How to train children to improve their emotional intelligence can be understood by looking at these three types of families!

Participate in parent-child activities and meet an interesting little girl. When the organizers handed out small gifts, they ignored a few children at the back. Some of the children who had not received the gifts were already crying, and their parents were preparing to remind them. A little girl of five or six years old raised her hands and shouted: \”Beautiful sister, you have forgotten us.\” The organizer hurried back to reissue and said sorry. The little girl smiled sweetly: \”It\’s okay, you\’ve been busy, sister, thank you for your hard work.\” These few words made the organizer very happy, and throughout the event, they paid special attention to the little girl. The parents present were discussing that the other neglected children were either silent or eagerly waiting for their parents to help. This little girl did not wrong herself, but also took care of others. She had a sweet mouth, and her emotional intelligence was too high. A professor from Harvard University once conducted research: 20% of a person\’s success depends on IQ, and the remaining 80% depends on emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is not only the ability to deal with interpersonal relationships such as communication and social interaction, but also includes: people\’s emotional cognitive management ability, frustration resistance and self-motivation ability. The level of emotional intelligence largely comes from acquired training, especially when children are 0-9 years old. So, what kind of family can raise children with high emotional intelligence at a glance? Families with loving couples are more likely to raise children with high emotional intelligence. My friend\’s little carrot is six years old and has extremely high emotional intelligence. There was a little boy in the class who always liked to pull her hair. She turned back directly: \”Do you like me? If you like me, just tell me. I am willing to give you my candies. If you pull my hair, you can\’t tell me.\” It came from my parents subconsciously. Her parents have a very good relationship, and even their quarrels are sweet. One time, Xiaoluobo\’s mother found her father hiding on the balcony smoking, so she called her daughter: \”Oops, I feel like I can\’t breathe. It\’s dad who is smoking. Smoking is harmful to health. We have to save dad.\” Dad quickly put out the cigarette. , smiled sheepishly at his wife. Little Carrot pounced on his father: \”Dad, you can\’t smoke.\” Her mother coquettishly said: \”You must promise not to smoke at home in the future, and you must smoke less at work.\” Dad agreed, and her mother added: \”You can only give me a hug.\” Forgive you.\” A war without gunpowder dissipated in the couple\’s kiss. The characteristic of a loving couple getting along in daily life is always complimenting and appreciating each other. The most important thing is that when you encounter a problem, you don\’t vent your emotions first, but express your emotions, think about the problem from the other person\’s perspective, and find a solution that balances both parties. From the attitude of parents, children learn emotional control and management skills without any guidance. As \”Emotional Intelligence\” says: \”Family life is the first school where we learn emotions. In this vivid little world, we learn how to perceive our own emotions and understand how others respond to our feelings. Read Beyond the hopes or fears in the eyes of others, they also learn how to express the hopes or fears in their own hearts.\” Children who grow up in a family with loving parents are more likely to learn to be the masters of their own emotions and have the ability to recognize and manage emotions. , shape good character and attitude.Families with high father involvement are more likely to raise children with high emotional intelligence. The World Health Organization points out that children who can spend more than two hours with their father on average have higher emotional intelligence than other children, boys are more like men, and girls know better about interacting with the opposite sex when they grow up. Intercourse. It is also interestingly mentioned in \”Cultivating Children with High Emotional Intelligence\”: Although mothers interact more with their children, there are some ways in which fathers influence their children\’s emotional intelligence that mothers cannot do. Fan Deng\’s son Dudu is famous for his high emotional intelligence. According to a friend of Fan Deng, Dudu is only a teenager and a primary school student. Talking to him is like communicating with an adult. Not only can he discuss professional topics, but his chatting style is also very comfortable. In particular, Dudu has a good resistance to frustration. Once he scored 70 points in an exam, he was very happy to go home. He usually gets 99 points or 100 points in the test. Dad asked him: \”What did you do?\” He also found it very interesting: \”There is a question at the back that I haven\’t seen.\” Before his father could say anything, he explained: \”I know, I will read every page in the future.\” mentioned. Regarding his son\’s education, Fan Deng said that the education he gave his children was to allow them to make mistakes and to accompany them to learn from each other and gain wisdom. He would ask for leave from the kindergarten, take Dudu to see the \”earth bridge\” mentioned in the book, and get up early for a run with Dudu; he would also choose to respect the child and solve the problem in his own way when Dudu was injured by a classmate. No matter what he did wrong, his father would always be by his side and guide him to learn from his mistakes. Although Dudu often makes mistakes, he will never make the same type of mistakes again. The most important thing is that Dudu is never timid when he makes mistakes. He will take the initiative to tell his parents and has the courage to take responsibility. Xu Haoyi, a doctor of psychology in Taiwan, once said: \”Fathers play the role of fuel, which can push children to explore forward, enter the crowd from the safe embrace of their mothers, and develop an adventurous impulse towards the world from their hearts.\” A Harvard University study conducted continuously Twelve years of research has also proven that children who grow up in families with highly involved fathers generally have high emotional intelligence, are brave and tenacious, are better able to cope with challenges and setbacks, and have good interpersonal relationships. Families with parents who are good at introspection are more likely to raise children with high emotional intelligence. Mengmeng from the early childhood education center is very young, especially self-motivated, and very lovable. If he fell down, he would get up on his own and wave his little fist: \”Don\’t be afraid, don\’t be afraid, just be careful next time.\” When I stained my clothes, I made an exaggerated expression: \”It doesn\’t matter, my mother said to change it if it gets stained.\” That’s it.” When he eats something he doesn’t want to eat, he will close his eyes and say, “Ah, eat it in one bite, it’s so cute.” The “Parent Classroom” of the early childhood education center specially invites Mengmeng’s mother to share her education experience with everyone. Mengmeng’s mother’s sharing is particularly interesting. She said: “I am a mother who has taken many detours on the road to raising children, but I am very fortunate that Mengmeng’s emotional intelligence is higher than mine. She is a person who can entertain herself very well and also takes care of herself. For other people’s children, I summed it up. It’s not that a certain parenting method is effective, but that I am better at introspection and found a really suitable education method for Mengmeng. For example, everyone said that using the cry immunity method to train children to fall asleep on their own is particularly effective. Okay, but after we tried it for a while, it didn’t work. I told Mengmeng that it doesn’t matter. It’s okay for mom to hold you to sleep. There are standards for education, but every child has a different personality. WeYou should learn good education methods, and you should understand your children\’s situation clearly, try, think, and reflect on the education method that is most suitable for your family. \”Nancy, a developmental psychologist at the Harvard Graduate School, found in long-term research experiments: There is no doubt that the way parents discipline their children will affect their performance. But the most important influencing factor is how children will perform in the future. It depends on the parents’ “prescribing the right medicine.” \”Introverted children are more suitable for praise and encouragement, while extroverted children are more suitable for guidance and empathy. There are many ways to cultivate children with high emotional intelligence. The most important thing is that parents should combine the situation of the family and the child and teach students in accordance with their aptitude. When parents are good at introspection Children who grow up in a family can accept who they are, are more self-motivated, and encourage themselves to move forward bravely. A British study on emotional intelligence that lasted for 50 years found that those children who showed high emotional intelligence in their early years have better emotional intelligence as adults. It is often easier to have a successful career and a happy life in the future. Therefore, for parents, we must pay attention to the development of their children\’s IQ, and we must not ignore their children\’s emotional intelligence education. These educations are not just words of instruction. They are given in a loving environment of parents. , in the joy of being accompanied by parents, and in the continuous introspection of education methods, children can subtly possess high emotional intelligence of \”emotional cognitive management ability, frustration resistance, and self-motivation ability\”. The world we live in is filled with bright flowers, Storms are inevitable. Parents cannot protect their children throughout their lives, but cultivating their children with high emotional intelligence is equivalent to putting on a set of indestructible armor. With this beautiful quality of \”warming themselves and illuminating others\”, children will naturally Have the strength to move forward.