My child, forgive me for not being your friend yet.

Can parents and children be friends? N years ago, I was having dinner with a group of colleagues from the newspaper office in the cafeteria. When asked about whether parents and children could be friends, a male colleague immediately shouted, \”Children are just children, how can they be friends?\” The look of disbelief on his face made me, who advocate love and freedom, feel a burst of contempt in my heart. I immediately labeled him, huh, he must be a rigid parent who regards himself as the authority and beats and scolds his children. Not only that, I also fantasize with a proud look on my face that I want to raise my children to be my besties and old friends. We respect each other and discuss everything; we can talk about anything and everything without each other Whatever the secret is, my children will tell me immediately when they have something on their mind, and they will be the first to think of me when they have something happy. But after so many years, I gradually realized that being friends with children since childhood may not be the best way to get along with them. Recently, I listened to an audio program by Huang Tingchan. Lecturer Zhang Qingxiang mentioned that modern people advocate the concept of equality for all people. Indeed, everyone is born equal. This sentence is correct. But in fact, in any kind of relationship, there are still subtle differences. Otherwise, how could there be respect for the old and love for the young, respect for teachers and respect for teaching? A room full of colleagues was chattering, but as soon as the leader arrived, everything fell into silence. Are leaders and colleagues equal? From a human point of view, it is okay, but in getting along, there is still order. In the parent-child relationship, the most important thing for parents is to cultivate awe in their children. Respect means respect and love, and fear is born out of respect. A child with a sense of awe will not be timid when things happen, but only with a sense of awe can he have self-control and think of others in his heart. He will not only care about himself. Even if you yell in public, you won\’t be arrogant and you can do whatever you want. Awe, these three words, made me think a lot. A few years ago, when I heard these three words, I would immediately think, hey, why are you so pedantic? What age is this, and children are still afraid of me. But after listening to this program, I found that the word \”reverence\” is completely different from my previous understanding. \”Respect\” means respect and love, and \”fear\” means fear, but this fear comes from respect. When I think of these two words, I immediately think of Zhang Xiaoling, my broadcasting tutor in college. Because of her professional attainments and her careful guidance and cultivation of me, I have always respected her from college to now. Every time I think of her, my heart becomes softer. There is respect and love in this respect, and this fear is also born from this love and respect. I care about her feelings and hope to get her approval, so I treat her There is both respect and fear. I respect her, and I take her classes very seriously. Occasionally she sends me a WeChat message, and I will reply to her immediately. What she asks me to do is more important to me than anything else. The things she gives me, I will cherish it very much. When I was in school, I might not care about other test subjects, but I would work particularly hard in the broadcasting class. I was worried that the teacher would be disappointed, and I hoped that I could be her pride. I am in awe of her, not because she is particularly harsh on me or beats or criticizes me, but because she has pointed out the direction for me in business, and I sincerely obey her and am willing to follow her lead.I will also be strict with myself in terms of pace, because I care about her opinion. Yes, there is always a place reserved for her in my heart. I think the relationship between parents and children should be like this to some extent. Perhaps after the children turn 18 and become adults, we can become friends who talk about everything, but before that, when we raise our children, we should let them have a sense of respect for their parents and others. Only a child with a sense of awe will have self-control and will not become a \”naughty child\” in the eyes of others, being overbearing and only caring about himself in everything without considering the feelings of others. Cultivating children\’s awe is inseparable from the establishment of boundaries. For children under the age of 8, parents are more like managers. We need to give children clear guidance and boundaries. A parent with boundaries will make the child feel more secure. Li Meijin, a well-known criminal psychology expert, once emphasized in a lecture that before a child is 7 years old, every time you respond to his needs and every bit of investment you make on him, you are accumulating capital for educating him in the future. In other words, only when your child is emotionally and psychologically dependent on you can he be willing to follow you, and only when he feels your love can he be willing to listen to you. As the old saying goes, if you show kindness to someone when you are young, you will be able to establish authority over him later on. When your child is young, you don\’t care, but when he gets older, you hope he can have a long talk with you. This is almost impossible. For children aged 9 to 14, parents play the role of leaders at this time. We must listen carefully and observe the children\’s situation. Sometimes we will also ask for the children\’s opinions and opinions, but we must make decisions at home and be responsible for them. Or parents. For children over 14 years old, parents are like a guide, listening to the child\’s views and seeing if they need help from their parents. Most of the children\’s basic needs are determined by the children. You know, by this time they have little interest in our long speeches. After the child turns 18 and becomes an adult, parents and children tend to be more and more on the same level. In marriage, what men need is respect, and what women need is care. The same is true in the parent-child relationship. Parents should be the ones their children respect. They should have the strength to lead their children in front and let their children follow them with confidence. If the two of them are always on the same line when the child is young, the weak child will be confused. \”Baby, where are we going to play today? Baby, what are we eating today?\” It is beyond the child\’s ability to let the child think, make decisions and be responsible for everything. Moreover, when the child is very young, we adults take the initiative to give him various choices. When he is older, when he does not want to do homework, when he keeps squandering money, and you want to take back the choice, the child will Falling into anger, why I could have the final say before, but not now. Although Xiaopai sometimes talks back to us, I can still see from some details that she is a child who has others in her heart and can restrain herself. Last weekend, our family went hiking in the countryside with the family of my dad’s friend. After lunch, she invited her friend’s two children to come to our house to play with crystal mud. When she thought about the two children at home,The baby has to take a nap after lunch, and the three little girls will definitely make a lot of noise at home, which makes me frown a little. Xiaopai proposed to take all the materials to the lobby on the first floor to play, so I reluctantly agreed. When Ningning got up from her nap, I took her out to play and found Xiaopai\’s diary and some materials at the door. I was a little confused, so I went downstairs and asked, why did you leave your diary on the cabinet at the door? Unexpectedly, she said, we took turns playing with crystal mud, and while they were playing, I wrote a diary. After I finished writing, I wanted to take it home, but I was afraid that there would be a sound when I opened the door and disturb your nap, so I put it at the door. Hearing what she said, I was a little touched. Thank you for considering my and my sister\’s feelings. You didn\’t forget to write a diary after playing with crystal slime, which also reassured my mother. Cultivating children\’s awe does not mean asking children to obey you in everything, but through daily interaction between parents and children, let this beautiful relationship bond become, and make parents the most important influence on their children. Cultivating children\’s self-control is not through command and control, but through parents\’ own good words and deeds, becoming objects worthy of children\’s respect and imitation, so that children can respect and love their parents from the bottom of their hearts. I’d like to share a little insight with you recently.