room. I suppressed my anger and said, \”Mom, let me sleep with you tonight.\” She was noncommittal. I followed her into the room and decided to have a good chat with her. \”Dad and I were very worried when you came back so late. It also delayed our sleep. We are very tired with two babies and want to go to bed early.\” She didn\’t seem to hear him and remained silent. The fire started to rise again as I pressed down, \”Next time you go to your classmate\’s house, come back early, otherwise we won\’t wait for you.\” Why are you always urging me to come back? You two will accompany your sister. What\’s the point of me staying at home alone? The two sisters are so young, can they be cared for by no one? It’s okay if no one cares about me, right? (She starts to cry.) I know that your parents have spent too little time with you during this time. (My voice weakens.) You know what it does? (She continued to cry while talking.) I couldn\’t bear it, \”When auntie comes back and my sister is watched, mom can take time to spend with you.\” She turned her back to me, curled up, and cried, \”You Come on, I don’t want you to sleep with me.” I walked out of the room with tears in my eyes. The little girl who always pestered me to sleep with me kicked me out of the room. I\’m not qualified to bargain, and I can\’t even give her the minimum amount of time. Grandma thinks I\’m spoiling her a little. She\’s over 9 years old. Don\’t you know that my sister needs more care from her mother? I tried to explain to her that understanding and acceptance are two different things. From a rational point of view, of course she knew that her parents had to take care of her sister, and she made a lot of concessions. In the past, when I went to interest classes, we would sometimes have to pick me up and drop me off. This holiday, I have to go back and forth by myself. But there is a limit to the tolerance of an adult, let alone a 9-year-old child. ChongqingEmotionally speaking, when she wanted to talk to her mother, her mother was breastfeeding, and when she wanted to listen to a story, her mother was sleeping with her sister. What she heard, saw, and experienced was that her mother didn\’t care about me. Don\’t care about me. Think of that sentence: Parent-child relationship is ten thousand times more important than education. If there is not enough companionship and a strong relationship with your child, then what you say to him will not have the slightest influence. The so-called education is just a castle in the air. School finally started and my aunt came back. I promised her that I would pick her up after school this week. \”Don\’t take your sister with you when you pick me up. Just come alone.\” \”Okay.\” I also agreed with her that Saturday is \”Mom\’s Photography Day\”, that is, I will focus on spending time with her on that day. In addition to feeding the third child, Give her part of the time. After freeing myself from the crazy two-for-three mode, my own condition gradually improved. Before going to bed last night, I held her in my arms and chatted, and we talked about some things about the holiday. \”Seeing you and dad only caring about your sister, I got a little angry and had no choice but to play with my phone.\” \”There is no way, the baby will die if no one cares about it.\” \”I read in the book that babies are also very powerful. When they are hungry I can crawl to the refrigerator and rummage through the food on my own to stay hungry.\” \”Ah, what book are you reading?\” I exclaimed, \”Okay, then I won\’t care if they are hungry next time, let\’s see if they can do it on their own. Climb to the refrigerator?\” \”Hahaha, I just can\’t bear it.\”