Is unhappiness hereditary? Wise parents never complain to their children

A few days ago, Minyi\’s mother watched \”Qi Pa Shuo\” and felt deeply moved after reading it. The debate topic in that issue was: Should I tell my parents if I am not living happily in another place? The affirmative side should be told, the negative side should not be told, and in the end the affirmative side wins. But actually I support the opposite side. Why? Because my parents were under a lot of pressure when I was a child, they chose to protect me and didn’t tell me. When I grew up, I didn’t want to make them worry so I chose not to tell them. I have always felt that this is the choice of most children living in this world, but I suddenly discovered that this is not the case. There are still many children who confide their unhappiness in life to their parents, and there are also many parents who choose to complain to their children. We don’t complain to our children because we don’t want them to carry a heavy burden. Minyi’s mother has a favorite movie called “Life is Beautiful”. The story takes place in a Jewish concentration camp during World War II. The Jew Guido deceived his son into playing a game. As long as they got 1,000 points, they could go home in a real tank. So all their hardships in the concentration camp were revealed to his son. It seems that everything has become a test for him. He can endure hunger and do hard labor. The most rare thing is that he still maintains a pure childlike innocence amidst the abuse and humiliation of German soldiers. In the chaos on the eve of the night, Guido hid his son in a box and wanted to take advantage of the chaos to go to the place where his wife was being held to save his wife. However, he was unfortunately discovered by the Germans. When he was escorted past the box where his son was hidden, he walked with his head held high and even He made a face to his son, implying that his son should abide by the rules of the \”game\” and not come out, so his son only heard a gunshot. The next day the son came out of the box and saw many real tanks. An American soldier came to him and took him home. Guido did not complain to his son, but instead created a fantasy game for him, so that his son could walk out of blood and mud and still maintain a clean heart. I think this is the great love of parents for their children. The reason why we are willing to carry heavy burdens is just because we don’t want our children to carry heavy burdens. When I was in high school, I always went to a breakfast shop to eat steamed buns. Sometimes after school in the evening, I would go to this shop to pack a bowl of porridge and take it home to drink. Many times I could see the shop owner’s son doing homework in the shop, and his mother would sometimes Just say: \”I have worked so hard for you, you must live up to your expectations!\” Some people say that people can only truly grow after experiencing suffering. But for me, who was still in high school back then, I really felt sorry for this boy. Minyi\’s mother\’s parents were also hardworking members of the small third-tier community in her hometown, but my parents never told me about the hardships of their lives. For me, who was still in high school, this mother\’s words made me sad. I feel exhausted. When you are not yet 18 years old, do you have to bear the hardships of another person in your life? I am really grateful to my parents for not letting me carry a heavy burden during the best years of my youth. Complaints may not bring motivation to children, but pressure. In the name of recalling youth, I watched \”The Best of Us\”. In it, Yu Huai\’s mother kept telling her son about how difficult it was for him and how much he had to sacrifice for himself. , which made this already very smart boy feel even moreTired, there are still many \”leftovers\” in life. Because many parents will say something like this: \”Who am I living so hard for now!\” We work hard to live diligently, not only to live a better life for ourselves, but of course we are also working hard for our children to have a better life. Pay, children come into this world because of our choices, we choose the right to have children, we should pay the price of raising them, this is the responsibility of parents. And this \”complaint\” that many parents blurt out simply puts shackles on the children\’s hearts and makes them feel that their parents are the source of their hard work. In the TV series, Yu Huai is burdened with the expectations of his mother, and the pressure is increasing. In the end, his mother\’s shadow was not lost in his failure in the physics competition. In real life, there are countless children who fail college entrance examinations and commit suicide because of their parents\’ expectations. For parents, a complaint to their children may be just a complaint about life and a little expectation for their children, but for the children, it is likely to become pressure and burden. After a long time, the children may even They will criticize themselves, oppose their own interests, lower their self-esteem, become more critical of others, and are used to complaining about their unsatisfactory life. Fu Seoul said something that touched my heart. She said: The most honest communication between parents and children often brings the most real sense of guilt. The guilt of not being able to help, the discomfort of being powerless, are harder to get through than the specific unhappiness. Complaints from parents may make children even more tired. I don’t complain to my children, and I hope they won’t complain about life either. When Minyi’s father and I quarrel, I will consciously avoid the children, and even become in love with each other for a second when the children appear. I believe many parents are like me and Minyi\’s father, because quarrels between husband and wife are disputes between adults, and sometimes they are even trivial matters. Children may not understand these problems, but they will instinctively feel scared and uneasy. The same goes for complaining to children. Children cannot help Minyi\’s father and I resolve disputes between husband and wife, nor can they change trivial matters. Naturally, it cannot help me relieve the pressure I am under in society. In this case, why should I tell my children about my bad emotions and affect them? There was a documentary that almost everyone knew before, called \”The Way Out\”. Xu Jia, a young man from a small town, burdened with the expectations of his deceased father and his mother who raised several sons alone, finally passed the college entrance examination three times. University, after struggling in the city for many years, finally changed his destiny. Yuan Hanhan, who came from the city, could have good educational resources without having to bear any pressure, and his starting point was higher than Xu Jia\’s ending point. What about the parents of two people? Yuan Hanhan\’s parents may not have suffered less from social pressure in Beijing than the mother of Xu Jia, a small town, raising her son alone. However, Yuan Hanhan\’s parents have never complained to their children. This is the pressure of the adult world. Why tell their children that they will ruin their childlike innocence? , which adds another burden to the children. If you were born with a choice, would you like to be Yuan Hanhan or Xu Jia? I choose Yuan Hanhan, and naturally I hope my children can become Yuan Hanhan. children are parentsThe epitome of life, so I hope that my own children can live happily. I hope that my children can be more open-minded than me and enjoy the life that I have brought to them. It is precisely because of this that Guido is willing to play a false game with his children in the Jewish concentration camp, hoping that the children can understand the world from a beautiful perspective, and is also willing to walk to death with his head held high, leaving a beautiful back for the children. Yuan Hanhan\’s parents are willing to create better living conditions for their children, so she can enjoy her youth as much as she wants. Finally, I would like to send this fan’s message to everyone. Be a good parent and let your children become positive copies. I hope we can all raise children who are open-minded and don’t like to complain.