Buddhist parenting: The lazier the mother, the more successful the child will be

Recently, it is the time for military training in various universities. On the campus of Hubei Wuchang University of Science and Technology, many parents are worried about their children, so they organize groups to watch their children\’s military training at the edge of the military training field. When being interviewed, one mother said this: As long as the child is given away, we don\’t care. It doesn\’t matter if the clothes are not clean. He is the one who wears them anyway. Many netizens lamented that this mother is really a Buddhist mother, and it is very rare to be able to let go with peace of mind. This also reminded Minyi’s mother of her college life. College can indeed help children become independent quickly. The same is true for Minyi’s mother. Why? Because after leaving my parents, life forced me to become independent. When Minyi\’s mother was young, she was also a little baby who was held in the palms of her parents\’ hands without touching the spring water. But when I went to college elsewhere, the first problem I faced was the same as this child, which was washing clothes. At that time, there were no washing machines in universities, and even dry cleaners were few and far between. The high temperature and exposure to the sun during the military training in college made me feel that the military training uniforms were picked out from the trash can overnight and fermented for 81 days. At that time, I immediately learned how to wash clothes. . Therefore, it is said that children from poor families have already become the master of their own family. Sometimes, only by forcing the child can he quickly become independent. Children also have to go through ups and downs on their own. When Minbao was learning to walk, I bought him a walker so that I could carry him around without worrying about him falling. When Minbao\’s grandma came to the house and saw it, she said: \”Oh, the child has to fall to learn to walk. When will he learn to walk like this? You didn\’t have this thing at the time, and he will be able to walk in about 11 months.\” Yi’s mother disagreed. All children today are like this. The fact that I could walk at 11 months back then meant that I was developing well. What does it have to do with me falling when I walk? When I become a mother for the first time, I always want to protect my child in every possible way. After Minbao walked well in the walker, I let him get out of the walker and walk on his own. As a result, after getting rid of the walker, Minbao fell down several times before he really learned to walk. When I was chatting with Grandma Minbao, we talked about this. After being laughed at by her, she said: \”When parents are willing to let their children suffer, you have to crawl by yourself when you are 2 years old.\” On the 6th floor, you will cry if I don\’t let you, but how can I bear it? That\’s the 6th floor! Or your grandma said, let the child crawl, if you don\’t let her go, she won\’t know how tired she is.\” This is a smart parent. Although they are reluctant to let their children suffer, they also know that there are some things that they must experience on their own to understand and learn, so they can be ruthless and let their children try and fall on their own. This is how they can truly grow. There is a sentence in the \”Infinite Life Sutra\”: When people are in the world, in the midst of love and desire, they live and die alone, go and come alone, and should travel to the destination of happiness and suffering. It means that people live in the love, hate and lust of the world. From birth to death, they come and go alone. All the joys and sorrows they encounter and experience must be borne by themselves. No one can take their place. The same goes for educating children, what parents should do is never to help their children without principles, but to give them the opportunity to face everything on their own. Only through personal experience will it be more profound. There are some things that children will never learn without experiencing them. There are some things that we cannot bear for them for a lifetime. It’s also good to be a Buddhist parent. When Minbao was in the second grade of elementary school, he suddenly had to wash his own socks. His father felt that such a young child could not wash them cleanly, and he was not causing trouble for me, so he didn’t want him to wash them. But I think this is an opportunity to exercise his independence. Since he wants to try it, I might as well give him this opportunity. Whether it is clean or not is secondary. So I told Minbao, you can wash your socks yourself, but after this time, your mother will never wash your socks again. Is it OK for you to wash them yourself in the future? He told me very confidently that he could, and then Minyi\’s father looked at him as \”too stupid and naive\”. Of course he couldn\’t wash it clean. Minyi\’s father would secretly wash it again while he was sleeping. It wasn\’t long before he didn\’t want to wash his socks anymore. He cried bitterly to me and acted wildly, saying that he was still young and shouldn\’t wash his own socks. He also called his grandparents to accuse me and Minyi\’s father of atrocities. In the end, he was subdued by his grandmother\’s words: Who told you to wash them? If you don\’t wash them, you will have to wear dirty socks to school. Now that he is in the fourth grade of elementary school, he washes not only his own socks, but also his sister’s socks, and sometimes he also washes mine and his dad’s socks. Of course, parents can refuse their children when they say they want to wash their socks and tell them: Don\’t make trouble for me. But you can also be a Buddhist parent. Since your child wants to grow up and be independent, then let him. After all, children cannot stay under the wings and protection of their parents all their lives. It is better to fall down at home now than shed tears in society later. Parents also have to push their children. For parents, the most painful thing may be that you do your best for your children, but your children blame you for not letting go. One issue of \”Longing for Life\” invited Ni Ni, Anglebaby and Wang Xun. At that time, Wang Xun played a violin for everyone and told the story of when he was learning the violin. Like most children, Wang Xun was very interested in the violin, so Wang Xun\’s mother used her two months\’ salary plus overtime pay to buy him a violin. However, after the popularity of \”Three Minutes\” subsided, he suddenly I didn’t want to learn anymore, so I gave up the violin, and now I feel regretful when I think about it. But Xianhua Liu is completely different. He is very unwilling to learn. He can only continue to learn because of the pressure of his parents. When people asked him, do you hate your parents now, Xianhua Liu said no. He is very, very grateful to his parents. After hearing this, Anglebaby lamented why his parents didn\’t force him back then. As Ni Ni said: \”If your parents don\’t force you, these things will never grow on you.\” No child\’s independence and growth are without the slightest pain. Sooner or later, children will go through the painful stage of independence. Instead of letting them If he flinches, it\’s better for his parents to force him. There was a very popular movie in India last year called \”Dangal\”. The two little girls in the movie didn’tI wanted to learn wrestling, so I tried every means to fight against my father. Even if my hair was shaved to look like a boy, I still didn’t want to continue learning wrestling. It wasn\’t until they attended a friend\’s wedding ceremony that they changed their minds. In some parts of India, girls usually get married at the age of 14. Dreams and futures never belong to them. Family and children are the meaning of their existence. Compared with their friend who was forced to marry an old man with white hair, the father of these sisters at least withstood huge pressure and gave them a chance to choose a different life. It was the pressure from their father that made them Those who are reborn don\’t want to grow up, but they have to grow up sooner or later. As a parent, Minyi\’s mother also hopes that her children can avoid the ups and downs of growing up, but I hope that Minbao and Yibao can become independent on their own. After all, Minyi\’s father and I can\’t accompany them for the rest of our lives, even if I want to give them two lives for the rest of our lives. They may not be willing to do laundry and cooking, so it is better to be a Buddhist parent from now on, let go and give your child a chance to be independent, force him from time to time, and become the driving force for his growth. Sometimes, he can only move forward if I let go.