Are children smarter if they become sensible earlier? Parents must see this!

Recently, an incident occurred in Sanhe City, Hebei Province: a couple had a quarrel over trivial family matters and got into a fight. The wife called the police to report that her husband was experiencing domestic violence. After the police arrived, their 6-year-old son was afraid that the police would arrest his parents, so he cried and told what happened. It could be seen that the boy was very sad and angry: \”The two of them quarreled over a trivial matter. It was the mother who touched it first, and it even bled. I don\’t know what they were thinking. The child was still so young, and they just Aren\’t you afraid that your child will be sad?\” The child answered with a cry throughout. He was like a little adult, cooperating with the police\’s investigation and telling parents not to argue over trivial matters. The comment section was surprisingly unified, all praising the children for being sensible: In childhood, who doesn’t want loving parents, a harmonious family, and a carefree and happy childhood. However, being born to such parents, who can do anything? The word \”sensible\” is like a common word used by adults to praise children, but how much children\’s sadness is hidden in these two words? There are two types of sensible children. Which one does your family have? Parents, do you know that there are two types of sensible people: one is those whose parents are of high quality and open-minded, have good tutoring since childhood, and mature psychologically early. Such children are sensible and independent, and their excellent qualities such as understanding others, being proactive, and sympathizing with the weak are cultivated in a subtle way. When they were young, there was a classic public service announcement on TV that impressed the audience deeply. A child first saw his mother washing his grandmother\’s feet. Then he walked up to his mother with a basin in his hand and said, \”Mom, wash your feet.\” This behavior is not to please, but to learn. This kind of sensibleness is beneficial to the growth of children. The other type grew up in an unhappy family environment, with parents who were too weak or prone to anger. Such children look docile and sensible, but in fact they dare not shed tears or say anything, and are used to suppressing their inner feelings. This is forced sensibility, and there will be \”grievance\” and \”unhappiness\” behind it. Such children have been depressed for a long time and have to learn to give up themselves and hide their emotions, forming children with low self-esteem personality with the following characteristics. Don\’t dare to be willful; children will pay special attention to the faces of people around them. They subconsciously want to be a person recognized by their parents. Therefore, once a parent makes an \”unhappy\” expression, the child will immediately notice it and stop what he is doing. Will not refuse; none of us like to be forced, so we will refuse when we encounter something we hate. But children with low self-esteem will not. They put other people\’s emotions first and force themselves because they are afraid of hurting others. Unconfident and sensitive; afraid of disappointing everyone, so children with low self-esteem will subconsciously doubt themselves when they are praised. Even if it is something within his ability, he will still feel hesitant and uneasy, and will often say \”I can\’t do it\” and \”I can\’t\”. Sensible children try their best to make the people around them happy, hoping to avoid all troubles, but they often Don’t have the courage to express your true self. When they grow up, they usually become \”good guys.\” Their \”goodness\” does not come entirely from love, but from fear. Children who are too sensible will have regrets throughout their lives. \”Qi Pa Shuo\” contestant Xiao Xiao once said: Don\’t think that being sensible is a compliment.Meaning, why are people sensible? It was because he was forced by the environment and had no other choice. He had to be sensible. He\’d better not make any demands from me that are beyond his capabilities. He must be sensible! There are too many children who choose to be sensible not because their parents provide good education, but because they are forced to do so because if they are not sensible, their parents will not love them. My friend Yang Yuan told me that he is the eldest in the family and is often asked to be humble by his father. Everything that is delicious and fun is always enjoyed by his younger siblings first. One time, his grandma bought a box of milk cakes. He really wanted to eat them, but the quantity was limited and he was quickly divided among his younger siblings. It doesn\’t matter to his parents. He is the eldest and should be humble. But who knew that many years later, that piece of milk cake without an entrance would become a permanent gap in his childhood. When he grew up, he made a lot of money, but he kept looking for the box of milk cakes from before, but the factory had stopped production. It was obviously just an ordinary milk cake, but he had been thinking about it for most of his life. He even couldn\’t hold back tears when he finally learned that it would be discontinued. The princess dress that you dreamed of when you were a child has long lost its original mood when you grow up; the cakes and candies that you coveted as a child have long lost their original sweetness when you grow up; the things that you really want but can\’t get when you are a child are often not available. It becomes an obsession when you grow up. Giving up what you want again and again, suppressing your emotions, swallowing all the grievances and helplessness in your heart; when you grow up, even if you have money, you can never buy back your childhood desires. Don\’t let your children be too sensible. The University of Rochester in the United States once conducted an experiment: it found some children of similar age, divided them into two groups, and conducted a simple test. Before the exam, they told the children that if they performed well, they would get gifts. When the children heard this, they were very happy and danced in agreement. Later, the results were good, and the gifts were distributed from the first group to the last child in the first group. The children in the second group were shocked. Why didn’t they get the gifts they promised? The experimenter said: \”Some children did not get the gift. Forget it if they did not get the gift. Be sensible. Now let\’s start the second test.\” This test was repeated several times, but the children in the second group still did not get the gift. Test scores dropped significantly. The test result is: blindly emphasizing children\’s \”sensible\” will cause children to fall into great confusion and pain, lose trust in the world, and lose their ability to behave. So, parents, please don’t let your children hold back their desires. Being ‘sensible’ may seem like it can save you a lot of trouble, but in fact it makes your children doubt the world and lead to disappointment. It is normal for a child who has not yet matured and grown up to make some unreasonable demands. Parents should patiently guide and care, and do the following instead of blindly telling their children: You must be sensible. Respect your children\’s opinions. Every child will have different ideas about different things. When parents feel that their child’s ideas are ‘incorrect’, don’t rush to refute them. Listen patiently to the child and help them sort out their logic. Even if the child makes a mistake, you should try your best to stand in the child\’s position, provide understanding, and then patiently guide the child and tell him how to correct it. Mom and dad will always be on his side. Don\’t take love\’Threatening the child: \”Why haven\’t you changed? I\’ll be angry when I see you. The further away you are from me, the better.\” \”Look at that so-and-so in your class. If you can be half as good as him, I\’ll be happy.\” Believe it or not. Most parents are not unfamiliar with such words. It seems that these words are just commonplace. But to the child it\’s a threat: If you don\’t do this, then I don\’t love you. Parents need to pay attention to their words and communicate well with their children when encountering problems. Never send the message \”I don\’t love you\” to their children. Don’t ask your children to ‘give in’. In many families with two children, parents will think that it is natural for older siblings to give in to younger siblings. Let the younger ones enjoy everything first, and then tell the older children: You have to be sensible. This will make the older children feel wronged. Why should I let my younger siblings do it when I am older? In fact, parents should consider the feelings of all children before distributing them and prepare the same amount of things to let them know that regardless of age, parents love them equally. Parents must avoid letting their children fall into the misunderstanding of being \”sensible\” and tell them: If it\’s yours, go for it. Don\’t bully others, but you can\’t be bullied by others; don\’t rob others, but you can\’t be bullied by others either. prey. The world is not kind, and you must learn to defend your rights and protect yourself. My child, I hope you only know what you need to know.