Professor Li Meijin: If you don’t care about your child before he is 6 years old, you won’t be able to care about him when he grows up.

Li Meijin, a professor at China Public Security University, divides a person\’s life into several stages. Among them, a child\’s 3-6 years old is a critical period for character formation. During this period, parents should pay attention to the cultivation of their children\’s character. The most important point is to let their children learn \” Restrain your willfulness.\” \”An old professor came to me and said that my son asks me for things every day. He is 17 years old. Whenever he is not satisfied, he opens the window and says that I am not alive anymore and I want to die. The father said that you come down quickly and I will buy it for you tomorrow. , mobile phones today, computers tomorrow, games the day after tomorrow, MP4s, Nike shoes, bicycles. In short, his father lost his temper with him. Finally, he asked me what to do, and I said it was too late. What does it mean to be late? You can’t do it now if you don’t give it to him. , just give it, what should you do if he says he can’t afford it? I say, then you have to endure it.” The above is an example mentioned by Professor Li Meijin in the lecture. When the child reaches adolescence and problems arise, there is nothing that can be done because the critical period of education has passed. At this time, if you don\’t meet his requirements, he will have a hundred ways to make trouble with you: seeking death and living, running away from home, threatening you with death… Therefore, educate your children as early as possible. The critical period is 3-6 years old. Pay attention to this period. Child\’s character development. During this period, children\’s self-awareness has just emerged and they are in the initial stage of character development. Just like straightening a tree, the branches are weak and malleable when they are young, so it is not difficult to straighten them. But you have to wait until the branches grow thicker and become harder. At that time, if you want to correct it, it will not only take time and effort, but may even break the book. The same is true for children during this period. 3-6 years old is the beginning of character development, and it is also the time when \”ability\” is not yet strong enough. At this time, he is willful and mischievous. At most, he rolls on the ground, crying and fussing, without causing much consequences. However, if you wait until the child reaches puberty before you discipline him, he will have grown taller and stronger by then, and he will do inappropriate things when he is impulsive. For example, if a twelve-year-old child insists on playing in an Internet cafe and you don’t give him money, what will happen to him? He will make trouble with you, run away from home, and will not come back tonight. Say \”no\” to your child when he is three to six years old. What does it mean to say no? It’s just something I can’t do if I say no. Specifically speaking, if you catch him doing something he shouldn\’t do, if you don\’t let him do it, he will make trouble with you. Because we know that children cannot speak or speak clearly before the age of three. Many of their problems are expressed through crying, such as stomachaches and gastrointestinal discomfort. He will not tell you, he cannot speak out, he will only be there. Cry, he will cry whenever he feels uncomfortable. But after the child is three years old, he can speak. When he can speak, he will not speak. If you don\’t give him what he wants, and he will make trouble with you, then he has a purpose. For example: if you take him to a friend’s house and see a good toy from someone else’s house, he refuses to let go and take it home; if you take him to the mall and insists on getting the fun thing he sees, his parents will make a fuss if he doesn’t buy it. As soon as this \”don\’t give up until you achieve your goal\” mentality appears, you must deliberately teach him to \”say no\”. To say \”no\” to your child, you must do the following three things: 1. The environment for \”saying no\” should be careful. Let the child face you alone, and do not let him face you in public.Face you in front of, or in front of other relatives. It is best to choose a bedroom because there are no dangerous items in the room. You put him in the bedroom, close the door, and let him face you alone. He will feel a kind of situational pressure. Then, tell him (her) \”It\’s wrong for you to do this today! Don\’t do this next time!\” 2. With If you do this for the first time, the child may continue to cry. At this time, parents should not hit him, scold him, or reason with him because he is still young and does not understand many words. , 4. Don’t walk away, because you want him to feel your uncompromising attitude all the time. When a child cries, parents should not make a sound, do not coax, do not scold or hit, just say \”It\’s wrong for you to cry like this\”, and then you can take a stool and sit there. When a child cries with his eyes closed, he will quietly open his eyes and think, \”Why don\’t you come and hug me?\”; The child will continue to cry for the second time, and then open his eyes again to see why he still ignores me, and then continue to cry; He stopped crying after three times. This process is to let him know that it is his fault and that crying is useless. 3. Pay equal attention to kindness and power, and deepen the impression. When he finishes crying, parents can help him wipe his face with a hot towel to make him feel that his parents still love him. After wiping, sit down again and ask him, \”Do you want to cry? If you want to cry, keep crying, I\’ll wait for you.\” At this time, he will know that crying is useless, it is a silent self-esteem. If this happens again in the future, the parents will just have to look down and the children will understand. This majesty is very simple, but it must be done early. After doing this, if the child is tired from crying, the parents can help him take off his clothes, let him sleep for a while, and then leave after falling asleep. If some children don\’t want to sleep, go out to drink some water or eat something. Before eating, parents can say, \”Mom, I want to tell you something important. Tell me about what you were crying about just now.\” This is to let him know that this matter has not passed, and also to tell him what to do in the future. The above is the method of \”restraining willfulness\” proposed by Professor Li Meijin. This way of \”saying no\” is to tell the child through the behavior of handling an incident: If you don\’t do it right, I will not give in and I won\’t feel bad if you make trouble again. My love for you has limits. It depends on on your own performance! All children will sense your reaction. As long as you are firm, he will understand. From now on, he will never bother you again! Then you can conduct permissive education, using both kindness and power, to let him know that his parents love him, but they will not accommodate him – the sooner this \”competition\” occurs, the better.