Three effective ways for parents to communicate with their children revealed

One day you want to talk to your child and say, \”Baby, come here for a moment.\” The child will agree and run over happily, or after urging him several times, he will come over reluctantly with a frown on his face. The second type of child is thinking: What did I do wrong this time? He was fed up with our long-term “lecturing and criticism” of him. Once \”summoned\” by my parents, I subconsciously resent it. Such children will not take the initiative to talk to their parents even if something happens to them. In modern social life, everyone has independent value, but it is difficult to truly \”non-judge\” the lives of others. Especially for children who are \”inexperienced in the world\”, we are always uneasy and try hard to reason until we are exhausted. Eight-year-old Haohao said to his mother: \”Why do you give me such a long answer every time I ask you a small question?\” He also said to his friend: \”My mother is very long-winded. What if I If you tell her, I won\’t have time to play.\” Our long talks with our children are usually a \”one-man show\” by one person. No matter how excited we say it, the other party will be indifferent. Sometimes we really suspect that we are talking to a wall. Often children only hear the meaning \”My mother agrees\”, usually \”I don\’t agree with me doing this\”, and then their thoughts wander and their minds wander. Preaching and criticism make the dialogue between children and parents like \”two trains running on parallel lines\” and they will never intersect. So what can we do to get our children to take the initiative to \”open up\” to us? I think we can start every time a child takes the initiative to talk about a certain topic, seize these opportunities, and build a trusting and safe parent-child relationship bit by bit. The first step in an equal parent-child communication that can bring positive effects is to \”point out the child\’s emotions.\” School started, and my cousin who had been here for the summer vacation was going back to school. Jingjing was very sad and hid in her room crying for a long time. What his mother can do at this time is to help him express his feelings: \”You are very lonely without your sister\”, \”You miss her very much now\”, \”You guys had a lot of fun, it is painful to be separated\”. …Children’s ability to express is very limited, and sometimes it is difficult to “tell what they feel”. We can make a mirror, reflect the image exactly as it is, and tell their status. Think about it, it\’s the same for us adults. When we are sad and in pain, there is nothing more comforting than the other person\’s listening and understanding. Stay with the child and wait for the child\’s emotional whirlpool to pass. Once a child feels understood and accepted, he or she will have the strength to face reality in the next step. Through good interactions with us time and time again, children gradually build trust and security. They began to like chatting with us and took the initiative to chat with us. But the adult world is always complicated. Every day we seem to have endless chores to do and various emergencies to deal with. Sometimes my daughter comes running over excitedly, eager to tell me something “important”. I might be doing housework at that time and couldn\’t get away for a while, or I might be in a bad mood and just wanted to be alone for a while. But looking at her anxious and red face, I really couldn\’t bear to refuse. I can only force myself up,Pretending to be interested. In fact, I knew it very clearly in my heart – I was perfunctory with her. At this time, it is better to slow down your breathing, face the real \”I\” feelings, and tell the truth to your child: \”I know you really want to chat with your mother, but because of her, she wants to stay alone for a while. This is not your fault. . Can I come back to you in half an hour?” The child will easily accept this arrangement. Many times, we really can’t “pretend” to be interested in every topic our children talk about. But \”stop, smile, respond once or twice\”, through these few simple actions, our sincerity can be perceived. By doing this, the child can get the same confirmation in his mind that his thoughts are important to you, and that is enough. \”Listening to children\” does not require much skill. It is very simple and only requires a little bit of \”patience\” on our part. Once a child is in a \”safe conversation\” environment, he will be more than willing to talk. In the next step, parents can guide their children to \”think constructively\” during the conversation. If a child fails to perform well in a test, the parents\’ first reaction is \”Why didn\’t he do well?\”, and the child will subconsciously look for reasons. All the process of finding reasons will only make children fall into the negative emotion of \”I am not good\” and develop the thinking habit of escaping responsibility. And \”constructive thinking\” is \”How do you think you can do well in the next exam?\” The child starts to use his brain and actively think of ways. What\’s more valuable is that he will feel: I can change my situation through my own efforts. This beautiful feeling full of hope made him willing to implement the plan and make changes. These three great tips for parent-child communication are not instant magic pills. We also need to practice it regularly and consciously in our daily lives. Gradually, we will find that conversations with our children are more efficient, and the parent-child relationship will become closer.