In intergenerational education, who is the most suitable person to take care of children?

In fact, it is really difficult to write about intergenerational education. Because if you are not careful, some elderly people will be hurt. For example, I take a walk in the neighborhood. I often encounter a grandma holding or pushing her little granddaughter. The girl should be only half a year old. Once I followed them cautiously. I heard the child in front of me yelling \”Wow wow wow wow.\” Grandma walked forward gently and asked the baby with a smile. \”What\’s wrong with you! Did you see something interesting?\” Then the baby was jumping around excitedly. That scene was really heartwarming. A kind grandma, a happy child. This is what we often hope to see. So you say that such old people cannot take care of their children well, and that intergenerational education is not good. I think the old man will be very sad when he hears this. However, mothers have been leaving me messages telling me about the troubles of intergenerational education in their families. In intergenerational education, it is divided into raising children together. The parents go to work and the elderly take care of them. The parents take care of themselves when they get home from get off work, and the elderly play a supporting role. There is also a situation where the elderly take the children away from their parents and shoulder all the responsibilities for their upbringing. The problems caused by the latter will obviously be higher than those by the former. Therefore, when mothers ask me: \”Can the child be taken back to the elderly?\” my answer is always: Unless it is a last resort, it is better to keep the child with you. \”What about taking the old man over to take care of the child?\” \”If you can take care of the child, you should take care of it yourself. If there is no other way, look at the old man\’s wish and see if it is suitable.\” Because the old man helps to take care of the child, there are always some problems. You can\’t imagine. I was chatting with a mother some time ago. She said she almost collapsed. Because the mother-in-law was afraid that the young couple would not be able to take care of the children, she had to stay and take care of them. Or take the child back. After careful consideration, she still let her mother-in-law stay, not wanting her two-year-old child to leave her. Especially after the children got older, the problems faced by her mother-in-law made her more determined to take care of them herself. When children are a few months old, they mainly need adults to take care of them, eat and drink them, coax them to sleep and play with them. At that time, my mother-in-law was very experienced and could really help a lot. But when the child is almost two years old, no matter what he wants, grandma will immediately satisfy him. So when he sees his mother, he will ask for her mobile phone to play with. The old man also said to the side, \”Xiaobao is so smart. He can unlock the phone at such a young age and can also click on it.\” If she didn\’t give it, his son would cry and make a fuss. At this time, grandma will scold: \”It\’s okay if you just let him play with it! Children nowadays all play with it.\” Then she will hand her mobile phone to her grandson. \”It\’s just that my mobile phone is not fun and he doesn\’t like it.\” Therefore, she saw that the child had more and more bad habits and was spoiled by her grandma. She pulls her hair when she sees her brothers and sisters, and her grandma cheers for Xiaobao’s strength. He also said that the elder brother and sister had to leave the younger brother behind. Sometimes the son looks at himself and then at his grandma. After getting his grandma\’s approval, his little hands started to slap his brothers and sisters in the face. There is a reality that must be clearly understood. In intergenerational education, not every elderly person is suitable to take care of children. In other words, it does not mean that children can be competent at every stage of their growth. For example, if some elderly people are physically unable to bear the burden, then they certainly cannot sacrifice their health to take care of their children. Or an old man can take care of four or five children. Do you think he can take care of them?are you coming? There is also a situation where the elderly are not adaptable and are unhappy every day. This kind of situation cannot raise children well. Another is bad temper. Mood swings can affect children\’s emotional development. Some extreme emotions can even affect children\’s psychological development. When I took my children to play in the park a few days ago. Suddenly, she heard an old man on the roadside yelling fiercely: \”Come here quickly, don\’t come here yet! I count to three.\” She shouted almost hysterically towards two five or six-year-old boys. Two children were climbing on the low railing of the fountain. \”Don\’t come here yet! Hurry up! You idiot, you don\’t listen! You didn\’t see the danger!\” He cursed while still holding his mobile phone. One of the children came over obediently. At this time, the old man\’s anger became a little smoother. But it’s not like he’s still scolding the children. The child who was scolded remained silent and kept his head lowered. Later, I took my son to play with the robot car in the square. The kid just kept following. I reminded him: \”Kids, don\’t get too close, it\’s dangerous!\” Unexpectedly, when the child heard what I said, he immediately lowered his head, as if he had done something wrong. \”It doesn\’t matter! I\’m afraid you will be hit.\” But he still stood there timidly. Just like when I was scolded by my grandma. Therefore, when the elderly are not suitable to take care of children. Then be sure to be prepared to bring it yourself. If for various reasons, the elderly must help take care of the children. I would like to give you some suggestions: In a family, everyone must find their own position, have a clear division of labor, and work together. For example, the elderly are only positioned as helpers, not all-inclusive. The responsibility of educating children still lies with their parents. Parents must also work hard to shoulder this responsibility, and cannot just leave their children to the elderly and ignore them. Therefore, when parents are disciplining their children, they cannot interfere or even sing the opposite tune. I remember when my son was almost two years old, he was at his grandma’s house. When eating, I just sit by myself and wait for grandma to feed me. I told him to learn to eat on his own, because he would also eat on his own, so why should he feed me? At this time, the son glanced at his grandma. Then my mother answered: \”It\’s okay after feeding him once. Look at other people\’s homes. They don\’t want to feed him, and they still chase him. Your son is fine. He can sit and eat obediently.\” \”There are still things I can do. You have to make it yourself.\” \”Are you afraid that he won\’t be able to eat on his own in the future? Didn\’t you have to feed him when you were a child.\” At this point, I basically couldn\’t go on. I just waited for her to finish feeding her. Then I had a good talk with her: \”When I discipline him, can you not say anything and let me make the decision? Because if you do this, he won\’t listen to my words. And the rules set are useless. How can I set rules in the future?\” ?\” At this time, my mother may think that what I said makes sense. Then he held back his words. Sometimes when I see me punishing my children, I want to intervene. I asked her to go to another room and watch TV first and leave this place alone. In fact, first draw these boundaries and clarify responsibilities. It will save a lot of trouble. The second is to respect the children\’s parents. In many families, especially those of new parents. I just had a baby and I barely know how to take care of it. So the old man came to help from the beginning. for young dadMom preaches and learns karma to resolve doubts. However, if the child\’s father has not become independent himself, psychologically he is still grandma\’s good baby. There will be problems in this family. Because it is equivalent to raising an extra \”child\” for the elderly. But it will be particularly uncomfortable for the child\’s mother to be caught in the middle. Because she wants to be her own master and the master of her children. But in the end, everything had to be listened to by the old man. So there is a confrontation in the concept of parenting. You said not to give salt to your baby because it accelerates calcium loss. But the old man said that the child must eat salt so that the child can have strength. in this delicate relationship field. The more independent and mature the child\’s parents are, the better they can handle this relationship. Therefore, young parents should study hard and be qualified parents. And the elderly should also give new parents time to grow up. Never say anything bad about a child\’s parents in front of his or her child. I found that many old people like to joke: \”What a bad mother, why don\’t you come back to play with your baby after working so late.\” A joke can easily make children take it seriously. Why can\’t we say: \”Mom is really hard-working. When the baby grows up, he will give his mother a beating on his shoulders.\” One produces hatred, and the other produces love. All in one thought. If a child hates his parents. That will only push your parents away and get closer to the old person who takes care of you. But the next education for children may not be enough for the elderly. At that time, my parents could not integrate. Because there is a gap between children and their parents, they will not listen to their parents\’ instructions. Remember that the elderly only help take care of the children. The important task of educating the children is still the parents who brought them into this world, and no one can replace them. The third is to respect and understand the elderly’s thoughts and wishes. Because the elderly have their own lives. Many people work hard all their lives and always say they can take a good rest when they get old. But the result is even more tiring. In fact, many elderly people are willing to communicate. I am just afraid that the prejudice will be too deep and the path of communication will be blocked. A friend told me last time that my mother was angry and crying many times while taking care of her children at her brother\’s house. One time it was because the child accidentally fell off the bed. At that time, both parents passed by and hugged the child distressedly. And the father yelled at grandma, telling her how she looked at the child. Seeing my son\’s attitude. The more the old man thought about it, the more aggrieved he became. Because his grandson is also his treasure, and if he falls, he will feel more distressed than anyone else. But you still have to be scolded. Although the son later apologized. But I still felt aggrieved. I originally had a leisurely job, where I could freely chat, buy groceries, and play cards with my friends. Now I just take care of my baby every day. It seems only natural that he should take care of his own grandson. But how many people understand loneliness and grievance? There are also many accusations that the elderly lie, play with mobile phones, and lose their temper. In fact, we don’t have these problems. Be as tolerant as possible towards the shortcomings of the elderly. As mentioned above, if it is not suitable, then find a way to bring it yourself and talk nicely. No matter what, treat the old man who takes care of your children well. If you ask, is there the best solution for intergenerational education in the world? I don\’t think so. Before giving birth, you must think carefully. Especially those who have several children but cannot afford to raise them well. Approach childbirth with a mindset of casting a wide net. The result is really harming these children. Jewish parents never give their childrenWhen it comes to raising children, they think that if you want to have a child, you must have thought deeply, carefully, and thoroughly, and then you must know how to balance the conflict between work and raising children. Therefore, you still have to take care of your children by yourself, or at least participate in your children\’s education as your own. Think about it, there is always a way.