Insights on life as a parent: a practice of mind and wisdom

I have heard this sentence: Most love in the world aims at getting together, but there is a kind of love that aims at separation, and that is the love of parents for their children. When children are young, parents need to use wise education to help their children grow up healthily; when their children grow up, parents need to let go in time to give their children a broader sky. Being a parent is a practice of mind and wisdom. When children are young, parents are role models full of wisdom. Many people say that children are like a blank piece of paper, and whatever the parents draw will be what the children will look like. I deeply agree. Parents are their children\’s first teachers, and their words and deeds will influence their children in a subtle way. When children are young, parents are role models full of wisdom in their children\’s eyes. The best education parents can give their children is to teach by words and deeds. Liu Shiwen, who won the \”Best Female Athlete of the Year\” at last year\’s ITTF Star Awards Ceremony, grew up in such an environment. Liu Shiwen’s mother, Wang Lifeng, is also a table tennis enthusiast. Her biggest dream is to become an excellent table tennis player and win glory for her country on the world stage. Unfortunately, Wang Lifeng does not have such talent. After studying hard and practicing hard, I still failed to realize my dream. The birth of Liu Shiwen brought her new hope. But the difference is that she never puts her dreams on her children. She did not instill in her children the idea that \”you must become table tennis players\”, nor did she force her children to practice table tennis. It was Liu Shiwen\’s own idea to play table tennis. And all of this stems from my mother\’s love for table tennis. Her persistence sets a good example for her children. Although Wang Lifeng is busy with work and trivial housework, she still persists in her hobby and habit of playing table tennis. The most common scene when Liu Shiwen was a child was her mother standing in front of the table sweating profusely. Her mother\’s love for table tennis left a deep impression on the young Liu Shiwen and inspired her curiosity and desire to imitate. She began to imitate her mother\’s movements and became excited when she saw the table tennis ball. As a mother, Wang Lifeng also spares no effort in raising her daughter carefully. Not only did she make a small racket just for her, but she also taught her the proper playing methods. No matter how hard the work is, he will practice ball with his daughter after get off work. While educating her children, Wang Lifeng herself also enjoys it. And Liu Shiwen has been infected by her mother\’s enthusiasm and perseverance. In this way, Liu Liwen was already able to play well when she was less than 5 years old. When she was 7 years old, she was spotted by a famous teacher and trained as a champion. And now, she has become the first \”five-time champion\” of the Women\’s Table Tennis World Cup. This is an achievement that Zhang Yining, Wang Nan and Ding Ning have never achieved. Everything happens as what the Analects of Confucius says: \”If the body is upright, it will act without being told; if the body is not upright, it will not act despite being ordered to do so.\” The best education is to be able to shape a child\’s character in a subtle way, not Discipline your children from time to time and interfere in their affairs. Truly wise parents will only do everything well, set a good example for their children, and truly teach by words and deeds. Parents need to learn to exit gracefully when their children grow upI believe many parents understand the importance of teaching their children through words and deeds when they are young. But when their children grow up, there are very few parents who can truly let go. The famous host He Jiong once said: The later parents let go, the later children will learn to fly. If a child is suppressed for too long, it is likely to be useless. Too often, what parents think of as protection is actually quietly destroying their children. A netizen on Zhihu narrated his experience. She said that her parents had set rules for her since she was a child, such as \”must go home before dark\” and \”cannot take dangerous taxis\”… Therefore, since she was a child, she almost never went out to play with her friends. Her parents also believed that girls \”should not be exposed to fireworks\”, so until college, she never washed a piece of clothing or a bowl, or even entered the kitchen. During the high school holidays, when her classmates went on trips or took part-time jobs to earn extra money, she could only stay at home, study and read. In college, when her classmates went to teach or do internships during the holidays, she could only go home and be a good girl in the arms of her parents. If parents are reluctant to let go, their children will not learn to grow up. So now, her self-care ability, mobility, etc. are far behind those of her peers. I cried all the way because I couldn’t pack my luggage; I was so anxious that I cried because I couldn’t install a mobile phone card; I even didn’t know how to take a bus… Looking back on the experience of the past few decades, this netizen said painfully: \”I have always I thought I had grown up, but in fact I have not. All the opportunities I could have grown up were taken away by my parents.\” In one sentence, he expressed heartbreak. When we try our best to create a fairy tale world for our children without any harm or thorns, we are invisibly training our children to become useless people in a cage who “can’t do anything”. But we all have to understand that we can protect you for a while, but not for a lifetime. Excessive protection is not love, but cruelty. Growth is the responsibility of children, and there is a separation between parents and children that will eventually drift away. Only by giving the child a sense of security, caring for her, supporting her, and encouraging her can the child have enough confidence to fly freely and not be afraid of hardships. When children need a broader sky, what parents should do is to give them enough freedom and learn to exit appropriately in a timely manner. Being a parent is a practice of mind and wisdom. Peking University talented woman Zhao Jie once wrote this: \”I admire a kind of parents who provide strong intimacy to their children when they are young, and learn to withdraw appropriately when their children grow up. The parent-child relationship is not a permanent possession, but a profound fate in life. We can neither make children feel barren in childhood, nor make children feel suffocated in adulthood. Care and separation are tasks that parents must complete for their children. \”As a parent, the greatest pride is that when your son or daughter grows up one day, you can see that the education you gave him has transformed him into a person with good qualities. No matter you are here or not, he can live calmly, behave upright, and pass on his good character from generation to generation. You don’t need your children to be perfect, you don’t need to fight for your parents’ reputation, and you don’t need to help your parents take care of themselves in their old age. As long as this life exists healthily and walks through this beautiful world, let your parents have the opportunity to walk with it for a while. As long as he is healthy and happy, thenIt is the greatest satisfaction for parents. Parents\’ letting go does not mean pushing their children further and further away. On the contrary, when people are far away, the hearts of a family are getting closer. Being a parent is a practice of mind and wisdom. Not only as a parent, but also at many moments in life, you should know how to advance and retreat.