When praising your children, stop saying you are awesome! Smart babies all come from these 15 sentences

We all know that the growth of children\’s inner strength is stimulated through encouragement, and we also know that encouragement is the most important and most effective means of education. However, many parents often confuse \”praise\” and \”encouragement\”, thinking that both are spiritual motivations to encourage people to be positive and keep moving forward. We can look at the following three stories first. Case 1: A parent complained in a parent exchange group that his child had a low frustration level. When playing chess with his classmates, he would cry when he lost. The classmates were no longer willing to play chess with him. When I play jigsaw puzzles at home, I feel aggrieved and even cry when I can\’t figure it out. This parent said that he has always paid attention to praise and education and has always been very positive about him. Even if something is not done satisfactorily, he will praise him and will not punish him. Case 2: I met a mother who really took praise to the “extreme” level. After the child carefully read a book, she praised, \”The baby is awesome!\” The child built a castle with toys, and she praised, \”The baby is so smart!\” The child ate food from a clean bowl by herself, and she praised, \”The baby is so good!\” Even when the child went to the toilet on his own, he praised, \”The baby is amazing.\” However, her child was a little timid and lacked self-confidence. Case 3: A young man who was praised by his parents and grew up has been out of work since graduation. All his classmates have found jobs, but he has been living in a jobless life. After working for many years, his parents finally couldn\’t hold it any longer and asked him why he didn\’t find a company to start at the grassroots level and learn from it? He asked back: \”What do you mean by working at the grassroots level? Doing sales? Doing errands? In your eyes, your son is so worthless? I rely on my brain to earn my living, not my labor.\” His parents couldn\’t find a reason to refute. The above three stories are all related to praise and praise, but the growth trajectory of the children in the stories is not as expected by the parents. It is obvious that the children have been \”badly praised\”. Many parents do not know how to praise or encourage their children. Most of them fall into the misunderstanding of \”excessive praise\” or \”inappropriate praise\” and mistake encouraging education for unmeasured praise. This is why their children lose their temper under the excessive praise. The ability to resist imperfection. Praise is like candy. If used too much or too blindly, children may become addicted and tend to please others, causing children to deviate from their deep understanding and creation of \”self-worth.\” Why do we praise our children? It is nothing more than wanting children to be encouraged and gain confidence, courage and progress. As children grow up, they need to go through a long period of hard work. At this time, parents\’ encouragement plays a big role. It\’s like a shot in the arm and a placebo that makes them feel like they\’re not alone in this endeavor. Some people say, yes, so I praise the children and encourage them! In fact, praise ≠ encouragement. There is such a true story. When a mother attended a parent-teacher meeting in a kindergarten, the teacher said: \”Your son has ADHD and can\’t sit on the bench for three minutes.\” She encouraged her son like this: \”The teacher praised you and said that the baby couldn\’t sit on the bench. One minute, and now he can sit for three minutes. Other parents are very envious of his mother, because only the baby in the class has improved.\” That night, her son ate two bowls of rice for the first time and did not let her feed him. When attending a parent-teacher meeting in elementary school,The teacher said: \”There are 50 students in the class. In this math test, your son ranked 49th. I suspect that he has some mental retardation. You\’d better take him to the hospital for a checkup.\” She encouraged her son like this: \”Teacher I have full confidence in you. He said that you are not a stupid child. As long as you are more careful, your grades will definitely surpass those of many classmates.\” After hearing this, his dim eyes suddenly brightened. The next day, my son went to school earlier than usual. When attending a parent-teacher meeting in junior high school, the teacher said: \”Based on your son\’s current grades, it is a bit dangerous to get into a key middle school.\” She encouraged her son like this: \”The head teacher is very satisfied with you. He said that as long as you work hard, you can get into a key middle school.\” No problem.\” After his son was admitted to a prestigious university, he said to his mother affectionately: \”Mom, I know I am not a smart child, but your encouragement has made me what I am today…\” From a psychological point of view, encouragement first It is a kind of respect that respects children’s right to choose their own understanding and actions. Secondly, it is a kind of trust, believing that the child has the ability to recognize and act. The third is another kind of letting go, acknowledging that the child has the ability to understand and act. This is the most important principle in cultivating children\’s self-awareness, because these three points are the source of children\’s self-worth. Every child longs for recognition and praise from his parents. Appropriate praise can enhance the child\’s self-confidence and make the child like and be willing to do something. However, praise is also a technical task. If used in the wrong way, not only will it fail to encourage, but it may destroy the child\’s courage and confidence to try. How to encourage children correctly and effectively? The following 15 suggestions are worth learning from. You work very hard! ——Praise for hard work. When your child presents you with a beautiful piece of work, don’t be carried away by joy. Please remember to recognize the hard work and effort he put in for it. Although it was difficult, you never gave up – praise perseverance when a child completes something that is very challenging for him, such as thinking hard about a Go endgame, trying the high climbing frame on the playground again and again, and failing countless times. After countless repeated attempts, please remember to acknowledge his patience and persistence. Your attitude in doing things is very good – praise your attitude. When your child is full of positive energy about the tasks he is facing, don\’t forget to seize the opportunity to say a few kind words. You’ve made a lot of progress in XXX! ——Praise details When a child’s ability has improved in a certain area, praise details. The more specific the better, for example: Baby, your hand posture when swimming is more standard now, and the frequency of ventilation is more even, which is better than before. A lot, awesome! This method is really innovative! ——Praise creativity This is the most important thing to pay attention to. Seeing children’s whimsical ideas is the easiest to associate them with “smartness”, but are whimsical ideas really “smart”? It should be the accumulation of creativity and thinking. It is the brain-opening that children gain after trying countless possible solutions! Therefore, it is right to praise \”creative\”! You work great with your friends! ——Praise for the spirit of cooperation. No matter how capable a person is, there is only a limit to what he can do. If your child and his friends work together to complete something and do a good job, please be sure to seize the opportunity to affirm it.Improve your child’s cooperative communication skills! You are not afraid of difficulties at all, which is so rare! ——Praise for courage Praising a child for his courage is the best time to help him increase his \”confidence index\”. Well done to you for helping XXX complete her mission! ——Praise enthusiasm \”Giving roses to others leaves fragrance in your hands\”. Helping others is a virtue. Be sure to praise your child\’s enthusiasm and encourage him to help others more. At the same time, it can also let him know that there are many ways to overcome difficulties. In addition to his own patience and persistence, asking others for help and learning from other people\’s experiences are also very effective methods. You organize your books so well. ——Praise for responsibility and organization. Being able to organize one\’s own territory, put things away, and take good care of them is a reflection of responsibility and orderliness. This is the basis for children to do other things well. Praise and encouragement are necessary. You are responsible for this very well! —— Praise for leadership. Although some things are not done by the child alone, he is responsible for the management. He does well because he has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership ability. Praising this point can let the child know , although he did not personally do every step, but it is also a very important ability to make things get done in the end. I believe you because… – Praising good credit will make your child\’s life path smoother, so help him establish it in a timely manner. For example, when making an agreement with your child, you can say, \”I believe in you, because you have kept your word the last few times\”, \”I believe in you, you will definitely find a good way\”… You performed very well in participating in the activities today! ——Praising participation in activities can broaden their horizons and absorb more nutrients. When a child actively participates in activities and performs well in the activities, his sense of participation must be encouraged. You value other people\’s opinions, which you do very well. ——Praise for an open-minded and open-minded attitude. By absorbing good advice and experience from others, your own abilities will continue to improve. People with a growth mindset generally have an open-minded and open-minded attitude. So glad you made this choice. ——Praise the choice for completing the task well, sometimes because of hard work, sometimes because of changing strategies and making the right choice. Praise strategies are the key to cultivating a growth mindset. You remember XXX! So thoughtful! ——Praise for carefulness, which is not only reflected in being cautious, but also reflected in children’s comprehensiveness and multi-angle consideration of issues. When going out to play, the child did not forget to bring an umbrella. Later, when it rained, he really needed it. It turned out that the attentive child checked the weather forecast for the day before going out. At this time, parents should praise him for his carefulness and thoughtfulness. .