The 4-year-old child said, \”So what if I hit you!\” Who brought up the child?

I have a friend who is a primary school teacher. He said that his mother would ask him every now and then. \”My child is being led astray by his peers, what should I do?\” \”My child is being led astray by the Internet and ruined by mobile games.\” But who is really leading the child? A few days ago a mother told me about her own experience. That time she took her 4-year-old son to play in the sand in the play area. When my son was building a sand castle. A boy about his age suddenly ran over and threw sand on his son\’s head. Some of it got into his clothes along his neck. At that time, the son quickly shook it to get rid of the sand. Unexpectedly, sand was thrown into the child\’s eyes. At this time, the child covered his eyes and screamed, while shaking his fist at his son angrily. He also said loudly: \”I\’m going to beat you to death!\” Out of instinctive defense, his son pushed him back right there. The boy\’s mother ran over and looked anxiously at the child\’s condition. Then without saying a word, he grabbed a handful of sand and said to the boy, \”Go and throw him away as you want.\” The son stood there in confusion, not knowing what to do. At this time, she hurried over and wanted to explain the situation to the mother. Unexpectedly, the mother yelled first, \”You can\’t educate such a big child well. What\’s there to say about throwing sand in other people\’s eyes?\” Her expression was ferocious and angry. At this time, the four-year-old child imitated his mother and said, \”What if I hit you? Who told you to put sand in my eyes?\” Sand was thrown at him first, and he was beaten in the end. The son cried in grievance. But seeing that the unreasonable mother did no great harm to the child, she did not continue the argument. I don\’t know how to explain this to my children. It makes me feel uncomfortable just thinking about it. There are too many parents like this nowadays. When something happens, he is indiscriminate and thinks that protecting his children is the first priority. Some parents even beat another child in front of their own children. At the moment of action, do you know what the child was thinking? In fact, they are just physical collisions or fights between children. But the message sent by parents’ behavior to their children is not to protect themselves. Instead, you can use violence to solve problems and bully others. You don\’t have to be unreasonable, as long as you have a loud voice and a arrogant attitude, you can achieve your goal. There is a high probability that such children will eventually become naughty children and bully other children. Who brought up the child? Many parents also say that their children love to surf the Internet and play games, and feel that these game companies are to blame. For example, the previously popular King of Glory, the current \”Eat Chicken\”, and the popular Douyin. There were endless yelling and scolding voices, saying that the child was being brought up badly. When shifting the responsibility to game companies, why not ask who gave the phone to the child, and who allowed the child to spend time and become addicted step by step? If you give your child a mobile phone and he learns to surf the Internet without browsing messy web pages, he is not a normal child. Because children’s curiosity drives them to surf around. In addition, if you type a few sensitive words on a search engine, pornographic and violent information will fill the screen. If you put a lot of games in front of him to play, he won’t play them, and he won’tis a normal child. Maybe, you really misunderstood these games and entertainment methods. Let them take the blame for their parents\’ negligence. When you are laughing and watching TV series, you tell your children that they can’t watch TV all the time! While you are addicted to mobile games, you tell your children not to play games! While scrolling through Douyin, I told my children not to watch useless videos all the time! I have never put any effort into my children’s studies, but I hope my children will get high marks in exams. I feel that this is what children should do, but it doesn\’t matter what I should do. When a child asks one day: \”Why can you watch TV, look at your mobile phone, and play outside all day long, but I can\’t?\” \”I am an adult, I can do it, but you are a child and you still need to go to school. I haven’t grown up.” This reason is simply impeccable. But, as an adult, you don’t have to study? Are you an adult and can you give up growing up? Children will think, I just want to be like you. Finally, the child truly becomes the image of his parents. If you take him to play outside, take him to read, take him to play parent-child games and do crafts. Will he be addicted to mobile games and spend time in this form of entertainment? So, don’t blame others for bringing up your children. In fact, the answer lies with you. If you simply can\’t do it yourself. Just don\’t ask for children. There is a saying that behind every naughty child, there must be a naughty parent. what to do? Parents must let their children have rules and have the authority to enforce these rules. Take mobile games as an example. I also play mobile games and download some game apps. Seeing the dazzling array of game apps, Xiao Xiaoyu is often excited. But I will tell him that these games have regulations and you must be over 18 years old to play. How old are you? He said I was 5 years old. Well, 5-year-olds cannot play this. This is for adults. Of course, he would pout and be unhappy. \”Let me look for you to see if there is anything suitable for a 5-year-old.\” \”Okay! Okay!\” Then I will look for him really seriously. Finally, I found some mini games for playing the piano, graffiti, or putting together dinosaur fossils. I asked him to choose one. Then you can play happily, and the unhappiness just now is gone. The next thing to do is to tell him to manage himself and manage his time. Before learning to manage, it is best for parents to demonstrate first. When you find yourself that gaming takes up a lot of your life or work time, what will you do in this out-of-control situation? One day, I told my son, \”I deleted the game that my dad often played.\” \”Why?\” \”Because it consumes too much of my time. It even takes up my reading time, sleeping time, and more. What\’s important is that it takes up my time to play with you. Do you want to delete it?\” He nodded. \”Then you play by yourself. You must abide by the rules and play within 20 minutes each time.\” \”Okay!\” The next step is to stop when the time is up. In our house, Xiao Xiaoyu has an iPad. But his game and my game are both on one of my phones. There are no games on his iPad because he said he bought it for study purposes. Having said this, you must have thought of the importance of rules. But it is more important whether the person who can enforce the rules has prestige. This prestige does not come from parentsIt is not the power of identity, but the efficiency of leading by example and doing what one says. So the role model of parents is very important. Only if you manage yourself and manage these tools by example, including mobile phones, iPads, TVs, etc. Only in this way can we control our children, make them obey the rules and manage their time. At this time, you will no longer blame your mobile phone for spoiling your child, nor will you blame those games for spoiling your child. Because you can already do it yourself. Family education, in the final analysis, is a shared growth. As a family is formed and the children grow up, the parents themselves also grow up. As status changes, so do responsibilities. If you become a parent and still ignore things, don\’t learn, and let yourself go, it will cause harm to your child\’s growth. Good parents never just ask their children to do what they want, but they always look at themselves. I read an interesting passage like this: \”A father educated his child and said: \”You should study hard! Did you know that when Lincoln was your age, he was the best student in the class? The child said: \”Yes!\” But I know that when Lincoln was your age, he was already the president of the country. \”To see how a child\’s parents are, you often only need to look at the child to know. Because the child is like a mirror of the family, he can reflect your character and behavior habits. If you are happy and kind, he will be happy too. Kind; if you are violent and irritable, he will also be violent and irritable; if you love vanity, he will also love vanity… We should be grateful to our children, in them. Not only do we see the shadow of childhood, but also the current reality. Yourself. It not only brings inner warmth, but also brings the opportunity and power to change. When parents continue to become excellent, their children will also become excellent. Don’t be that bearish parent and bring up your children badly. .