11 common points in educating children successfully, see how many do you have?

We always say that raising children is a practice, a practice that never ends. Because many times, we don’t know what is best for our children and how to raise “successful” children. Therefore, I really like to read those successful cases and always want to learn from the parents of those children. But each family has different opinions. Who should we listen to? Of course, listen to science! The British \”Independent\” took stock of a series of authoritative research conclusions and summarized these 11 common points among parents of successful children. 1. Couples have harmonious relationships An Illinois study found that children who grew up in high-conflict environments tended to have low levels of happiness. The study\’s author, Robert Hughes Jr., a professor in the Department of Human and Community Development, also emphasized that children\’s happiness has little to do with whether their parents are divorced. Specifically, children who grew up in non-conflict single-parent families reported higher levels of happiness in life than children who grew up in conflict-prone two-parent families. The quarrels between parents before divorce will make children become more and more pessimistic; and the quarrels after divorce will seriously interfere with children\’s emotional regulation. Another study shows that the side effects of parents\’ frequent quarrels continue into children\’s adulthood, and these children are more likely to be confused and regretful. 2. Close relationship with children A 2014 study found that among 243 children from poor families, those who received \”sensitive care\” from their parents in the first three years of their lives had better academic performance as children. By age 30, they have achieved higher levels of education and have healthier relationships. The so-called \”sensitive caregivers\” refer to parents who can respond to the signals sent by their children in a timely and appropriate manner, which provides a \”safe foundation\” for children to explore the world. This research further demonstrates that parents\’ investment in early parent-child relationships can pay long-term dividends in their children\’s future personal lives. 3. Have high expectations for children. Neal Halfon, a professor at the University of California, and colleagues found from survey data of 6,600 children born in 2001 that parents’ expectations will have a huge impact on their children’s future achievements. Professor Neal Halfon believes that if parents have clear plans for their children to go to college, then regardless of their parents’ income, their children will always work towards the goal of college. The results of an experiment also support this: among children with poor grades, only 57% of their parents expect them to go to college; among children with good grades, the proportion of parents who expect them to go to college is as high as 96%. This is very similar to the famous Leatherwood Effect in psychology: you get what you expect. For these children, going to college means living up to their parents’ expectations. 4. Both parents are highly educated. Psychologist Sandra Tang of the University of Michigan conducted a longitudinal study on 14,000 children who attended kindergarten from 1998 to 2007. The results found that mothers with high education are more likely to raise children with the same education. Compared with their peers, children raised by teenage mothers (referring to women aged 18 or younger who have children) are far less likely to enter college than their peers. bowling green stateUniversity professor Eric Dubow believes that the educational level achieved by parents when a child is 8 years old can predict the child\’s probability of success in education and career 40 years later. 5. Have a higher socioeconomic status One in five children in the United States grows up in poverty, with economic conditions that severely limit their potential. And the situation is getting worse. Sean Reardon, a scholar at Stanford University, found that the achievement gap between children in rich and poor families is widening. For children born in 2001, the achievement gap caused by disparity in socioeconomic status is 30-40 percentage points higher than it was 25 years ago. Daniel Pink, author of \”Driving Force\”, once said that in the absence of comprehensive and effective intervention, the socioeconomic status of the family is an important reason that affects children\’s academic performance and performance. 6. Moms also work. Research from Harvard Business School found that mothers who go out to work have great benefits for their children\’s growth. When the mother is a working woman, the daughters tend to have higher academic qualifications, are more likely to hold management positions, and make more money. Sons are more willing to take care of children and do housework. Their average parent-child time per week reaches 7 and a half hours, and housework time is more than 25 minutes. The best way to set an example is to let your children see what you do and how you do it, so that they understand what you are involved in and what you believe in. 7. Withstand stress A new study in the Washington Post found that for children aged 3 to 11, the amount of time their mothers spend with them has no impact on their behavior, happiness, or achievement. On the contrary, \”over-parenting\” and \”helicopter parenting\” will be counterproductive. Mother\’s stress, especially the stress caused by mother\’s inability to balance work and life, can really have a negative impact on children. This is \”emotional contagion\” in psychology. Emotions, like a cold, spread among people. When parents feel tired and frustrated, children will also be trapped in the quagmire of these negative emotions. 8. Growth mindset, emphasis on hard work, and not afraid of failure. For children, future achievements are inseparable from their perception of success – where does success come from? Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University, found that for decades, people have had no more than two definitions of success: One is a \”fixed mindset\”: Our intelligence, character, and creativity are innate and cannot be determined. changes through external conditions. Success is an affirmation of innate intelligence. The other is a \”growth mindset\”: success is growing through challenges. Far from being a sign of insufficient intelligence, failure is a springboard for self-growth and progress. The core difference between these two kinds of thinking is whether will is believed to affect ability. If we tell a child that he gets good grades because he is smart, this is a \”fixed mindset\”; if we tell a child that he gets good grades because of hard work, this is a \”growth mindset.\” If you want to learn more about fixed and growth mindset, you can read the previous article -> Thinking pattern determines destiny. This discovery by a Stanford professor explains the growth dilemma of many children. 9. Teach children mathematics very early 2007, 1A study of 35,000 preschoolers in the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom found that the earlier children learn math, the more obvious the advantage. Greg Duncan, a researcher at Northwestern University, further pointed out that the cultivation of early mathematics skills mainly includes the learning of numbers, numerical order, and basic mathematical concepts. The development of these skills not only helps parents predict their children\’s future mathematics learning, but also has a profound impact on reading. 10. Teach children social skills. Researchers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University conducted a study in which they tracked more than 700 children from kindergarten to the age of 25. The results found a significant correlation between children\’s social skills in kindergarten and their success as adults. Researchers say that children with strong social skills in early childhood are helpful, empathetic, good at cooperating with children of the same age, and can solve problems independently. These children are often able to obtain a college degree and find a decent full-time job before the age of 25. In contrast, children who lack social skills in early childhood are more likely to be caught committing crimes, drink alcohol, and apply for public housing when they grow up. Judging from this research, what parents can do to give their children a healthy future is to consciously cultivate their social skills and emotional management skills from an early age. These abilities determine whether a child will go to college or go to prison, find a good job or become an \”addict\” riddled with bad habits. 11. Let your children do housework from an early age. Julie Lythcott-Haims, former dean of freshmen at Stanford University, once said in a TED talk, \”If a child doesn\’t wash the dishes, someone else in the family must be doing the work for him.\” \”In this way, the children will not only not be able to do housework, but also will not understand that everyone has to work hard in life and work hard to make the family better and better.\” \”Allowing children to throw away garbage and do laundry can help them understand that if they want to be part of the family, they must do what they can for the family.\” Based on Harvard University\’s Grant Study, a 75-year longitudinal human study, Lythcott-Haims proposed that children who have done housework since childhood get along more harmoniously with their colleagues and have more empathy after working. Because they understand very well that they may encounter many difficulties at work, and they will do their best to independently complete the tasks at hand. I have also discussed with you the importance of letting children do housework. Click here to read the original text -> If you want your children to have the energy to \”roll up your sleeves and work hard\”, you must start with this small thing. Finally, let’s see how many lines everyone has?