What are good parents like? They all live to become their children’s idols.

I remember I once saw a survey of Chinese and American children. Ask your children who their idol is? Most Chinese children wrote about their favorite football stars and singers. American children are different. Although they have many different names, they are all very similar. Either the father\’s or the mother\’s name. This result caused a great response. Some people say that China is obviously a country that values ​​filial piety, but today’s children don’t know how to respect their parents. Some people also say that parents fail to guide their children properly and let their children watch some entertainment stars, which means their values ​​​​are wrong. What I want to say is that maybe our Chinese parents just haven’t learned how to be idols yet. Be your child’s idol. Some people say that good parents are outstanding and successful idols. why? We might as well take a look at what successful idols can bring to their fans. A good idol understands the hearts of his fans and respects his fans. Fans have always had the space and freedom to choose whether they love their idols or not. In fact, children are the same and need to have the opportunity to choose for themselves. How important is it to respect children’s right to choose? There is a singer who was very popular many years ago, Chen Meiling, who has recently come into everyone\’s attention. Because she sent all three sons to world-famous schools. This idol mother talked a lot about her parenting experience. She said don\’t set a schedule for your child and don\’t make choices for your child. Her son chose his own high school. He could have chosen one of the top three schools, but he chose seventh. My son said he enjoyed the extracurricular activities there. Chen Meiling never expressed doubt. Later, my son\’s high school life was very happy and he made progress in his studies. Bad idols often only think about what they can do to make themselves happy. Play big to your fans to make yourself feel superior. Nothing can hurt the hearts of fans the most, right? There is a very popular question on Zhihu: What is it like to be unable to communicate with your parents? Some people say: There is a kind of coldness that makes your mother think you are cold. Some people say that in the eyes of parents, children have no aesthetic taste or value judgment, so what they learn, use, and eat must be strictly determined. What\’s more, when a child expresses some dissatisfaction, parents will show their \”majesty\”: I am your God, how can you be lawless! If such a coffee could be a good idol, the world would be unimaginable. Such parents cannot be liked by their children and can only be kept at a distance. You must learn to be an idol who understands the sense of ritual! Of course, it’s not enough to just understand fans’ hearts and respect their ideas. Idols also need to find ways to capture the hearts of their fans and make them feel happy from the inside. Regarding feeling happy, in the popular fairy tale \”The Little Prince\”, a fox said this: For example, if you come at four o\’clock in the afternoon, then from three o\’clock onwards, I will start to feel happy. The closer the time comes, the happier I feel. By four o\’clock I will be restless and I will discover the price of happiness. The happiness this fox talks about is the sense of ritual. Just like what was said in \”The Little Prince\”, \”Life without a sense of ritual is too terrible. 365 days a year, except for eating, drinking and having sex, with no expectations, a repetitive and lackluster life, how bleak it would be.\”Light. \”Ritual is not only a form, but also a kind of power, a power full of expectations. Everyone needs a sense of ritual, and children are no exception. Every year before my nephew Kangkang starts school in the fall, my sister takes a day off. , took my brother-in-law and Kangkang to the photo studio to take family photos. We laughed at her, were we taking it too seriously? My sister said that this is the tradition of their family, and every grade is a new level. Sisters and husbands all want to record their children\’s growth in this way. Choosing a formal and professional photo studio makes Kangkang feel the grand feeling of reaching another level. Every breakthrough is accompanied by his parents. Not only Taking photos, new stationery, books… these all fill Kangkang with expectations. From holidays to the beginning of school, he can have different joys. Kangkang has now also learned his own ritual. Whenever school starts, he packs his bags. After the book cover, he would hold the new book and say to my sister: \”Mom, it\’s a new semester again. I\’ve grown up a little. Do you think I\’ve become more like an astronaut?\” \”As parents, we might as well imagine how disappointed our little fans would be if there was no sense of ceremony? On Father\’s Day this year, I happened to be borrowing tools from a neighbor\’s house, and his son ran over and gave him a greeting card. Above There were many exquisite pencil drawings, and even handwritten cursive English. It was obvious that the little guy had put in a lot of effort. The neighbor took it and took a look at it, then put it aside. After getting me the tools, he turned around Say to the child: Are you drawing these things in class again? I don’t need you to draw these things for me. Just listen to the class! Have you finished your homework? Not yet? Why don’t you hurry up? I was originally jumping The bouncing child seemed to wilted for a moment, tears began to well up in his eyes, and he slowly returned to his room. The neighbor turned back to me and said, \”Look at this child, doing this all day long is useless, what?\” When can I save some time? Without a sense of ritual, children will feel that they are not recognized by their parents. Correspondingly, it will be difficult for children to identify with their parents. A German newspaper conducted a survey and ranked the top 5% of outstanding people in various fields. When young people were young, they often held traditional family activities at home. In the survey, they were asked what was the happiest moment in their lives? Their answer was not academic or career success when they grew up, but these family activities when they were young. . Those who bring them this kind of happiness are, of course, their own family members. Just like idols bring warmth and touch to their fans, parents can also use ritualistic activities to bring more warm memories to their children. Learn to be a The idol of fun. The famous psychologist, Carl Rogers, once said: The most important thing in a person\’s life is the ability to have fun. This year\’s Oscar for Best Supporting Actor is the famous actor Sam Rockaway Er. When he was giving his speech, he talked about his childhood \”idol\”: One day when he was 8 years old, he was having a good class at school. Suddenly he was called to the principal\’s office and found that his father was actually there. His father spoke to him very seriously. Said: \”It\’s about your grandmother. \”After he left the school and sat in the car, he couldn\’t help but asked worriedly: \”What\’s wrong with grandma?What a? Dad\’s demeanor changed: \”Grandma is fine, let\’s go watch a movie!\” \”After listening to his story about this \”idol\”, the audience couldn\’t stop laughing. Perhaps it was his father\’s fun that cultivated the inspired Rockwell. How could such an idol not be able to stop laughing? How about being popular with children? Ordinary family life, day after day, looks the same. But if parents use an idol mentality and sentiment to add more fun to their children, the results will be very different. Life can be It is ordinary, but it does not mean boring. For children to fully experience the world, fun is essential. This is the most important responsibility of parents, as their children’s idols. Even sad days can be like idol dramas , become colorful. Why is it said that good parents are the best idols in the eyes of their children? Because children can see the direction of their hearts from your words and deeds; from your behavior, Learn the necessary rituals and norms for life; feel this beautiful world and the future from your smile. May we all become the brightest super stars in the eyes of our children.