Learn this, and children will be more likely to be happy

Is it important that a child’s grades are good? important. Does it matter if the child has a good personality? important. Is it important for children to have good moral character? important. Is it important for children to be well-educated? important. However, will a child with good grades definitely be happy in the future? uncertain. Will a child with a good personality be happy in the future? uncertain. Will a child with good moral character be happy in the future? uncertain. Will a well-educated child be happy in the future? uncertain. So, what kind of children are most likely to be happy? American child development psychologist Myrna B. Schur said: Children who can learn conflict resolution and getting along with others are the most likely to be happy. Life is long, anything can happen, and anyone can meet. The traps and ditches of life will not be detoured just because you have good grades, good character, good moral character, and education. However, when you have good problem-solving and conflict-solving thinking and skills, your life will become easier, you will be more satisfied with yourself, better able to adapt to society, more likely to succeed, and have better interpersonal relationships. Looking back on our childhood, under what circumstances did we feel the most incompetent and helpless? That\’s right, it\’s when we feel that we \”can\’t solve the current problem (conflict), are forced to take unacceptable actions (emotions), but are not understood.\” For example, the fat neighbor took my toy car and refused to give it back to me. Then I beat him up and took my toy car back. Because I hit him, his mother found my mother, and my mother beat me again because I was \”bullying\”. What is the result of this? Xiaopang was beaten, and his mother was very angry. My mother was very angry, and I was beaten. Although I got back what belonged to me, because I used violence, my interpersonal relationships were damaged and I couldn\’t feel a sense of accomplishment or happiness. Over time, I became \”other people\’s children\” – other people\’s \”bad\” children. Of course, I can also choose not to give up this toy and \”gift\” it to Xiaopang – my mother said this is called sharing. However, because this \”gift\” was not given willingly, I was unhappy. My relationships were intact, but I still lacked a sense of accomplishment and happiness. So, what can I do to successfully get back what belongs to me without damaging the relationship with Xiaopang when encountering a similar situation? This is what my mother did: Mom: Little Carrot, Little Fatty’s mother said you beat Little Fatty. Tell me what\’s going on? (Open-ended questions to help children realize what happened.) Me: Xiaopang took my toy car and refused to give it back to me. Mom: Why do you have to get it back right away? (Helps children better understand their own thoughts.) Me: Because the toy car is mine. Mom: You beat Little Fatty and took back the toy car. How do you think Little Fatty will feel? (Help your child consider other people’s feelings.) Me: He’s sad and angry. But I don\’t care because the toy car is mine. Mom: What did Little Fatty do when you spanked him? (Help children think about the consequences of their actions.) Me: He hit me too. Mom: So how do you feel? (Help the child think about his or her feelings.) Me: Veryangry. It was my toy, why did he hit me? Mom: You get angry and get beaten, and your friends get angry and get beaten. Can you think of a way to get the toy back without fighting? Me: I’ll tell him nicely and ask him to return the toy to me. Mom: What might happen? (Instruct the child to think about the consequences of positive solutions.) Me: He’ll say no. Mom: He might say no. Can you think of any other way to get the toy back? (Encouraging the child to come up with more solutions.) Me: I can ask him to play with my train. Anyway, I\’ve had enough fun, but he just doesn\’t have it, so maybe he likes it very much. Mom: It’s really great. You came up with two different solutions to the problem. Such conversations can help: Help children find more positive solutions to problems. Help your child realize that there is not just one solution to a problem. Help children understand their feelings and realize the consequences of their actions. Help children learn to consider the feelings of others. I don’t know if you have discovered that successful and attractive adults have at least these characteristics: self-confidence; making themselves comfortable; making others feel comfortable. Confidence comes from believing that you can solve problems and conflicts. Making yourself comfortable shows that you care about your feelings. Making others feel comfortable shows that you are considerate of their feelings. Such people are usually defined by us as having \”high IQ and high EQ\”. How can a person with \”high IQ and high EQ\” be unhappy? How could it not be successful? Let children learn to think and believe that they can solve problems. This does not mean that children must learn to solve problems \”correctly\” immediately, but it emphasizes helping children practice thinking about how to solve problems. In this way, children will try to solve new problems that constantly arise in their lives. They may fail, or the solution may not be satisfactory at first, but as children continue to practice and master problem-solving and conflict-solving skills, their problem-solving abilities will naturally improve. American child development psychologist Myrna B. Schur and his colleagues found through research that children who can understand that behaviors have cause and effect, that everyone has feelings, and that there is more than one way to solve daily interpersonal problems, Children who act impulsively at the first sign of a problem will have fewer behavioral problems and are less likely to be depressed. When things don\’t go your way, you are less likely to lose your temper, less aggressive, and more caring about others, less complaining and less pushy, and thus have better relationships. I don’t know if you have noticed that those who often lose their temper and blame others have a common characteristic: when they encounter something that makes them unhappy, they cannot solve it and cannot let it go. They pay for their emotions by losing their temper and blaming others. . Doing so will hurt other people\’s feelings and make you unhappy. And the problem has not been solved. At this time, TA\’s psychology will be filled with a deep sense of incompetence and frustration, and the words he speaks and the behaviors he exhibits will become even more unacceptable. If he can learn to solve problems and conflicts by himself in childhood, he will become more confident and rational as an adult, and he will naturally have good interpersonal relationships. Everyone wants to be happy, everyone wantsYour children are happy. However, in addition to sunflowers, life gifts us with waves of zombies. If we want to defeat zombies, we can’t just use pea shooters. There are many plants to choose from. This requires learning to think independently and make choices. A happy person must be someone who can think independently and solve problems. A person who can bring happiness to others must first be a happy person himself.