How to improve children’s consciousness rather than enrolling them in tutoring classes

When I was walking on the road after dinner in the afternoon, I saw a friend carrying a child\’s schoolbag on his shoulder and holding the child in his hand. Seeing how eager she was, I asked with concern: \”Why is the child getting out of school so late?\” Unexpectedly, she had a grimace on her face, \”I was sending him to the math tutoring class after dinner, and I was hurrying to catch up. It was hard to go out today. It\’s a bit late.\” I was shocked. Her child looked about eight or nine years old, and should be in the second or third grade. Do children of this age need to attend remedial classes for basic courses? If you are attending a remedial class for arts or esoteric subjects, I can understand that there must not be many parents who are all-rounders; if the parents have low educational level, I can also understand. But the child only learned the basic knowledge of second and third grade, and my friend has a bachelor\’s degree. Her knowledge should be more than enough to teach her own child. This makes me a little confused. I casually told her my question, but she was so bitter: \”I have no choice but to do my homework at home. I told her a thousand times and didn\’t listen. I said it to him every night when he did his homework.\” I have to sit by my side and accompany him. When will he finish, when will I be able to rest? The most important thing is that he will ask me any questions without thinking at all. What can I do for such a child? He signed up for a remedial class and asked the teacher to teach him.\” My daughter also experienced this phenomenon when she first entered the first grade of elementary school, but I did not solve it like her. Because, I feel that enrolling children in tutoring classes just transfers the problems faced by parents to the tutors, asking the tutors to continue to accompany their children to do homework, and cover up the true problems with apparent success. In fact, the main problem with my friend\’s children is that they have not formed the habit of completing homework independently. The children still have the mentality of waiting, relying, and wanting when doing homework. The child has been pampered by his family since he was a child, and everything is done for him without having to use his own hands or brains for everything. After such children go to school, when they are suddenly faced with homework that needs to be completed alone, they have no confidence in their hearts and will still place their hopes on their parents. When my daughter was young, her grandparents, parents, and grandparents were all around her. She pointed at everything and we ran around in circles. This makes the child very dependent and wants us to do everything for her. After entering elementary school, her grandparents went to the countryside, and her father\’s job was transferred to other places, so the child\’s education relied entirely on me. Every day, I carried my bag on one shoulder and my child\’s schoolbag on the other, holding my child in my hand, and hurried back and forth between school and home. I lived such a busy life at that time, and I only regretted that I couldn\’t do anything at all. Even though I am so busy, my child\’s homework is still waiting for me to help her complete it. I cook while the children do their homework, but when I finish the meal, the children\’s homework books only contain questions but no answers. Asked her why she didn\’t have an answer, she said she wouldn\’t do it. I asked her to think, and she shook her head and said she couldn\’t think about it anymore. I said angrily, \”If you can\’t think about it, then don\’t do it.\” But the child immediately cried when he heard that, \”If you don\’t hand in your homework, you will be criticized by the teacher.\” The child cried so hard that he didn\’t even eat. He looked really serious. Pitiful. I sighed and comforted her, \”Let\’s eat with mom first, and then I\’ll teach you how to cook after eating.\” Only then will the child be happy. After eating, I sat at the deskI teach my children to do their homework, but their brains stop functioning and they wait for me to solve any problem. I was afraid that my child would not be able to rest well if I took care of him too late, so I had to use a pen to check the calculations and then let my child copy them into the homework book. Under my kind of education, the children\’s test scores will naturally be a mess. During the parent-teacher meeting, the teacher asked me to talk. She said: \”This child seems to be doing well in studies, but he will not be able to do well when he takes the exam.\” I timidly told the whole story. The teacher said in surprise: \”You are harming the child! You can help the child complete his homework now, but will you also go for the child during the college entrance examination?\” The teacher\’s words woke me up. This kind of love for children is like harming children. I am doing this. Ruining the child\’s future step by step. The famous educator Tao Xingzhi once said that conscious action requires appropriate training and then realization. Parents should believe that their children’s learning consciousness will be realized through their parents’ cultivation. When the children came home from school, they said that the teacher asked them to do a craft. For example, after learning the word \”eggplant\”, the teacher asked the children to use origami to cut an eggplant shape. The child kept saying that she couldn\’t do it. I knew that she had to rely on me again, so I insisted that I couldn\’t do it. The child didn\’t know what her mother was saying, so she burst into tears. I said it\’s useless for you to cry. You can only think of a way to do it yourself, and your mother will help you think about it. At first, the child just cried and didn\’t do anything, and I pretended to be helpless. After she saw no hope, she reluctantly took out paper, pen, and scissors. When she started to do it, I went to the side and paid attention to her. She couldn\’t draw the eggplant shape well, so I worked with her to find a way. Finally, she put origami paper over the eggplant shape on the book and drew it. After she finished drawing, she couldn\’t cut it, so I encouraged her to continue drawing and then continue cutting. Because of the drawing and cutting over and over again, my daughter\’s mouth was pouting, but I tried not to interfere. After doing this several times, my daughter no longer relies on me for her handiwork, and she becomes more and more proficient at doing it on her own. After it seemed that this method was very effective, I applied it to my children\’s homework again. She didn\’t know how to write, so she came to me with a sad face and asked me. I said mom can give you some advice, but mom herself isn\’t very good at writing. After several attempts to no avail, she would start writing on her own, and after she finished writing, I would give her some of my own opinions and let her refer to them for revision. Taking this as an example, I use this method for all Chinese and mathematics. The child gradually changed from being heavily dependent on it at the beginning to completing it independently. Then he became more motivated in his homework and began to think proactively. And the children\’s academic performance has been improving. In the series of changes in my children, I gained five insights. 1. Parents must let their children endure hardship. If the child does not want to complete the homework by himself and you become soft-hearted whenever he cries or makes a fuss, the child will never learn to be conscious. If he wants to cry, let him cry. If he wants to make a fuss, let him make a fuss. If he cries and makes a fuss, he will also be worried about his homework, because the teacher will ask him about his sin first the next day. Therefore, he is more anxious about completing the homework than you are. 2. Parents should be patient and accompany their children to solve problems. Psychological research shows that under normal circumstances, children aged 7-10 can maintain continuous attention for 20 minutes, 10-12 years old for about 25 minutes, and children over 12 years old for about 30 minutes. In other words, the child\’s continuous attention to one thingNo more than 30 minutes. Because the child\’s attention span is short, his homework will naturally end in an awkward manner and be full of mistakes. However, children have short attention spans and are impatient. On the contrary, parents must be very patient. When your child brings you an assignment full of errors in order to complete the task, you must carefully check the child\’s assignment, then use a pen to draw out the mistakes, and then ask him to correct it carefully. If he does not correct it, the name of his parents will be I won’t sign. After he has corrected it two or three times, you can explain to him the wrong questions again. At this time, you don\’t have to doubt that his brain is not working, because after you have forced him to the point several times, I believe he is already familiar with those questions. You explain it to him step by step and tell him why he did it wrong, so that the child will remember it. 3. Don’t easily enroll your children in basic course remedial classes. This does not mean that remedial classes are not good. It is true that some children’s grades have improved after entering remedial classes. However, this is only for children who study well and have strong learning consciousness. If you take a If children who are not very self-conscious about learning are placed in tutoring classes, I believe most parents will feel sad that the money spent is not as effective as they imagined. By letting your child easily enter a tutoring class, you are just reminding your child that there is another teacher to help you complete the homework. Think about it, there is only one child in the family who is not conscious about learning, and you feel that you can’t cope with it. Even if the teacher has professional knowledge and understands child psychology, he still has to deal with dozens of children, and it is impossible for him to stare at you. Do not let go of your child to cultivate his learning consciousness. Therefore, sending children to remedial classes will not have much effect on changing their dependence on learning. 4. Cultivate children’s ability to do things themselves in daily life. Harvard University conducted a survey and came to a surprising conclusion: children who love to do housework and children who don’t like to do housework have an employment rate of 15% as adults. :1, the crime rate is 1:10. In the process of children\’s growth, housework is inseparable from the development of children\’s motor skills, cognitive abilities and the cultivation of a sense of responsibility. We parents need to be aware of this. When eating, let the child hold his own chopsticks and bowl, and let him pick up his favorite dishes. After the meal, when there is time, let him help the parents sweep the floor and wipe the table. Let your children develop a good habit of doing things by themselves, so that they don’t have to rely on others for everything. If good habits are developed in life, they will also be applied to learning subconsciously. 5. Parents set more examples for their children. The famous educator Suhomlinsky pointed out that how a person spends his childhood, who leads the way in childhood, and what things in the world around him enter his mind and heart, these are all Determines what kind of person he will become. He very profoundly revealed the impact of parents\’ educational behavior on their children. Parents\’ attitude towards life and their character in doing things are all affecting their children. As parents of children, there are many things that you should do every day. If you shirk, procrastinate and cope with these things, then your children will be like you. The so-called \”children are the shadow of their parents\” means this. Therefore, parents should first be a role model for their children – they must be conscious in doing things, so that they can have a subtle education for their children.