How to prevent children from being rebellious? But some people want their children to be more rebellious

Since both parents are not in good health and cannot help us take care of our children for a long time, our son has been with us since he was a child. We have always been very strict with him and never pampered him, and no one in the next generation indulges him. Therefore, he does not have the common arrogance of an only child. He is a very obedient child and has basically never experienced any rebellion. Expect. Of course, the education of an obedient child is relatively smooth. We let him learn musical instruments, practice calligraphy, and learn painting. His grades in cultural classes are also very good, and he can be said to be versatile and excellent in both conduct and learning. In the eyes of others, he is a perfect child, and we have always been willing to teach others our experience in raising children. However, as our son continued to grow, we gradually felt that something was not right. For example, he is deficient in accepting new knowledge and always fails to reach the ideal top level. For example, when he encounters something, he often asks for our opinions and rarely makes up his own mind. We realized that we controlled him too much and too strictly, which restricted his thinking and behavior, which had a negative effect. I remember once during a parent-teacher meeting, my son’s class teacher specifically mentioned that some students’ poor planning and initiative caused them to lack creativity in learning, which affected their own growth. The next words of the class teacher shocked me: \”These students are often obedient children!\” Because these children have always listened to their parents and teachers, and followed everything arranged by their parents and teachers step by step, they have lost some independence. thinking, and there are fewer opportunities to solve problems independently. Slowly, the child\’s \”obedient\” advantage, which people have always been proud of, turned into a disadvantage. What the head teacher said actually makes sense. Children whose parents have taken care of everything since childhood and who are obedient to their parents and teachers tend to be less proactive and creative, whether in study or work. In fact, our entire education system has been cultivating obedient children. In this process, the individuality of the children is lost and their practical and innovative abilities are increasingly degraded. This can also explain why some naughty children in the class are often more promising than those well-behaved children when they grow up. Children\’s pranks or some weird ideas, understood from another perspective, they are all sparks of wisdom! Rebellion is because when children grow up, they begin to think independently, have their own opinions, and begin to know how to question and resist. These are indispensable for a person\’s growth. A psychological counselor said it well, every child who seems to be rebellious will have dazzling personality advantages. If a child doesn\’t rebel when he should, it\’s not necessarily a good thing. Now, we often encourage our son to make more decisions on his own and to express different opinions, even if his rebuttal makes us angry, even if his ideas may not be appropriate. This is not pretentious on our part. I have quoted many times in the article the educational story about Confucius in \”Historical Records\”: Ran Qiu asked Confucius: \”Do you act as soon as you hear something?\” Confucius said: \”As soon as you hear something, act.\” Zilu asked Confucius: \”As soon as you hear something, do you act?\” Just take action?\” Confucius said\”How can you take action as soon as you hear it when your father and brother are still alive?\” Zihua felt strange about this and said: \”I would like to ask a question, why do they both ask the same question, but your answer is completely different? ?\” Confucius said: \”Ran Qiu is timid and worried, so I encourage him. Zhong You is bold and impulsive, so I have to restrain him.\” There is no absolutely correct golden standard for educating children. For children who run around outside every day, of course they should be asked to read more books at home. For children who sit at the desk every day, they should be asked to go out and run more. For children who are too rebellious, we should ask them to be obedient, and for children who are too obedient, we should also encourage them to be rebellious. Encouraging or restricting children according to their actual situation is the best education.