The most important thing for parents to respect their children is to give them the right to choose.

Every time I go to a friend\’s house and see her getting along with her son, it is a great test of my patience. The child picked out his own clothes, and she took out another one: \”It seems a little cold today, let\’s change to this one.\” The child liked art, but she enrolled him in an English class: \”What can you achieve by painting?\” The child was watching \” \”Maze Adventure\”, she threw him \”One Hundred Thousand Whys\”: \”If you have this time, learn more knowledge.\” What to eat, what to wear, where to play, what toys to buy, what books to read, what interest classes to take , what kind of friends to make…friends all make decisions for the child, without giving the child a chance to choose. \”I make my own decisions about my own affairs!\” Every time the child opened her mouth, she was silenced by her words, \”When you grow up, you can make the decision.\” Seeing the child\’s depressed look, I couldn\’t help but advise my friend that children also need to be respected and have the right to choose. But my friend disagrees: He is still young, so he doesn’t know what is best for him. Do children really know nothing when they are young? Is it okay to give him the choice when he gets older? Do you really do him a favor by doing everything for him? not necessarily. Chen Meiling, who sent all three sons to top universities in the United States, once said when talking about raising her sons, never make choices for your children. If it is really good for your child, you should treat your child as an independent individual and allow him to make choices freely according to his own ideas. Just as Bing Xin said, let children grow naturally like wild flowers and respect their nature and choices. Children who are deprived of the right to choose are likely to lose the ability to choose. The usual pattern in many families is that parents have the final say in everything big and small, and children do not even have the opportunity to intervene. Whenever children have opinions, parents always have their own excuses: \”What do children know?\” \”It\’s not for your own good!\” \”You will regret not listening to me!\” \”Am I going to harm you?\” No one Parents don\’t love their children, but such love that ignores their children\’s thoughts and needs makes it difficult for children to feel their parents\’ respect for them, and makes them depressed. In the long run, it will also have an impact on the child\’s personality. Parents who are keen to make decisions for their children are likely to raise children who have no ideas and no independent opinions. Just like a friend\’s son, when faced with a strong mother, his initial dissatisfaction and argument gradually evolved into compromise, submission, and dependence. Whenever he needed to make a decision, he was at a loss. He would always turn to his mother for help: Mom, help me choose. At this time, my friend had a headache: Why does this child have no opinion at all? When they should be cultivating their children\’s opinions, parents take care of everything for their children and stingyly give them the opportunity to make choices. For this reason, they even suppress and ridicule their children\’s ideas. Children who are deprived of the right to make independent choices will gradually lose their ability to make choices over time, become hesitant when encountering problems, and become accustomed to relying on others. In severe cases, self-doubt will arise and you will become timid and timid. A controlled life makes children overwhelmed. Do you remember Wang Meng, a talented scholar from Peking University who desperately ran away from his parents? He is the child who has been controlled by his parents since he was a child and cannot make his own decisions in everything. \”my parentsThey have always tended to keep me at home and arrange things according to their preferences. \”In his ten-thousand-word letter against his parents, he wrote: He wanted to wear shorts as required by the teacher, but his mother did not agree; he was interested in the Mathematical Olympiad, but his parents opposed his attending classes and competitions; his parents wanted him to make all the friends he made.\” He wanted to study abroad, but his parents rejected him; he didn’t want to associate with relatives or friends of his parents who he didn’t like, and his parents asked him to be “tight inside and loose outside”; when he went to college, his parents entrusted him with Give it to relatives and start another way of control… In the eyes of his parents, these may be small things of \”love\”, but to Wang Meng, they are \”wanton control and arrangement\” of his life for 30 years. Such airtight love suffocated him. He even had social barriers because of this and wanted to learn psychology to relieve his depression. It’s no wonder that he didn’t go home for the Spring Festival in 2012 and blocked his parents for 6 years. A life without the right to choose is like a kite tightly held in the hands of parents. It cannot fly high or far, and all struggles are in vain. One can imagine the frustration and anguish the child feels inside. Bi Shumin once said, I think there is nothing wrong with some parents designing a life path for their children, but children have the right to choose other paths. When children and parents disagree, the child\’s choice should be respected and the family environment should not be allowed to deteriorate to the point of hopelessness. The starting point of \”being good for the children\” is understandable, but we should also understand that even the youngest children need to be respected. Giving back the child\’s right to make independent choices and letting him make his own decisions in life is the best respect for the child. And this is the love that children want more. With freedom of choice, children\’s lives will be freer. Fang Wenshan said that life with the right to choose is a happy life. Lin Zhuoyu, a boy born in the 1990s, is that happy child. He began literary creation at the age of 5, published a book at the age of 12, and became the youngest member of the Hunan Writers Association at the age of 15. He has won more than 200 literary awards and is known as the \”post-90s writer leader.\” When talking about her son\’s education, Mrs. Lin said that she never forces her children to learn anything. Too many rules and regulations can easily destroy the child\’s nature. If he likes reading, buy him a lot of books; if he likes writing, support him in writing, but don’t deliberately lead him to writing; if he likes traveling and flowers, take him out to play, and give him special gifts at home. Make room for planting flowers and plants; he prefers liberal arts, and it won\’t put too much pressure on him. \”Respect the child\’s interests and let him grow freely. We just need to grasp the general direction.\” Equally happy is my friend\’s daughter Yueyue. Yueyue has been lively and active since she was a child, and she is keen on all the activities that boys like: football, skateboarding, skating, hip-hop… Friends were initially troubled by her daughter\’s \”not quite ladylike\” preferences. But gradually, she figured it out: she has the final say in her life. Since she likes it, then accompany her to play football on weekends, buy her a sturdy and useful skateboard, choose a reliable hip-hop class to sign up for… The child studies the things she likes very seriously, and scored in the game of football. In the school football team, I met a few like-minded friends while skateboarding, and I participated in a city street dance competition and won a second prize. Friends can’t help but sigh that happy education actually bringsCome for a surprise. In \”Success, Motivation, and Goals\”, Grant Halvorson believes that children long to find happiness in a sense of belonging, to grow in new things, and to gain intrinsic motivation from free choices. Only by free choice can I choose what I love, and only then can I love what I choose. Only when learning driven by inner strength is enjoyable and full of motivation can children shine in their own fields. Let go and let your children make the decision for themselves. Actor Sylvia Chang once raised her son strictly according to her own plan. Even if she saw that the child was very unhappy, she still insisted on her own opinion. It wasn\’t until her son was kidnapped and found again that she suddenly woke up and began to respect his thoughts and wishes: she could invite her classmates home to play together; she could wear cheap T-shirts and jeans; she no longer had to part her hair in threes and sevens and comb it carefully. Meticulous; he doesn’t have to practice musical instruments every day and listen to symphonies with a grimace; he can go to his favorite amusement park instead of just going to museums and art palaces… During a trip, his son leaned in Sylvia Chang’s arms and suddenly said, \” Mom, thank you.\” This \”thank you\” greatly touched Sylvia Chang: I asked him to become the best student in the school, become the most popular child star, and spend all his money to pay the ransom, but he didn\’t thank me. But as he leaned in my arms at sunset in the desert, he thanked me so sincerely. I found that this kind of life is the day when my son truly feels happy and satisfied. I finally understood that doing too much for him would actually harm him. God gave me his son back, and I gave my son my freedom! No amount of care, no matter how much love, is not as good as parents letting go and giving their children the freedom to make decisions about their own lives. For parents, it can be difficult. Children are ignorant, but we have rich life experience, so we always think that making more choices for our children that we think is the right choice may save them from taking detours and make their lives perfect. However, the smooth and smooth road of life is temporary. After all, a child\’s path must be walked and forged by himself. So where will the children go without the protection of their parents in the future? Is the so-called perfect life that parents really want for their children? Huang Zhizhong said in \”Qi Pa Shuo\”: What is a perfect life? That is to always have the most choices possible at all times in life. A smooth life is not perfection. Being able to make choices according to your own wishes at every intersection in life is perfection. There may be bumps and setbacks, but bumps and setbacks have their own meaning for a child\’s growth. As Bi Shumin said, a child\’s life has its own trajectory. He should have a complete experience of what he should bear and what he should experience. In this way, his life can be called worthwhile.