Please be prepared, children will always embarrass us…

What do you worry about most every time you take your children out? Is the child not eating well, not getting enough sleep, or not having enough fun? If you really think so, I can only say, dear, your child is still too young to be a big monster. Yelling in restaurants, crying in shopping malls, and acting out in playgrounds are the things that really scare us. \”Thanks to him\” became the focus of the crowd, and was looked at meaningfully by friends or strangers around them. They seemed to be lamenting \”another naughty child\” and \”another pair of parents who don\’t know how to teach their children\”. I really wanted to immediately Invisible, immediately escaped to the ground, the world shifted in an instant, and went home. No matter how big his face is, it\’s not enough for him to help you lose him. Any similarity between the following plots is purely normal. Tianya Fengqiang: Picking up cakes on the ground and eating them. There was a child in kindergarten celebrating his birthday. After eating the cake, my 3-year-old daughter was licking the cake plate. I took a screenshot and sent it to her father, jokingly saying: \”Why does it feel like I haven\’t eaten it before?\” \”But it didn\’t matter. Later, the children had cleared the table and found my daughter squatting on the ground, wiping a piece of cake that fell on the ground and stuffing it into her mouth. Feifei and Feifei: The noise-making machine on the plane went back to my hometown for the Chinese New Year, and I took my two treasures with me on the plane. Along the way, because it was their first time to fly, the two little guys were so excited that they could not control their voices and refused to stop no matter how much they tried to persuade them! Occasionally, they would say a few \”unlucky\” words, which scared me so much that I quickly covered their mouths. During the two-hour flight, all the stewardesses and passengers looked at me from time to time. It really embarrassed me. I had to keep saying sorry to them. Children are not sensible. As soon as the plane landed, I dragged two The child ran away in despair! Bits and pieces: I took Dian Dian out to play on the weekend and found a restaurant for lunch. The decoration of this restaurant is relatively bourgeois and artistic, and there are many gadgets inside. As soon as he entered the door, Dot\’s eyes kept looking at the boss\’s various treasures, grabbing them by force without stopping for a moment. If he doesn\’t give it to her, he will cry, make a fuss, and act recklessly. The originally quiet and elegant environment is completely destroyed by her. Whether it was the look in the eyes of the diners or the waiters, my face, which had never been red, turned red completely, and I was probably labeled as uneducated! Sichuan Mom: I often take Xiaochuan anonymously to participate in our Pan dental exam camp activities. . Once, I went to the outskirts of Beijing to watch birds. It had just rained and there were puddles everywhere. As he ran, he looked for puddles to jump into. Forget it like this, what really caught me off guard was that he actually said dirty words: \”**, my shoes are wet, my shoes are wet!\” I was completely stupid for a second: \”Our family has never When people say this, where did they learn it from?\” When I reacted, the eyes of the parents and children who were traveling with me had already glanced over. It was really embarrassing. A classmate next to me asked my mother strangely: \”Xiaochuan, his shoes are wet, why are you swearing?\” It made me feel even more ashamed. With all these humiliating and embarrassing things, do you want to become invisible immediately, explode on the spot, scold him, and beat him up to quell the anger in your heart? Before, I did explode, got angry, and even said something particularly outrageous: \”Why are you doing this! Do you know it\’s embarrassing! How did I teach you! How could I have done this?\”Such a son like you! …\” But later, once, Xiaochuan asked me pitifully: \”Mom, don\’t you like me to be your son? \”I suddenly realized that I had done something wrong. A child is a child, and his growth is a process of trial and error and correction. There is no born perfect baby, and we have to allow him to make mistakes, even in places and places that make us embarrassed. moment. Some mistakes are not even within our control. Just like the curse word Ogawa heard from nowhere, and I never heard him say it at home, but suddenly it came out of his mouth when he was outside. But no matter what, we We should all manage our own emotions and not vividly demonstrate what “low emotional intelligence” means in front of our children. We must be calm and lead by example, and only then can we tell our children that no matter what situation they encounter, they must restrain and manage their emotions. Moreover, when We are so busy venting our anger because of the humiliation that we often just teach our children about their behavior and often ignore the root cause of their children\’s problems. Why does Xiaochuan say dirty words? Where did he hear it? He really understands that sentence Do you mean what you said? Or is it to attract other people\’s attention? Only by discovering the root cause can we prescribe the right medicine and truly correct the child\’s bad behavior, rather than relying on threats and beatings to stop it. Tell him that he can gain the respect of others by saying dirty words. Paying attention is the stupidest choice. Saying that he has embarrassed us ignores the root cause and actually sends a signal to him: we are his \”god\”, and the standard for judging his right or wrong is our feelings. But we We don’t want our children to become “puppets” who act based on our faces. He should have his own sense of right and wrong and independent judgment. He should know that the reason why he was wrong was not because he lost my face, but because Swearing is uncivilized and wrong. If we scold him in public, we will push him away emotionally and stand on his opposite side. He will feel abandoned and isolated. As the person closest to him, Even if he makes a mistake, we should stand with him, face mistakes and solve problems together. Of course, no matter what, we will feel that the child has shamed us, but fundamentally the child has done something wrong, and we must be serious , severely criticize education. Otherwise, it’s time to raise “naughty children”. However, we should not let the bad emotions of anger and shame take away our reason, and we must stay calm. Perhaps, we can do this: use a short Simply put, remind your children in a low voice to pay attention to their behavior: “This is a public place, keep quiet. \”Distract attention. If the child still continues to be noisy, you can try to take out toys to attract his attention. Use suggestions instead of blame. Punishment may sometimes trigger greater resistance in children, especially in public places. At this time, Order the child “Don’t run! \”, it is better to suggest to him, \”Let\’s see what fun things are here.\” Ignore. When a child deliberately uses swear words to attract our attention, the best response at this time is to ignore him. Of course, this is not easy. I really can\’t bear it. You can tell him briefly and forcefully: \”It is wrong to say such things! \”Explain it to him in detail afterwards and try not to take it too seriously.\”I will tell him one by one, this will suit his little idea. Don\’t let your children apologize. Don\’t just order your child to apologize before you figure out the reason. Sometimes, we can apologize on behalf of the child first, and then decide whether or not the child should apologize after figuring out the reason. By doing this, the child will truly apologize from the heart, and it will also let the child understand that we will always be with him, and even if he makes a mistake, we will face it and make up for it with him. All in all, in short, the healthy growth of children and a good and stable parent-child relationship are much more important than our face.