How to raise a boy at home and feel more secure inside

Many of our boys are suffering in silence. The reason this is so harmful is due to the prejudices of adults. For example, you will often hear such words: \”A man is still crying, so embarrassed!\” \”I have never seen you so stingy when you give toys to your sister. A man must be generous, you know?\” There is also a very lethal sentence. Common words. \”Why are boys so timid?\” A mother left a message a few days ago and said, \”Why is my little boy timid than the girl? The child is like a little Tyrannosaurus rex at home, but when he is outside, he is like a little mouse. For example When I meet the uncle and aunt next door outside, I ask him to scream and hide immediately, which is very embarrassing. Because the little girl next door is one year older than him and has a sweet mouth. Every time my father wants to push his pussy. He would also reprimand him: \’You have no manners at all, do you act like a boy? Why are you so cowardly?\’ After saying a few words, my son\’s big tears rolled out. \”I really don\’t know what to do. . \”There are also mothers who say that they are fine raising their children at home. But sometimes they have to leave their children at grandma\’s house because of something else. The children will make trouble and say they want to find their mother. The three-year-old son can\’t live without his mother. Sometimes grandma Just ask him if he still wants to drink milk and always look for his mother. He is really a coward. The child is even more angry. Why is the child like this? Maybe it has something to do with the child\’s inner sense of security, rather than being timid as you said. Security is The background of life deeply affects everyone\’s state of existence. The core of security is often formed at a very young age. For example, after giving infants and young children close attachment and love. Children are safe as they grow. The most important thing for the formation of feelings should be: respect. Because of being respected, children will identify themselves and have enough sense of security. Many parents think that they respect their children and love them so much. So they are eager to help their children. I hope Your child can become a social master and be polite and generous. However, when your child doesn’t say hello, have you considered your child’s feelings? You may be familiar with your neighbor, but to your child, that person may be a complete stranger. . If you have really had a party or played together. If you have the right personality, you will greet me happily without saying anything when you meet. Of course, at this point, the boys\’ performance is particularly inferior. Because Boys\’ mouths are often \”stupid\” than girls\’. If your child gets into trouble or hesitates, don\’t rush to blame and ridicule the child. Instead, remember to replace ridicule with encouragement and respect. If you want to find a way to test your child\’s sense of security . Then try to see how he will behave when he leaves your side. Some time ago, because of something going on in his hometown, Xiao Xiaoyu could only stay alone with his grandma for three to five days. For the first time, we were a little worried. . But when I saw his energy in the video, it didn’t matter at all, but we were alone for a while. \”Alas! It seems he is quite happy without us around! \”I still remember the first day I sent him to kindergarten. Because I took him to school at home until he was 4 years old. When I went to kindergarten, he went directly to the middle class. The children in the class were already old students, and they were very close to each other. Very familiar too. And his integration is equivalent to joining the class. We will also have a little worry in our hearts. On the first day in the park, we were paying the fees. He had already held the teacher\’s hand and walked around the campus again. I said, \”You will officially start school tomorrow, are you afraid?\” \”No!\” \”That\’s good! Mom and Dad believe you can become an excellent kindergarten friend.\” I sent him to the classroom the next day and talked with him He said, \”Dad will pick you up when you are out of school. Don\’t worry, have fun!\” I wanted to give him a hug, but he went in without looking back. Later, in the surveillance area on the first floor, I watched the little figures on the screen with several mothers. And my mother was secretly wiping her tears. The most important separation between him and us passed peacefully like this. Children will leave us one day, what will they take with them? If they have the sense of security given by their parents in their hearts, they will step out firmly and bravely. It seems that they are just expanding the scope of safety little by little, extending it to environments outside the family and beyond their parents. This way, the child won\’t always look back to mom. I won’t rush home. Because he doesn\’t need to be afraid that his mother will be lost, but believes that she will be by his side as long as I need her. Even if your parents are not around, they can always be with you in your heart. Of course, when you plan to let your child enter a new environment, you must make good arrangements with your child. And it is best to take your children to experience it yourself and establish a familiar feeling with the new environment. For example, if you are a new student, please let your child see the good relationship between you and the teacher to make him feel at ease. Also discuss everything about this new environment with him. Don\’t let your children wander into a strange place when you are absent. If you are raising a boy, it really takes a lot more patience. Because they have some special ways of establishing a sense of security. Here are some suggestions for you. Start by giving him plenty of skin-to-skin contact and cuddles. I used to think that it was enough to have enough skin-to-skin contact with my children before they were two years old. For example, pet them often after bathing to help them relax. Or cheek by cheek, or arching the head, touching the forehead! Now that Xiao Xiaoyu is almost 5 years old, he still likes skin-to-skin contact. For example, when he sees me coming home or when I am standing in front of him, he immediately jumps up and talks about climbing a tree. After telling him a story in the evening, I kissed him unexpectedly before falling asleep. We also take baths together. Of course, the most annoying thing is that he often pretends to be asleep in the car and then comes to me for a hug. I often carry him home from the underground garage. Don\’t think you have to be serious about raising a boy. In fact, boys are also very sensitive, and they may go crazy when playing. But what about inside? There are a lot of little secrets you need to be aware of. Allow him to be a little naughty. Many people get a headache when talking about boys because they are so naughty. But I want to say: \”If a boy is not naughty, he is not a normal child.\” Boys often build their own sense of security in the process of being naughty. For example, we will definitely not let children use knives alone. But how to make children understand? Just saying no, it won\’t work, is far less effective than letting him see it. I remember that I let him see me when I was chopping vegetables.I learned how sharp the knife was and even showed him the scar on my finger. Tell him to use it alone when he grows up. In the real process of raising children, many boys become timid. One reason is that parents tell their children too much about how to do it, but they don’t tell their children what to do. I remember taking my children to play in the park at that time. Oftentimes, a grandma will take her child with her. When she sees that the child is still climbing, the grandma will panic and say, \”It will fall! Your mother will scold you!\” If the child goes a little further, she will say that it will be lost. When a child fights with another child for a toy, he or she will say, \”Good children don\’t fight.\” When other children invite you to play together, pull away quickly for fear that your child will be bullied. The insecure mentality of adults directly makes children feel unsafe. Over time, the child becomes submissive. Allow children to express their anger. If a little boy is having a tantrum. I often observe their demeanor, and of course I am more concerned about the behavior of my parents. Many times, children lose their temper to express their true intentions, even if they seem a little willful. But at least it\’s also true willfulness. Especially after children gain self-awareness, they will have constant conflicts with their parents. What we need to do is not to combat emotional expression, but to resolve this willful and unreasonable demand when accepting emotions. When parents can accept their children, they can express their true selves and their children will feel secure enough to live out their lives. Only in a tolerant environment can children fully develop their complete selves.