Parents only need to do these three words, and their children will be happier

In the past two days, while watching the variety show \”Three Yards\”, I became a fan of Jordan Chan and Cai\’er Ying, the \”laughing couple\”. It is said that the two people have sharply contrasting personalities, but their daily life together is full of shit every minute. When Jordan Chan cooked porridge for the first time, Cai\’er Ying immediately transformed into the \”King of Support\” and gave her husband\’s porridge a unique name: \”Chen\’s Porridge.\” The porridge was brought to the table, and Ying Cai\’er strongly recommended it to everyone: \”The porridge made by my husband is pretty good.\” She also acted coquettishly and cutely: \”This is the first time I\’ve seen my husband cook porridge.\” When someone suggested leaving the porridge for others to taste, Ying Cai\’er immediately became \”stingy\”: \”I won\’t let you taste it. I have never eaten the porridge made by my husband, and I still have to leave it for him.\” Written by Chen Xiaochun, who is not good at words. I wrote a letter to Ying Caier: \”I am very happy to share every bit of myself with you today. I love you, just like the sky cannot be without stars, moon and sun. Thank you for helping me give birth to a baby. I believe he will grow up.\” He will definitely become a talented son.\” Children who grow up in such a loving family naturally have a \”unique\” casual side~ In the past two days, a set of funny photos of \”Little Spring\” Jasper were posted. Jasper holds a black marker in his hand and scribbles on his face and body. \”Ding dong, your beauty blogger is online~\” This playful little smile, this free and cheerful fashion feel~ The two hot-tempered \”Chaotianjiao\” give the child unlimited safety with full love Feeling, watering and polishing created such a soft and cute \”little bell pepper\”. What is it like to be constantly bullied by your parents? Many netizens gave hilarious and heart-warming answers: My parents are not very good at using QQ. After I applied for them, I just picked a name at random. Later I found out that one of them was called \”Little Sun\” and the other was called \”Little Earth\” . (@Zhihu Netizen Zhang Zengzeng) Another netizen’s experience during the Spring Festival: A sweet blow from my parents. This bowl of \”Happiness Brand Dog Food\” contains N plus numbers of sugar, which is a bit high ~ compared to my parents For such a public display of affection, the experience of the girl below may be considered \”internal injury level.\” A mother who shows affection in such a \”secret way\” and is immersed in love will never reach the age of 18. Some parents, while showing affection, still enjoy \”stimulating their children\”: On Valentine\’s Day, my mother asked my father to buy her a gift. My dad said that you are my wife and my daughter is my lover in my previous life. I bought it for my daughter. In the evening, I went home and saw a big box of chocolates, my favorite kind. I ran over and my dad put a hand on my face and pushed me away. Me: \”???Didn\’t you buy it for me? Aren\’t I a little lover?\” My dad: \”You are from a previous life, this is for my wife…\” (a Zhihu netizen) Well, if you say that to me If you are passionate about love, it is because your parents feed you deeply. Netizen Karen Luo shared some details about her daily life of \”abusing\” her at her parents\’ home: Zou Shiming and Ran Yingying, a couple who have two super cute babies, are not merciless when they show affection and \”abuse\” their babies on a daily basis. A picture showing the area of ​​​​the psychological shadow of Pang Xuan at this moment – his mother\’s starry eyes are only for his father at this moment ~ At first glance, when his parents like himChildren who grow up in loving families feel a little \”miserable\” because they are ignored. However, in fact, their hearts are filled with happiness and pride: they don\’t know what it feels like to have loving parents. , because I thought that was the norm. After seeing many families now, I am really proud to have such parents. (@罗沙) From childhood to adulthood, I grew up surrounded by various displays of affection from my parents. So I firmly believe that I must marry the person I love. And if two people love each other, they will love their common child with the same love. (@锟斤拷人) Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said: The relationship between husband and wife is \”the anchor of the family.\” A child who grows up in a family where his parents love each other feels more secure inside. He knows that his mother will love his father, and his father will love his mother, and at the same time they both love him. The child does not need to worry about adult matters, because the parents have each other to rely on, and he only needs to be a happy child. In the movie \”Sister\’s Keeper\”, there is a touching scene: the girl Kate is suffering from leukemia. For many years, her mother almost gave up everything in order to save her daughter and devoted herself to her daughter. For this reason, the mother ignored her eldest son\’s speech impediment and also ignored her husband. Kate was full of guilt for her family. She stroked the loving photo of her parents and said, \”Dad, I know I took away your favorite. I just hope that one day you can bring her back.\” Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: \”Children I am happy to see my parents love each other, instead of all coming to him to compete for love. If parents love each other, the child will be at ease and be a happy child. Parental love has at least the following benefits for children: Parents love each other, making children more independent and courageous. Lay a substantial sense of security for your child\’s childhood. Help children develop a better outlook on love and marriage, and have the ability to love and be loved. In the movie \”Wonder Boys\”, the protagonist Auggie is a little boy with facial defects. In order to take good care of him, his mother devoted all her efforts. However, what really changed Auggie\’s fate was that when he was 10 years old, his parents sent him to an ordinary school to receive a normal education. Auggie\’s process of adapting to school life is difficult, as is his mother\’s need to be brave enough to let go. His father always stood firmly behind his mother, supporting her and loving her. This not only allowed his mother to cut off the parent-child attachment, but also gave Auggie the courage to achieve true growth. When parents love each other, the motivation of this love, the warmth of the family, and the determination to love without getting involved are the source of strength for children to overcome all difficulties. In a child\’s growth path, the word \”security\” cannot be overemphasized. Psychologist Maslow believes that security is one of the most important factors in determining mental health, and can even be regarded as a synonym for mental health. The source of a child\’s inner sense of security mainly lies in the timely gratification of parents in early life and the stability and harmony of the family. Some time ago, my 8-year-old niece \”ran away from home.\” The reason is: At that time, my sister and brother-in-law were having a fierce argument. My daughter came over and pulled their clothes to persuade them several times, but neither of them stopped. When they finished arguing, they found that their daughter was no longer in the room.Only then did they begin to search anxiously. Fortunately, my sister found her daughter in a park not far from home. The moment he saw his mother, the child threw himself into her arms and cried loudly. When parents are in a marriage pattern of mutual aggression and emotional indifference, the children\’s hearts are filled with intense conflicts and create a strong sense of insecurity. Children who lack a sense of security are more likely to be timid, lack self-confidence, distrust others, and find it difficult to form good interpersonal relationships. There are also children who appear strong on the outside, but are fragile on the inside and are easily defeated by setbacks. When parents love each other, while giving their children a sense of security, their positive attitudes toward love and marriage will also penetrate into their children\’s hearts. Du Jiang and Huo Siyan are a \”model couple\” in the entertainment industry. They are often photographed \”showing affection\” in front of each other. Talking about this matter, \”Big Eyed Dad\” Du Jiang said: Expressing love is actually a kind of ability. In such an environment, it would be very good for children to learn, be influenced, and be willing to express their love and liking more. Family is the first school for children. The best education parents can give their children is to show them the template of happiness, let them believe in love and yearn for a beautiful intimate relationship. Schopenhauer once said this: Anyone who says \”I love you\” must first have a complete word \”I\”. If there is no word \”I\”, \”I love you\” does not exist. When parents fully enjoy themselves in the moment, have inner self-esteem, and enjoy the pursuit of love and happiness, it is easier for children to gain happiness. If you love your children, don’t forget to set aside “couple time.” A few days ago, star mom Hu Ke showed off her affection on Weibo, posting photos of herself and her husband Sha Yi playing at the beach, without two cute babies around them. Anji and Xiaoyuer. Hu Ke wrote: \”You said the happiest thing is holding hands with me and walking on the beach. I said the happiest thing is being in different corners of the house, me drinking coffee and you reading a book…\” Mom is not a superman. When you are exhausted from raising a baby, the time left for love alone nourishes the happiness of the whole family. Pulling the husband into the parenting camp. At the moment the child is born, it is easy for the mother to focus all her attention on the child. At this time, the family relationship pattern also quietly changes. Let go appropriately and create time and opportunities for dad to raise children. Both parties can participate in the contribution to the family, which can not only relax the mother, but also make the husband and wife understand each other and become closer. In the family, couples should present a \”united front\”. In family relationships, the most important principle is that the relationship between husband and wife is higher than the relationship between parents and children. Most families that violate this principle are in deep conflict. Whether it is \”mother-in-law-daughter-in-law conflict\” or the emergence of \”mama\’s baby\”, it is related to the emphasis on the parent-child relationship over the relationship between husband and wife. Cherish the love between husband and wife. Before you go home from get off work and hug your children, please don’t forget to hug your close lover first. As a parent, the most important thing is not what you can teach your children, but how you live your life. On the road of parenting, if you bloom, the breeze will come.