Do children have to suffer setbacks? To love a child requires him to endure these four kinds of suffering

There is no free suffering in the world. The hardships you endure today pave the way for a better tomorrow. \”Warring States Policy\” says: Parents who love their children have far-reaching plans. During the Warring States Period, the State of Qin launched a large-scale attack on the State of Zhao. The State of Zhao had no choice but to ask for help from the State of Qi. However, the State of Qi required the Empress Dowager Zhao\’s youngest son, Lord Chang\’an, to be taken as a hostage in the State of Qi before it would send troops. However, the State of Zhao doted on Lord Chang\’an and refused to agree. So Master Zuo Chulong advised her: Chang\’an Lord has a generous salary but no merits now, so what will he rely on to gain a foothold in the Zhao Kingdom a hundred years from now? Although this story has passed more than two thousand years, the principles contained in it are still applicable. Parents\’ love for their children should not only be reflected in temporary doting, but should also plan for the long term so that the children can still live a good life after leaving the care of their parents. Writer Turgenev said: Do you want to be a happy person? Then you must first learn to endure hardship. Those who can endure hardship can endure all misfortunes, and there is no difficulty in the world that cannot be overcome. Far-sighted parents, no matter how much they love their children, are willing to let them endure these four kinds of suffering. The Suffering of Independence Do you still remember the popular story \”Fried Eggs with Tomatoes\” on WeChat Moments last year? An international student who first arrived in the United States wanted to make tomato scrambled eggs to entertain his classmates. However, he neither knew how to beat eggs nor cut tomatoes, nor did he know whether to put eggs or tomatoes first when cooking. So he sent a voice message to his mother in China for help. Her mother quickly sent voice guidance, but the boy still didn\’t understand. There was no other way, so the mother had no choice but to demonstrate it herself, recorded it as a video and sent it to her son. Under his mother\’s detailed guidance, the boy finally completed the most common and basic traditional Chinese delicacy, and was praised by his classmates. It wasn\’t until the end of the video that the boy realized that his mother got up at 4 a.m. to show him how to make tomato scrambled eggs. Many people were moved by the video and praised: There is no quiet time, it\’s just that someone is carrying the load for you. But what more people see is that boys are not independent. They are at an age where they can get married and have children. When encountering such a trivial matter, the first thing they think of is \”finding a mother\”, a proper mother\’s baby. Nowadays, children in primary school all know that if they don’t understand something, they can ask Baidu, and they can ask Google when they are abroad. Why do they have to get their mother up in the middle of the night to demonstrate it in person? Some people feel sorry for the mother in the video. It is undeniable that she loves her son, but they also have to admit that they are the ones who caused the current situation. When the children are around, they are not taught to be independent. When the children are far away, they have to suffer the pain of \”not being independent\”. Peng Kaiping, dean of the Academy of Social Sciences at Tsinghua University, said: Real education is not about cultivating plants in a greenhouse, but about helping children build a complete personality and teaching them to face the world alone. But parents often love their children very much and often say: Just study and don’t worry about anything else. So I do everything for my children and think about my children. This is not wrong, but can parents raise their children for a lifetime? If not, it is better to let go and teach your child to be independent so that he has the ability and courage to face the world alone. In this way, even if one day they lose such strong support as their parents, the children can continue to move forward along the original track of life. The bitterness of studying. On the way back from Dragon Boat Festival, I met a man.I chatted with a fellow countryman for a few words and found out that he had just finished his college entrance examination. Ask him, how did he feel about the test? He said it was much better than last year. At this time last year, he finished the college entrance examination, but his score was only enough to go to a vocational and technical college. His parents asked him to repeat the exam, but he refused. Instead, I went to work with a group of classmates. I didn\’t have much expectations at first. I just wanted to earn tuition before school started in September. But I didn\’t expect it to be so little. They work hard every day and can only earn 1,000 yuan a month. Although room and board are included, the accommodation environment is very bad and there is always a faint smell of urine. Within a few days, several of the classmates who came with him ran back in despair. At that time, he wanted to fight for a breath and felt that he could still hold on. A month later, when it was time to pay wages, the factory told them that they would wait a month before they were paid. He instantly collapsed. At the right time, his parents asked him to repeat his studies again, so he went back. However, it was not easy to repeat his studies, but no matter how hard it was, it was not as hard as working at that time. He said: \”Studying is hard, but it is hard work with dignity. When working, I often feel that I am not a person, but a working machine.\” This year, he got up at 5:30 every morning and worked at 12 I went to bed at half past midnight and persisted for 365 days. The finished test paper was one meter high. When I was young and frivolous, I always felt that studying was the hardest thing in the world. Only after I passed that age did I realize that studying was the best way in the world. I watched the admissions promotion videos of Peking University and Tsinghua University a few days ago, and I was deeply moved. If I could go back in time, I would really like to tell myself when I thought studying was hard: work harder and get into a better school, it will really make a difference. The child is ignorant, but the parents are experienced. When your child wants to be lazy, force him. When he wants to give up, encourage him. One day, he will be grateful for the hard work he endured to study today. In the variety show \”Fengwei\” about growing up, Jay Chou once vented his bitterness to Nicholas Tse. When he was a child, his mother used a cane to urge him to practice piano. At first, Jay Chou told his mother that he liked painting, so her mother enrolled him in an art class, but he gave up after persisting for a while. After he switched to piano, in order to keep his son going, his mother would stand behind him with a cane every time he practiced. If he got tired of playing or peeked at his friends playing outside the window, the cane in his mother\’s hand would be knocked down hard. In addition, his mother also hired a very professional and strict piano teacher for him. Whenever he made a mistake in playing, the piano teacher would hit his hand with a cane. Jay Chou said that he felt very painful at the time and even wanted to give up. Now that I think about it, I am very grateful to my mother: her strictness in the beginning made me what I am today. I even wrote a song \”Listen to Mom\” ​​to thank my mother. Coincidentally, Liu Xianhua also said frankly in \”The Longing for Life\”: \”I am very, very grateful to my parents.\” When he was a child, he was forced by his parents to learn violin. He also resisted, but his parents did not allow him to give up. He didn\’t like playing the violin until he was eleven or twelve years old, then he entered his first competition and from then on he started to like it. In essence, everyone is similar. They will instinctively resist and avoid things that are difficult or require hardship, and children are no exception. But when they go through that painAfter experiencing hard times and gaining new opportunities, I will often thank myself and my strict parents for having the courage to set out. \”Gintama\” says: On the road to success, there are no shortcuts or techniques, and the only secret to reaching the end is – never give up, keep moving forward! If you endure hardships for growth, you will eventually transform into a butterfly. Director Jiang Wen spent a whole year taking his two sons, aged 6 and 4, to Aksu, Xinjiang to receive militarized training. The Aksu area has a huge temperature difference between day and night. At 6:30 in the morning, it was extremely cold. Jiang Wen would wake up the children and drag them to run. They were not allowed to go home until they finished running. His sons don\’t like to drink goat\’s milk, and he doesn\’t tolerate them. In addition, his daily diet is based on local customs. Slowly, the children gradually adapted from being unaccustomed to it at first. Jiang Wen said that the children have grown from \”bean sprouts\” to \”yew trees\”. When his wife Zhou Yun came to visit, the children\’s skin was not only rough, but also had two patches of plateau red on their faces. But it is obvious that their self-care ability has improved. They can tidy up their own rooms and help with cleaning. Jiang Wen said that the food that children today lack most is not nutrition, but suffering. Fu Peirong said that enduring hardship is not to surpass others, but to face the true face of life, because in suffering, life has no cover and can show its depth, breadth and height. Children who have endured hardship understand that life is not easy and that every meal is hard-earned. Their impression of life is no longer limited to the \”sweat drops in the soil, every grain of hard work\” in the textbooks, but is truly based on their current experiences. Children who have endured hardship cherish their current life more. They know how to be grateful, are more considerate of their parents\’ difficulties, and are more resilient. When encountering difficulties, they are stronger than their peers. Zhang Ailing said that because she understands, she is compassionate. This sentence is also applicable to children. Teach them the hardships of life and lead them to understand the ups and downs of life, so that they will naturally understand that everything is hard-won. Mr. Yang Jiang said: \”If you want to train a person who can do great things, you must make him endure hardships and be unsatisfied, so that he can develop a persevering character. After different levels of training, a person will obtain different levels of cultivation, and different levels of cultivation will be achieved. Benefits of degree. Just like spices, the more you pound them, the finer they are ground, the stronger the fragrance becomes.\” There is no such thing as suffering in vain. The suffering you endure today will pave the way for a better tomorrow. Never let your children choose comfort at an age when they should endure hardship. Only by being willing to let your children endure hardship can you gain a different life.