Never do the 5 most harmful behaviors to your child before they are 6 years old. The first one is the easiest to guess.

Psychologist Adler said: \”Happy people use their childhood to heal their lives, and unhappy people use their lives to heal their childhood.\” According to psychological research, a child\’s experience before the age of 6 will have an impact on his life. If parents want their children to be happy and healthy, they must not do these 5 things before their children are 6 years old! Cursed Personality A mother once left a message to me: \”What should I do if my baby is too introverted? He is 4 years old and he still doesn\’t want to be called!\” The words revealed her anxiety about her child\’s introversion. Many mothers also have this problem. They think their introverted children are unlovable and not smart enough. So they will try their best to force the children to be extroverted and force them to be gregarious, but in fact this behavior is very unnecessary. Blindly adopting coercive measures may be counterproductive. Susan Cain, the author of \”Quiet: The Competitiveness of Introverts\” once said: \”To praise extroversion without thinking about it is actually making a serious mistake.\” In the documentary \”Post Zero\”, a little boy named Yiyi Girls always like to do things alone, reading, eating, and playing in the sand all by themselves. The kindergarten teacher thought she was too introverted and guided her to play with other children, but three-year-old Yiyi said: \”I just like to play alone.\” Picture source documentary \”Post-00s\” teachers still felt that Yiyi was abnormal, every time They all deliberately and tried their best to guide her to be extroverted, but Yiyi always answered: \”I think it\’s good to play alone. Everyone has their own choice.\” Picture source documentary \”Post Zero\” was once considered unacceptable by teachers. A normal child not only does not become withdrawn after ten years, but grows into a person who loves to make friends. Introversion is not a defect but a choice. Children who choose to be introverted are just exploring the world in their own way. When a child is introverted, don\’t force him to be extroverted. The correct way is to let nature take its course and intervene in a timely manner. Parents can do this: First of all, introverted children are more sensitive. Don\’t let them think that introversion is a bad thing, and give them a sufficient sense of identity. Secondly, introversion does not mean zero social interaction. You can create some friendship environments for your children based on their interests and hobbies. Bill Gates was once an introverted child. His parents signed him up for some clubs based on his interest in reading. In the club, he discussed books and current affairs with his peers, which protected his nature while also allowing him to make friends. Introversion is not the original sin, prejudice is. In the perfunctory appeal variety show \”Look at My Life\”, Ma Sichun mentioned the past of being bullied on campus when he was in school. She recalled that there was a girl who hated her very much. She laughed at her for being fat, read her letters to her friends in public, and put rag water in her unfinished Coke. That kind of life made her feel like she had entered hell. But what made Ma Sichun collapse the most was her mother\’s attitude when she told her these things. Not only did her mother not care about her feelings, but she told her: \”Ignore her and ignore her. All you have to do is prove that you have a better life than her.\” Ma Sichun said: \”If my mother could face my appeal, I would not As weak as you are now.\” A thorn from his youth finally penetrated deeper and deeper into his flesh and blood, causing a dull pain at the slightest touch. Like Ma Sichun\’s mother, many parents will treat their children\’s demands as casual remarks, but they don\’t know that they are actually the children\’s demands.A child\’s distress signal to his parents. If the distress signal is not fed back, it will form a vicious cycle, which will directly have an irreversible impact on the child\’s character, making the child weak, autistic, and lacking in self-confidence. Parents can do this: Many parents don’t even have the patience to listen to their children, or they look at their mobile phones while listening to their children. This kind of behavior will only make the child feel that they are not taken seriously, so when the child talks to his parents, he must put down what he is doing, listen carefully to what the child has to say, and give feedback while listening. For example, when a child complains that a kindergarten teacher is biased, don’t impatiently say, “You’re the only one with a lot to do!” Squat down and listen to the child finish what he has to say, give him a hug, and then ask patiently: “Why does the baby think that? Do you think it is? Are you wronged? If you feel wronged, tell your mother.\” Don\’t think that your children don\’t understand, they can feel all the perfunctory things. Only when children\’s distress signals are taken seriously will they open their hearts to their parents and have more courage and determination to take the road ahead. Neglecting companionship In \”The Story of Youth\”, a boy accuses his parents of being a couple who only have children but do not raise them. The boy said that he was placed at his aunt\’s house since he was a child, and his parents only came back once every year or two. His aunt\’s brothers bullied him, but he did not dare to resist because he knew that he was dependent on someone else. I waited for many days for my parents to call me, but I didn’t expect that they hung up after just a few words. I didn’t even get a chance to connect to the phone. One day, he discovered that his 5-year-old brother, who was also staying at his aunt\’s house, had become more and more cowardly. He didn\’t even dare to speak when in a crowd and would only hide behind him. Seeing his younger brother, he seemed to see his former self. He asked his parents to take his younger brother away because he wanted his younger brother to have a healthy and happy childhood, be more sunny and cheerful, at least not like him. When I saw this, I couldn\’t help crying. How strong must this boy be to speak out these sorrows that others cannot relate to, seemingly calmly? Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: \”In infants and young children, love and companionship are more important than education. A healthy, harmonious and intimate relationship is the cornerstone of a child\’s personality and the content of his personality.\” Making money to support the family is important, but the child\’s Physical and mental health are more important. If a child has a mental health problem, no amount of money can buy it back. Some parents are very busy at work and still have a lot of time to spend with their children. Some parents have a free time at work but play on their mobile phones next to their children. Companionship is not just about giving time. Parents can do this: For example, take half an hour of parent-child time every day, without mobile phones, to interact with their children. Set aside half a day every week to spend all your time with your children and do things that are beneficial to the parent-child relationship. If you really can\’t accompany your child, you can seek understanding, but the premise is that you provide your child with high-quality companionship. Just like Officer Ye in \”The Hidden Corner\”, he is busy with work as a police officer, but whenever he has time, he will accompany his children to do homework and watch \”Huan Zhuge Ge\”, which his daughter loves to watch. So when he couldn\’t accompany his daughter when he had a temporary mission, her daughter also expressed understanding. Real understanding is not about letting children bear the pain of growing up alone and then being forced to grow up, but about a thoughtful exchange between parents and children. often quarrel networkThere was a post on the Internet: \”What unexplainable experiences have you had?\” There was such an impressive answer: \”What I have always been puzzled about is that I can\’t remember many things before the age of 6. Only the scenes of my parents quarreling are vivid. Even though my parents rarely quarrel now, I still get scared every time I’m with them and carefully maintain joy.” What’s amazing is that the number of likes and comments for this answer far exceeds that of some strange Experienced answer. This shows how deeply parents’ quarrels affect their children. Someone once conducted a survey on the relationship between family conditions and children\’s psychological problems. The results showed that the probability of children having psychological problems is: 32% for families where parents often quarrel; 30% for families where couples are divorced; 19% for families where husband and wife have a harmonious relationship. %. The impact of parents\’ quarrels on children has even exceeded the impact of parents\’ divorce on children. No wonder there is a saying: \”Parents quarreling is the scariest movie a child has ever seen.\” When adults make mistakes, children should not have to pay the bill. Wise parents will not let their children make up a big drama. Parents can do this: If you have a quarrel with your partner, you must let your children know in time: Mom and Dad are not quarreling because of you. You can learn from what Julie\’s parents did in the movie \”Heartbeat\”. In the film, Julie\’s parents had a serious quarrel, and their quarrel made Julie very scared. In order to reassure their daughter, after the quarrel ended, the parents went to have a heart-to-heart talk with Julie. The father sincerely apologized to his daughter and promised: \”We will definitely find a solution.\” The mother also apologized to Julie and told Julie a lot about her father\’s merits, saying that it was just an accident and that they still love each other. Let the children know that there are no problems between the parents, so that the children will not live in fear and will have more security. Before being criticized in public, I was eating in a restaurant, and two friends were having dinner at the next table. During the dinner, a little boy accidentally spilled the porridge. Originally it wasn\’t a big problem, just wipe it off and ask the waiter for a pair of bowls and chopsticks. But the little boy\’s mother refused to give up and scolded: \”It\’s not honest at all to sit down and eat together or not!\” The friend at the same table couldn\’t stand it anymore and persuaded: \”It\’s okay, the kid is careless, just clean it up.\” La.\” But the mother didn\’t stop there. Instead, she said, \”Children should hit more, otherwise they will lose their memory!\” Not only that, she also listed some of the mistakes the little boy had made before to her friends. The little boy looked shy and just buried his head in eating. Unexpectedly, his mother said again: \”You know you\’re sorry?\” Sitting next door, I felt heartbroken when I looked at the boy. He was only a four or five-year-old child. Many parents think that their children\’s face is not important, but they do not know that children as young as four or five have already developed the concept of \”face\”. Psychologist Sara Botto found through experimental research that children begin to care about the outside world\’s evaluation of them when they are 2 years old. Alex Shaw, a developmental psychology researcher at the University of Chicago, also said: \”Parents often think that their children do not understand face, but in fact it is just their wrong view.\” When children make mistakes, it is important to set rules, but you must also pay attention to how your children feel. Parents can do this: If their children make mistakes, they can conduct a private reviewmethod. For example, you can take your child to a separate room or somewhere where no outsiders are around. This not only protects the child\’s self-esteem and face, but also facilitates education. Give your children enough face in front of outsiders so that they can better receive education and make corrections. Einstein once said: \”Everyone is a genius. If the ability of a fish is measured by the performance of climbing a tree, then the fish will live in shame for its whole life.\” There will be many six years in life, but The first 6 years determine the child’s future. Let us be more patient, have more restraint, accompany our children to write, and create a more diverse and colorful life!