Shenzhen child abuse case: What really kills children is not domestic violence, but the fall of the bottom class

/ Shenzhen Child Abuse Case / \”Some people deserve to be poor and deserve to die poor.\” This sentence was said to the parents of the recent Shenzhen child abuse case. After the video comes out, I believe anyone who watches it will not be able to help but tremble. Don\’t tell me if you are a father or a mother, I just want to ask: \”Are you human beings? Beating like this?\” In just 4 minutes of video, there are hundreds of severe beatings: the big ears are scratched and slapped directly to the ground, and the person is rolling on the ground; He picked up the broom and whipped it hard on his shoulders and back; he grabbed his hair as if he was holding a hanged man, and hit his head on the floor with a bang; he kicked his foot and flew over to the little boy sitting on the chair. The girl flew to the ground in an instant. When eating, I didn\’t forget to hit him. As he was eating, he put down his bowls and chopsticks, and suddenly came over to grab his hair, and kicked him once, twice, or three times with his flying feet. This is not beating a child, this is beating an enemy, a blood feud. My mother would beat me, my father would beat me too. When I came home from work, when I saw him, I would whip out the big ear scraper and beat him with a wooden stick as thick as his arm. To be honest, I watched the 4-minute video without crying, and my eyes were filled with tears. You should have cried too, and you must also think that this is not a normal person, and no beast would treat a child like this. Yes, even animals can\’t do it, but people can. The most common saying we hear is that home is a warm haven. For this little girl, home is her hell. Some parents will make you so scared that you regret being born. △The little girl who was beaten in the Shenzhen child abuse case / What is more terrifying than domestic violence is the fall of the bottom / Why do I say that some people deserve to be poor, but like the parents of the little girl in the video, they deserve to die from poverty. This is domestic violence, but I don’t just want to talk about domestic violence today. What I saw from this video was more about something other than domestic violence and the degradation of the bottom class. What is the fall of the bottom? The famous American journalist Catherine Boo wrote a book, \”Underground City\”. She went undercover in the underground life of India\’s largest slum and wrote a documentary about the real life in the slum. \”Underground City\” reveals a very cruel reality: the poorer the family, the more people live at the bottom of society. Their descendants will most likely become poor and live at the bottom of society. This is the fall of the bottom. Those who live at the bottom of society, their descendants will also be at the bottom of society, without new hope. Poor people have low wages. In order to earn more money, they have to do more work. Their free time is compressed and they have no energy channels to learn new skills and improve themselves. The busier you are, the poorer you are; or because you are poor, you have no time to cook, cannot afford organic food, and cannot afford a fitness card, so you can only eat junk food from fast food restaurants; you have no energy to exercise, so you just lie down and sit when you are free. ,play cell phone. The poorer you are, the fatter you are, the worse your health condition is; it is also because you are poor and at the bottom of society, you may look down on yourself, simply abandon yourself, use the most primitive means to deal with others, conquer, violence, roar, have extremely poor emotional control, initiate Crazy is more terrifying than an animal – this is what the parents of the little girl look like in the video. Domestic violence is certainly terrifying, but what is even more terrifying is the fact that the bottom class falls on top of domestic violence. /The endless cycle of poverty is violence/There is a scene in the TV series \”Dajiang Dahe\” that left a particularly deep impression on me. Song Yunhui\’s family, at 7In the 1900s, my father was labeled as a villain, criticized, and decentralized. The family of four lived in a dilapidated old house for nearly ten years. My father was originally an intellectual. During that period, he could not read and had to do farm work every day to support his family. The life was extremely hard. But this is a family like this. After the college entrance examination policy was liberalized, Song Yunhui and his sister Song Yunping were both admitted to college. Song Yunhui, in particular, became the number one scholar in their county. It is hard to imagine that in that era, getting into college was like going to heaven. This poor and run-down family actually had two college students and one top scholar. One small detail impressed me. After Song Yunhui was admitted to college, he came back for dinner. His father asked him to have two drinks with him, and the drinks were served to both of them. The mother sat aside and watched her husband pour so much wine for her son. She was a little angry and slapped him: \”Why did you let him drink so much? You can just drink it, and the son can drink it.\” The father waved his hand slightly. : \”It\’s okay.\” His father looked up and said, Song Yunhui also took a big sip, and his mother scolded his father: \”Look, you choked your son.\” Sister Song Yunping was also busy patting her brother on the back and said to her father: \”What are you doing?\” Let your brother drink so much!\” The father just smiled and continued eating. You see, it’s just a small detail, but you can see the family style of this home: tolerance, respect, love, and full of free space. A child who grows up in this kind of family, even if he does not take the first prize, will most likely have a good life in the future. At least, he will know how to respect others, love and be loved. The same is true of poverty, and the family tradition of some families only has one word: fight. There is a question on Zhihu: \”For those who have been poor for three generations, the whole family falls into an endless cycle of poverty. What is the root cause?\” One answer is: \”Domestic violence.\” You cannot be poor for three generations, but as long as domestic violence continues, poverty will Passed from generation to generation. A long time ago, I wrote an article about Yuzhang Academy. Many parents sent their children to this kind of academy in order to make their children sensible, and their children were abused here. A reader left a message: \”What is more terrifying than being abused at school is being abused by your own parents.\” She has been beaten by her parents since she was a child. Once, her mother was chatting with a male colleague downstairs until very late. Make a meal and wait for mom to come back to eat together. From 6 pm until 9 pm, she stretched her head and looked out the window. Her mother was still chatting with her male colleague. She shouted softly: \”Mom, it\’s half past nine, it\’s time to have dinner.\” Because of this sentence, five minutes later, her mother came up, opened the door, picked up a big wooden stick, and used all her strength to He swung the stick at her body and hit her arm, which was fractured at that time. He put the untouched meal on the table for her and put the bowl directly on her head: \”Eat, eat, eat, eat!\” He grabbed her hair and hit her against the wall, and beat her again. Vegetables and oil were left on the head, mixed with blood, and flowed from the neck into the chest. \”At that time, I felt like I was going to die.\” Because she was beaten often, her mother always hit her with her right hand. Every time she saw her mother raising her right hand, she would cry out of fear as a reflex. Until she grew up, she would always hit her with her right hand. When I see someone raising their right hand, I can\’t help but feel fear and tremble. In medicine, this is a stress reaction. This has been her life almostShe is not considered a normal person no matter in the workplace, in the social field, or at home. She never believed that there was love in this world. She doesn\’t know how to face her colleagues and leaders correctly, and she doesn\’t know how to fall in love. She doesn\’t dare to express her needs, so she can only bear the oppression of everyone in silence. She has been in a marriage, and her husband cheated on her. He also beat her in front of the mistress, and she kneeled down to beg for mercy as if reflexively, crying and saying: \”Don\’t hit me, don\’t hit me.\” Such humiliation. How can a person who has only been treated with violence, a person who has never been loved, love others? How to accept love from others? How can a person who doesn\’t even have the basic ability to love and accept being loved climb up in this society? Why is the root cause of the endless cycle of poverty said to be domestic violence? A study by Stanford University in the United States shows that a child who has experienced violence all year round, or a child who lives in violence, will rationalize violence and believe that violence is one of the main ways of dealing with the world. what does that mean? This means that if they have a child, they will still use violence against him. They will not think that violence is wrong, they will think that violence is normal. I watched a public welfare short film \”Verbal Violence Can Become a Weapon\”. The director interviewed six young criminals in prison. One was a murderer with a gun and two were a murderer with a knife. The director asked them to talk about their families. Without exception, their parents either beat or scolded them. You may also be saying these words that are said the most. Many Chinese parents are saying: \”Pig brain\”, \”trash\”, \”Why don\’t you die\”, \”I am better than you as a human\”, these words are said from the parents\’ mouths When they came out, they were like knives piercing into the hearts of these children, causing them to bleed, but no one saw them. Evil slowly breeds in these hearts, so if you call them trash, they really become trash; if you let the child die, the child will really kill someone with a knife. \”Every bad word from a parent may become a murder weapon that strangles a child\’s life.\” This is true of verbal violence, not to mention domestic violence of beating to death with punches and kicks. Violence is hereditary, passed from one generation to the next. But what makes people despair is not the violence, but the disgust conveyed through violence, that kind of disgusted look, that kind of ferocity that wants to kill you, which always makes you feel that your life is a mistake, and your existence has no meaning at all. , you shouldn’t have come to this world at all, you are a cheap person. /What is more important than education is giving children love/Catherine Boo said in \”Underground City\”: \”The only way to break the cycle of poverty is education.\” My opinion is that if violence and poverty are combined, To end poverty, we must first end violence. In other words, what is more important than educating your child is giving him love. This is a commonplace topic that many people think is nonsense, but this video and so many domestic child abuse incidents will let you know that this is not nonsense. Many people simply don’t know what it means to give love to a child. Giving him love means telling him: your existence is meaningful, you can bring us joy and positive energy, and you are not useless in this world. Giving him love means telling him: there are people around youHuman, you are not alone in the world, even your parents are enemies. Giving him love means telling him: you are popular, and many people in this world are paying attention to you, so you have to be kind to yourself. The love you give him is to affirm his value, give him warmth and strength, give him companionship, and make him feel important. When a person is loved by others, he will begin to love himself, just like a seed, with sunshine, it will have the power to face it, change, and birth. The scariest thing about being a parent is that you don’t have to take exams. Whether you are a parent or not, no matter how old your child is, I have to tell you: Either don’t have children, Dink, live by yourself, just take care of yourself, no one will talk about you. When you give birth to a child, you must give him love and patience, keep your home warm, squat down and hug him more often; make more money, don\’t be poor, try your best to let him go to a better school and travel further; even if you are poor , you must also bear it. This is the consequence that you should have thought of when you made the decision to have a child. While making money, you must also set aside time for your child. You have your own job, but being a parent is also your job. . / Consistent educational philosophy: People have the right to be free from the control of others’ arbitrary wills / Hayek has a very classic saying in the \”Charter of Freedom\”: \”People have the right to be free from the control of their arbitrary wills.\” Anyone, At any time, he has basic human rights, and no one else can control him by relying on his own arbitrary will. The same goes for parents. This sentence should become the basic educational principle for parents. You can guide your child\’s growth, and you should guide your child\’s growth, but you must not control your child, especially by relying on arbitrary will. The so-called arbitrary will refers to when you are emotional and when you make a judgment based on only a small amount of information. If you don’t know what it means to be a good parent, then you should do at least two things: first, do not use violence on your children: any violence is wrong; any violence on the grounds that a naughty child is difficult to control and raise is Incorrect. Many parents will describe violence in a beautiful way, such as \”I am doing it for your own good.\” That\’s nonsense. Most violent behaviors are done to save parents trouble. There is no need to explain the reason or lead by example. Just give them a beating. That\’s too much. Save trouble. You can put your child in confinement, you can punish him for running, you can punish him for doing chores, but you just can\’t use violence. Why use violence? There are a thousand good ways to educate, why use violence? Second, do not insult your child in public, especially on the street. Insulting your child in the street will only make him feel that he is an alien in this world, make him feel that his life is low, and everyone will look down on him. Over time, the foundation of his life will be destroyed by you. As a human being, please be kind. You are born to be a parent and educate others, so please be basically kind. In the end, I felt a little chilled. The power of the Internet has become so powerful. Yang Mi\’s divorce can make headlines in minutes, and Eason Chan\’s daughter can be discussed even if she falls in love. There are so many children who live in hell, devastated, and out of sight. It’s hard to imagine that if the video hadn’t been exposed this time, thisHow long would a little girl have to endure inhumane treatment? To put it mildly, she might even be beaten to death. The Internet has no memory, and people’s eyes are always moving with the next hot search. But this time, I want to let the Internet have some warmth and make this temperature last a little longer. In addition to the little girls in Shenzhen, there are many children who have suffered inhuman abuse. Here, I quote some cases described by Zhihu netizen Longitude and Latitude: [1] In Chengdu, Sichuan, a man named Liu Guoquan beat him 17 times in 8 hours. My son, Yangyang, pulled his hair, scratched his head, hit the wall, and beat him with his shoe. [2] Shantou police received a report from Ms. Li that she saw on QQ space that a netizen with an address in Chaonan District, Shantou City, Guangdong Province posted photos of the netizen abusing children at home. The child in the photo was beaten until his face was covered in blood. 【3】A little girl was beaten into panda eyes by her stepmother, and her eyes could only be narrowed into a slit to continue walking. There are many more cases. After these cases were exposed, the public security agencies intervened and were properly handled. But there are still many children, just like the little girl in Shenzhen in the video at the beginning of this article. They are out of sight and suffer inhumane treatment. I don’t want to quietly disappear after this incident caused an uproar. I hope it can at least make us pay attention to the living conditions of some children, and give them more attention in this era of celebrity traffic. At least when we see child abuse, we can step forward, stop it in time, call the police, and let the public security organs intervene. Children are the group that should enjoy the most privileges in this society. They should be protected, smile innocently, jump around, and have red scarves flying on their chests; they should not live in the shadow of violence and have no one care about them.