I tried all the projects in the interest class, but in the end I hurt my children and myself.

These days, there are very few parents who have not enrolled their children in interest classes. Around me, there is an interest class for kindergarten children. English and Lego are must-haves. Other options include dance, painting, piano, taekwondo, swimming, chess… Let the children try everything they want. The best way to persevere is to make progress. Well, you can broaden your horizons and expand your thinking even if you can’t insist on it. With this idea in mind, I also enrolled Qianxun in many interest classes. It is very important to cultivate a girl\’s temperament, so she signed up for ballet; art is the competitiveness in the future, and the cultivation of beauty cannot be left behind, so she signed up for art; I heard that robots will replace the Mathematical Olympiad, so in order to give my children extra points in the future, I signed up for Lego robots… But Qianxun At the age of 5, after entering the upper class, I found that \”casting the net widely\” in this way was a bit unworkable. After the adults entered the senior class, Qianxun Kindergarten\’s curriculum was obviously tighter than before. Homework began to be assigned in the mathematical thinking class, reading and foreign teacher classes also became more difficult, and a small broadcast in English had to be prepared once a week. These all take time to complete. I rushed to the kindergarten after get off work every day, picked up the baby, and then rushed to the interest class non-stop. When the child was in class, she would work overtime typing outside the classroom with her legs propped up on a tablet. After her class was over, she endured a long traffic jam and drove home. I was already very tired, but when I got home I found that I still had homework and class content to review, and I suddenly felt anxious! I feel like my whole body is like a clockwork machine, spinning around my child every day. It’s so tiring. It doesn’t matter if it hurts the child or makes it difficult for the adults, as long as the child learns something, it’s worth it. But an experience in an interest class gave me a different perception. One day, I sent Qianxun to the Robotics Academy and found that the two children in her group were very good. From building to programming, they were much smoother than Qianxun. Because she couldn\’t keep up with her partner\’s progress, Qianxun could only watch helplessly most of the time and couldn\’t get involved at all. This had a huge impact on her confidence. Later, I felt like she gave up on participating. . These two children obviously started learning at the same time as Qianxun, how could the gap be so big? After chatting with other parents, I found out that they would practice with their children at home when they had nothing to do. They would also record the things their children did not do well in the construction process and then give pointers. Every time after class, I will communicate with the teacher and ask how the child\’s learning progress is and what aspects need to be strengthened. After returning home, review the exam in a targeted manner based on the information provided by the teacher. In comparison, the effort we put in after class is too little! This is not to blame for the children. There are so many interest classes and within the limited time, it is impossible to train well in everything. In addition, my energy was also shared, and I could not provide guidance in everything. As a result, my children learned a lot, but failed to learn many of them well. I even began to worry that such \”soy sauce\” learning would eventually make children lose interest and even dampen their self-confidence! When two real problems were faced, I had to reflect on my previous choices. For interest classes, children may gain more if they sign up more. A hammer here and a stick without time to practice will only end up hurting the adults and the children. After learning from the painful experience, I started to do weight loss for Qianxun’s interest class this fall.Law. I would still struggle before cutting off the piano, taekwondo, and basketball. The child seems to be somewhat interested in every interest class, and he has not shown any particular dislike for any project. Besides, what if he is not good at what he seems to be good at today, and what if he is good at it in the future? It is so difficult to decide what to cut and what not to cut… Such a dilemma, I believe many mothers have experienced this. However, children\’s time is limited, and our own energy is also limited. If we don\’t want to let go of this, we don\’t want to throw away that, and the result will only be more tiring and entangled! The only way to get rid of the entanglement is to focus on the present. Since no one knows what the child will be good at in the future, instead of worrying about the uncertain future, it is better to work steadily and do well now. I first screened out the interest classes that have been studied for more than one year to do the subtraction, because if the children are less than one year old, I still can’t tell the tendency of the children. In every interest class, children are very motivated when they first start attending. After the initial freshness is over, you will often fall into a period of fatigue. After some small achievements, the fighting spirit is rekindled… Children\’s interest class learning is such a process of ups and downs. I still remember when Qianxun first learned creative art, she was so focused on drinking water that she didn’t even bother to go to the bathroom. Later, when it came to the detailed repairs and fillings, I started to feel afraid of difficulties. I came home every day and told me that painting was not fun at all and I didn’t want to learn it anymore. Fortunately, I didn\’t take it seriously. I stayed with her through that trough period and started studying with confidence again. So my idea is that no matter what interest class you take, you have to stick to it for at least a year before you can decide whether to give up. Don\’t judge your child as having no potential in this hobby just because he is temporarily tired. Another important point in subtraction is that it is not just about cutting off a few projects, but investing more in retained projects. It seems that I have cut off many interest classes for Qianxun, but the energy and time I invested have not decreased. I just don’t rush into them as quickly as before, but focus on a few reserved projects. In terms of individual investment, we actually paid more. The efforts here include not only picking up and dropping off, but also having to practice and ponder with the children, provide an immersion environment, etc. This is actually a greater test for parents. In general, subtraction means focusing energy and time, and gradually transitioning from \”general casting of the net\” to \”focused training.\” After doing subtraction, Qianxun\’s performance in the interest class changed a lot. Her retained projects are doing much better than before. This is due to the fact that we finally have enough time and energy to work hard to improve a single project. For example, in creative art, I used to rush home after class. Now, every time I finish class, I will communicate with the teacher to understand the course progress and Qianxun’s performance in class, and to listen to the teacher’s opinions. After returning home, do exercises with her based on the information provided by the teacher. (The reproduction story of the jellyfish family we designed together) Every time, I would encourage her to tell the story behind a painting, and then guide her to design some small details and \”mechanisms\” to express the intricate and imaginative storyline, allowing her to Give full play to your creative thinking and imagination. Usually, whenever there are art exhibitions or design exhibitions, I try to bring her to participate and provide her with an immersive environment. These efforts are ultimately reflected in the children. The enthusiasm is very different.There are many projects in preschool, but none of them are outstanding, and they even fall behind due to lack of practice. The children\’s confidence is actually frustrated, the negativity is strong, and they feel like \”learning casually\”. Now, because I have practiced more, I have improved quickly compared with my peers, my confidence has returned, and my enthusiasm for learning has also increased. She urges me to go to class every week for fear of missing out. Recently, one of Qianxun\’s paintings was selected into the ISTART Children\’s Art Festival, and she was very happy. After studying in this hobby class for several years, this is the first time I see her so happy. Maybe it’s because she finally feels like she’s excelling. 🙂 Seeing this, I wonder if you have some new ideas about choosing interest classes? In fact, judging from the complaints from mothers around me, my experience is not unique. There are children who are promoted from kindergarten to primary school or enter elementary school, and the academic pressure forces them to make new choices in interest classes; there are also children who have many interest classes and learn everything but fail to learn anything well… There is no problem with \”trying everything\” in the beginning. I kept “trying everything” until something went wrong. While we are constantly registering for classes, we forget that children are actually very hard and not easy. Not every child can successfully acquire new skills. Many times, they just passively accept one after another \”good for you\” arrangements from their parents. Doing addition is a good resource for children. Isn\’t doing subtraction another kind of help for children? We focused together and worked together. We didn’t learn much, but we were serious and worth it! I once read a passage in a book that I like very much and would like to give it to you: Life is a process of constant overthrowing and reconstruction, full of deletions. In every choice we make, we must recognize the essence of things and our own needs. Subtraction means not losing, but gaining.