Congratulations, your child has started to say \”no\” to you

A few days ago, I received messages from several mothers in my mailbox. A mother said that her child, who was more than 3 years old, suddenly seemed to have changed. The son who used to be obedient and well-behaved is gone. Now, no matter what his mother says, he always likes to say \”no\” to ask him to eat, and he just says, \”I don\’t want to eat.\” I asked him to wear pants, but he just ran around the living room with his butt naked, saying that I don’t wear pants. I asked him to drink water, but he refused to drink. No matter what you do, you need to coax it for a while. Another mother said that her child is only 1 year and 10 months old. She used to be willing to share things with others, but recently she seems to have become more thoughtful. She says no to anything. Once a child touches her toys, she says, \”No! No,\” and then bursts into tears. , sometimes I really feel like I’ve offended someone, and I don’t know what to do. When I saw these questions, I remembered that I had just become a father at that time. Once while chatting with a colleague, I said that the boy in my family has been very rebellious recently. The colleague laughed and said, \”Your son is only two years old and he is rebellious!?\” He found it incredible. He wasn\’t a father at that time. So I felt like I couldn\’t explain it to him, so I stopped talking. Later, when he became a father, he once said to me on the phone: \”What should I do! My son is only over 1 year old, he is disobedient, and always goes against us!\” Poor parents in the world, but they become anxious after becoming a parent. Heart-to-heart. In fact, children will enter their first rebellious period when they are 1-3 years old. From this moment on, the child begins to get involved in the conflict between his own wishes and his parents\’ wishes. I especially enjoy observing babies. Especially those children who seem to be unable to move around for a few months. Sometimes it looks really \”dumb\”. In fact, their hearts have long been full of curiosity and impulse about the world. It\’s just that their bodies are still too weak to support themselves in taking risks. They can only react passively and cannot take active action. As they grow older, what they desire most is to be able to make their own decisions. Having your own intentions, trying to get rid of the constraints of the external world, trying to show your own strength. Especially when children discover the power of language, they will like to say \”no\” and \”no\” very much. Because this allows you to get rid of control and express your wishes. So from a child psychology perspective. It\’s a good thing that your child is starting to say \”no\” to you. Because this is growth. On the contrary, parents are sometimes overwhelmed and don’t know what to do? When your child says no, please remember to accept rather than pressure your child into complying. When I say \”accept\”, some parents will definitely say, \”Is it necessary to accept the child even if he says he doesn\’t want to wear clothes?\” Of course not, this acceptance is a characteristic of the growth stage of accepting children from the heart. Once you have this understanding, you won\’t get angry anymore. You can communicate with your children calmly. For example, Xiao Xiaoyu sometimes goes against us. \”I won\’t eat this dish!\” \”Okay, if you don\’t want to eat it, then I won\’t eat it. You can eat other food.\” \”I won\’t eat the other food either!\” Then don\’t eat it yet. Follow the rules and put away the dishes when the time comes. Of course, I strictly enforce this rule. And what about mom? I will give a little reminder on the side (not negative, because parents want to unite the front) but just remind me that I will be hungry at night, what should I do? Will the elf in his belly be angry if prompted? The whole process isDon\’t lose your temper. You can express your attitude and say no to me. What I want to do is communicate with you peacefully. In such a relationship, children will not be suppressed by the authority of their parents. You must know that good education is by no means forced, but guided. Sometimes, I ask Xiao Xiaoyu to come over and help pick vegetables. There were times when he said no. I would ask him why? \”I don\’t know how!\” \”Come on, daddy will teach you!\” \”I don\’t want to do it!\” \”But daddy needs your help now.\” In fact, he is really afraid that he can\’t do it well and doesn\’t know how to do it. So I chose to teach him patiently. If you persist in this way and learn it, children who experience the joy of success will not be able to say no casually. I remember once, a mother said that she regretted that her son in middle school could not do any housework. The reason is that I feel that he is not doing well and is causing trouble. For example, once when he was washing dishes, he spilled the dishwater on the floor and got his sleeves wet. My mother was very angry at that time. \”You can\’t do anything well, you have to do everything with me and your sister!\” After hearing this, he felt at ease. Because it would be nice to have a sister to do it. If the mother had patiently said, \”Come on, mommy will teach you, you have to roll up your sleeves and be careful about the floor. Come on next time! Do a great job!\” The child would feel differently at this time. He will feel that he can do this well. Please remember to develop your children\’s independence and allow them to control their own world. I have always wanted to try to see how wide my limits of rights can be. We can try it within the confines of safety. One time I came home from a spring outing. Xiao Xiaoyu went home with a classmate. Because the classmate’s mother has to go to work in the afternoon, the child can only be brought to the company. And we just have a lot of time in the afternoon. At that time, the teacher suggested that you can visit each other as guests! Face our invitation. Unexpectedly, the classmate\’s mother said: \”If you want to go, go ahead. This is also a good test!\” So, the two friends took an important step in their growth that day. One is visiting a classmate\’s home alone, and the other is inviting a classmate to his home for the first time. That day, they played freely. And I have been busy cooking for them. I previously arranged an area for the little fish at home. Designed specifically for children to place their own things. This will actually develop children\’s autonomy. He would share with his classmates, but sometimes they would argue. He said that he couldn\’t play with him. When your child says they won’t share, you have to understand that it’s not selfish! Swiss child psychologist Jean Piaget came to the conclusion after observation: Children aged 0 to 6 years old focus almost all their enthusiasm and attention on self-construction. It is precisely because of this kind of passion and full investment that children can form themselves and step out of themselves, and create the creativity, happiness, independence, and willpower we expect. The growth process of children is a process of self-construction. In this construction process, children initially distinguish themselves from others by possessing things that belong to themselves. Only when a child possesses his own things, and when this thing completely belongs to him, can he feel the existence of \”I\”, and this is also the birth sign of the child\’s self. Once the children\’sWhen self-awareness forms, we will begin to divide what is yours and what is mine. This is actually a very important stage. If not respected. The child\’s behavior will deviate and become disordered. For example, I often meet a child. He was thirsty at the playground and asked for water from other children\’s water bottles. But he won\’t say. And when a grandma feeds her grandson. He also opened his mouth and clamored to eat. There is no sense of property rights in his world. I feel like these can be obtained casually. Some people may think this is nothing and seems bold. In fact, the harm is greater. Before letting children learn to share, they must first let them own it. And don’t accuse your child of being stingy when he takes care of his belongings. For example, Xiao Xiaoyu is going to participate in a charity sale recently and needs to prepare 10 things. He searched for it at home for a long time and was a little reluctant to part with it. Mom said he was a bit stingy! I said it\’s okay! If you think about it carefully, you can always find it out. In the end, he reluctantly gave up and made his own decision. Every day we say that we must respect our children and love them well. Then take a look, how do you feel when your child says no? This is definitely a test and will give you an answer.