What should you do if your child is rebellious? Put away your seriousness and give your child more love.

Recently I bought a box of experimental materials for Rooney, which contains large and small test tubes, measuring cups, pigments, soda ash, snow-making powder and other materials. He especially likes to play with snow-making powder (a highly water-absorbent resin), pour A small bag of powder is placed in a basin, and when enough water is added, it can expand into a large basin of powder that looks like snowflakes. Last night, he took out the \”snow\” he had made to play with, and spilled a lot of it on the ground. When Mr. Lu saw the mess on the ground, he suddenly became sad and shouted to Rooney to clean it up quickly. I was in the room coaxing Beckham to sleep, and I heard Rooney respond loudly: \”I haven\’t played enough yet!\” \”Stop playing, go take a shower!\” The voices of both of them became louder and louder, and soon I heard I heard Rooney crying: \”I don\’t want to sleep with you tonight! I don\’t want to sleep with you anymore!\” When I put Beckham to sleep and went out to watch, there were still tears on Rooney\’s face. I couldn\’t bear it. Zhu muttered to Mr. Lu: \”What big thing deserves you to be so angry?\” Then he comforted Rooney for a long time before letting him calm down and take a bath. Originally, he had made an appointment to sleep with his father that night, but after such an unpleasant thing happened, Rooney went to sleep with his aunt. I called Mr. Lu into the room and had a long talk. I said: \”Tonight, you really went too far. Rooney just got these experimental materials and was very excited, but you ruined his mood because of this little thing. What does it matter if the powder is spilled? After all, it is the floor Is cleanliness more important or protecting my son\’s good mood and curiosity?\” \”I want him to develop the habit of tidying up things!\” Mr. Lu said unconvinced. \”But, is he willing to listen to your attitude? Have you ever thought about why Rooney is always unwilling to sleep with you? It\’s because you always obsess over these little things and always like to lose your temper. The time you spend with him is actually There are only a few, and the attitude is always like this, okay, I originally agreed to sleep with you today, but now you messed it up again. What you need to focus on now should not be these small things, the most important thing for you is to try your best Establish a close relationship with your son. Only when the relationship is good will he be willing to listen to you.\” I have a basis for saying this. Mr. Lu works far away and often has to work overtime, so he leaves early and comes back late every day, leaving very little time with his children. Mr. Lu is a serious and disciplined person, and he always likes to grab the children\’s little ones when getting along with them. If the child doesn\’t let go of his problems, such as the child not sitting properly when eating, not putting away toys in time after playing, etc., he can\’t help but get angry when he sees it, so he always conflicts with Rooney, especially now that Rooney is older and knows how to argue with reason. Human wars continue all year round. Books say that as a boy, you should have more contact with your father after the age of six, but Mr. Lu\’s attitude made Rooney become more and more distant from him. Originally, this was a matter between the father and son, and I shouldn\’t interfere. However, as a bystander, I clearly saw the problems with this interaction model, and finally couldn\’t help but point it out. I know firsthand that children cannot be disciplined because of damaged relationships. During the winter vacation, because my mother left, I not only had to cook and do housework, but I also had to take care of the food, drink, sleep, play, and study of my two children.I was tired, in a very bad state, and often clashed with Rooney. My relationship with him also reached an unprecedented freezing point. At that time, no matter what I said, Rooney would confront me, and I became increasingly dissatisfied with Rooney. As long as he was dawdling, procrastinating or lazy, I couldn\’t help but criticize him. The more you dilly-dally, procrastinate, or lazily. I suffered from extreme anxiety and frustration. The so-called \”no anger, no enlightenment, no enlightenment\”, it was this parent-child war that made me think about what is most important to me and my children, that is – the parent-child relationship. Writing on the official account, housework, the child\’s temporary mischief and bad habits are not important. During the period when the relationship with the child is most tense, these can be put down and ignored. What I have to do is – at all costs The cost is to reconnect with your children. Therefore, I no longer stay up late writing articles, go to sleep with my children every night, maintain adequate sleep and the best condition every day, put down all business cooperation, put down unhurried housework, and devote myself to accompanying my children wholeheartedly. When Rooney wanted to do some crafts, I would put my brother to sleep, then quickly get up and help him find materials; when Rooney wanted to go out for a bike ride, I would carry my brother behind me with a strap, buy a Mobike and ride with him. Park greenway; Rooney wanted to read a book, so I held my brother in my arms and read picture books to the two brothers; Rooney wanted to go play with friends, so I took him there immediately; Rooney wanted to eat snacks, so I got off immediately Buying real estate… these are things I often did with Rooney before. However, last year, I always refused Rooney on the excuse of being tired because I was taking care of my younger brother and managing the public account. Rooney, who was once loved by millions, was rejected by his mother again and again last year. You can imagine how disappointed and angry he must be. Coupled with his growing age, rebellion is inevitable. When I put everything aside, with infinite patience and tenderness, tried my best to meet his various requirements, and focused on accompanying him, he underwent tremendous changes: he no longer lost his temper, became easy to discuss everything, and his cooperation level increased steadily. . He seemed to be back to the sensible and considerate five-year-old again. At the same time, I also gained peace and happiness in my heart. I no longer demanded too much from him, and I could calmly raise any requests or dissatisfactions I had with him. The relationship between us has entered a virtuous circle. Some time ago, the mother of a classmate encountered the same predicament as me. Her six-year-old daughter was fighting against her every day. She had not taken piano lessons for a long time. She was very anxious, but there was nothing she could do about her daughter. Several times They all dragged her daughter to the door, but her daughter was like crazy. She used all her strength to hold on to the doorknob. Finally, she couldn\’t help but beat her daughter severely. At that time, her daughter was full of tears and full of tears. The hateful look was deeply imprinted in her mind, making her unforgettable for a long time. I told her that if her child really doesn’t want to take piano lessons, she should stop taking piano lessons for a while. The most important thing now is to rebuild the close relationship between you. \”A good relationship is better than a good education.\” Education is only possible when children are in a happy mood, otherwise everything is just playing tricks on others. Yang Jie, a parent-child counselor, once said that a mother consulted her, and her child alwaysWhat should I do if I feel dilly-dally, fearful of difficulties, or tired of learning? After learning in detail about her usual interaction patterns with her children, teacher Yang Jie did not give a positive solution. Instead, she suggested that the mother should stop the extra homework she originally assigned to her children, reduce urging, control emotions, and add interesting tasks. Interact, tell jokes to children, and play some small games with them. After a while, the child actually started to take the initiative to write homework. After the final exam, the class teacher called his mother excitedly and said that the child\’s Chinese, mathematics and foreign language scores were among the top five. The teacher found it incredible. The mother was surprised and said: \”Hey, I haven\’t exerted my strength yet, how can he get better?\” This is the benefit of re-establishing a connection with the child, which can be said to moisturize things silently. Children are born with a desire for good. If the parent-child relationship improves, the child\’s mood will relax, and the mother will no longer be anxious, the child\’s problems of dilly-dallying and being tired of studying will naturally be cured. On the contrary, if we only focus on these problems of the child, try to correct him as soon as possible, and have a tug-of-war with the child every day, and the child is thinking about how to fight against you every day, how can he calm down and study? When your child is full of problems and faults in your eyes, you should be wary of whether there is a problem in the relationship between you. What you have to do at this time is not to correct the child, but to try your best to make things right with the child. relation. Wilde, one of the greatest British writers and artists, once said: \”The best way to make children well-behaved is to make them happy. And most adults in this society are surprisingly stingy when it comes to making children happy. .\” Based on my personal experience, I advise all parents who are at war with their children to put away your seriousness and stinginess and give your children more tolerance and love! The younger the child is, the easier it is for the relationship to be restored. Don\’t wait until the child starts to seek support and help from the Internet, friends around him and people in society when the child reaches adolescence, and then we regret not being the most trustworthy and reliable person for the child.