This book \”Yan\’s Family Instructions\” has already explained all the diseases that parents today have to educate their children.

If jade is not polished, it will become useless. If parents do not educate their children, even if it is good quality and beautiful jade, the children will not grow up. If parents teach their children in the wrong way, the children will become bad. This \”Yan Family Instructions\” has already explained all the diseases that parents today have to educate their children. Symptom 1: Only teaches people how to make a living, but not the fundamentals. Jaspers said: \”Education is the education of the soul, rather than the accumulation of knowledge and skills.\” In today\’s highly competitive society, most parents\’ attitude towards their children\’s education is: let their children learn whatever is tested and what they need. Just learn whatever you want. If you take the English test, you will never learn French; if you take the piano test, you will never practice dancing. Today\’s parents only teach their children the skills to make a living, but do not teach them the fundamentals of establishing themselves. I tell a story. Yan Zitui, the ancient Chinese educator and author of \”Yan Family Instructions\”, met a colleague once when he went to court. A colleague shared his parenting experience with him: \”My son is seventeen years old this year. He is proficient in writing official documents. I also taught him the Xianbei language and how to play the pipa. These are things that high-ranking officials and ministers like. When he masters them a little, I can then send him to work with the ministers, and he will be highly valued in the future, and you should be too, this is very important.\” Yan Zhitui lowered his head at that time and did not answer. After he returned home, he said to his children: \”If you become a minister through this career, I don\’t want you to do it.\” If you can teach your children these things to become high officials, I don\’t want you to do this. Kant said: When parents educate their children, they usually just prepare them to adapt to the current world-even if it is a fallen world. Even if children can succeed by being groveling and catering to the world, wise parents never want their children to do it. Real education is a process of growth, not just for future life. Parents love their children and have far-reaching plans. Hu Xueyan also said: \”When you look at a child, you should look at his character, not his talents.\” Parents should pay more attention to the cultivation of their children\’s personality, learn to stick to their true intentions amidst the chaos, and achieve success and happiness in life. Symptom 2: The child is still young and needs to be taught when he grows up. Children throw bricks and hit people, hit classmates at school, throw paper towels into the soup pot while eating hot pot… Parents will say: The child is still young, it will be fine when he grows up. Because you are young, you can forgive anything. Educator Locke once said: \”Most people make a major mistake in educating their children, that is, they do not make children\’s spirits accustomed to obeying restraints and obeying reason when they are at their weakest and most easily controlled.\” Bacon said: \”Habit is really a kind of tenacious and powerful spirit. It is a huge force that can dominate a person\’s life. Therefore, people should cultivate a good habit through education from an early age.\” Children are like seedlings. Only when they are cultivated properly can they sprout and grow. Otherwise, the young will be damaged and will not die young. It’s also difficult to become useful. In ancient times, there was a so-called \”prenatal education\” method. When the royal concubines were three months pregnant, they had to move to a special palace to live in a special palace. professionals to teach them benevolence, filial piety and etiquette. \”Yan\’s Family Instructions\” says: When babies are young and can recognize people\’s colors, emotions, and anger, they will give instructions to do what they want to do and stop when they stop. When children know their moods, anger, and facial expressions, they should be encouraged toDiscipline, so that you will know what to do and what not to do. Children must be educated as early as possible so that they can be sensible when they grow up. If everything is just like \”the children are still young\”, it will be too late to regret that the children will not become adults when they grow up. Symptom 3: Not knowing how to let go and doting on children. It is said that parents are the most selfless people in the world. They are willing to wash and cook for their children, serve tea and hand over bowls, thinking that this is for the good of their children. When the child grows up, he has good grades and a lot of knowledge, but he can\’t tie his shoes or wear clothes. Behind every ineffective child, there is a parent who refuses to let go. Maugham said: \”Young people have high expectations when they grow up. Fairy tales and fantasy are their spiritual food, but these cannot allow them to adapt to real life. If their illusions are not completely shattered, they will be miserable and depressed.\” And they The reason why he ended up in this situation is all because of the jealous people around him: his parents and teachers, they all cared for him and doted on him in every possible way. During the reign of Emperor Yuan of Liang Dynasty, there was a bachelor who was smart and talented and was very favored by his father. If he said something beautiful, the father would want the whole world to know about it, and he would talk about it every day; but if he said a word wrong, he would cover it up in every possible way, hoping in his heart that his son could silently change it on his own. Later, the bachelor\’s violent and arrogant temper gradually grew, and he was eventually killed by those in power because of his improper words. It is human nature to love children, but most parents tend to love without teaching. When love becomes unconditional pampering and care, no matter how selfless and affectionate it is, it is still a knife that can kill someone! \”Yan\’s Family Instructions\” says: If a mortal cannot educate his children, it is not because he wants to be guilty of his crimes, but it is more important than hurting his color with anger, and not being able to bear the pain on his skin and ears. Parents who dote on their children will eventually suffer the consequences of life. What is worth teaching their children is always something that makes people strong. Human life is like a rushing flood, and we need to encounter islands and reefs. We must have the courage and ability to face life directly in order to stir up beautiful waves. Children have a long road ahead, and parents will not always accompany them. Knowing how to let go at the right time and let children face life is the best education. Symptom 4: Intimacy without dignity. There is a voice in the education industry today – be friends with children, so that you can get into their hearts. But later I discovered that the children in this kind of family are simply lawless, disobedient, and even beat and scold their parents. As the saying goes, \”If your name is not right, your words will not go smoothly; if your words are not right, your things will not happen.\” When your child really treats you as a close friend, it will be difficult for you to educate him from a parent\’s perspective to achieve the desired results. \”Yan\’s Family Instructions\” says: The strictness between father and son cannot be estranged; the love between flesh and blood cannot be simplified. Father and son should not be too close and should keep a certain distance. Otherwise, it will appear rude and the children will easily lose their respect, thus slacking off their parents. If parents are majestic and kind, then their children will be cautious and filial. Only by maintaining an appropriate distance between father and son, being intimate and dignified can they educate their children well. Symptom 5: Partial treatment, cracks in flesh and blood. The little girl Cui Jing in \”The Story of Youth\” once cried to her father: Why do you never understand what I think! In her life, everything must be given to her sister, as long as her sisterIf my sister complains, her father will scold her regardless of the crime. Rarely do people love their children equally. From ancient times to the present, it is rare for parents to be impartial. I read a statistic that in families with multiple children, more than 68% of older siblings have been asked by their parents to give in to their younger siblings. But many parents probably don\’t know: Although they want to be generous to those who favor them, they will end up causing disaster. There was an answer on Zhihu: \”Every time my parents beat and scold me because of my younger brother, I will beat my younger brother harder, and as the number of times increases, I feel less and less guilty about beating my younger brother.\” During the Northern and Southern Dynasties, Langya King Gao Yan was the half-brother of Prince Gao Wei. He was intelligent by nature and loved by his parents. His clothes and food were the same as those of the prince. Every time the emperor saw him, he said: \”This child is smart and will definitely achieve great things in the future.\” Later, the prince succeeded to the throne and King Langya moved to another palace, but the queen mother still felt that it was not enough and often talked about it. Gao Yan was only a teenager, and he was arrogant and extravagant. Whenever he was slightly dissatisfied, he would say, \”Why do I not have what the emperor has?\” Anyone with a discerning eye would know at a glance that this was a replica of Zheng Bike and Duan Yuyan. Sure enough, Gao Yan was eventually executed by the emperor for falsely transmitting imperial edicts and killing important court officials. As for Wu Jiang and Gongshu Duan, his parents\’ partial favor only brought them disaster. When it comes to treating children, they are most afraid of being judged as good or bad in comparison. Children who are neglected are bound to be hurt mentally, and children who are favored are also prone to unexpected harm. \”Yan Family Instructions\”: Virtuous and handsome people should be loved and loved, and stubborn people should also be pitied. It\’s not about scarcity but about inequality. All the conflicts between brothers and sisters today are ultimately caused by unfair treatment by their parents. Nowadays, the country encourages having two children and taking care of two children. Parents must treat them equally. Educationist Makarenko said: \”Children\’s first teachers are their parents. Every word, every move, every look, and even the invisible spiritual world will have a subtle influence on the child.\” Love children It is something that hens can also do, but to be good at educating them requires talent and profound knowledge of life. I hope we can learn from the wisdom of the ancients from the book \”Yan Family Instructions\” to solve the problems of today\’s parents educating their children.