These 6 types of mothers are too exhausted to raise good children! You won\’t be the first one to win, right?

A few years ago, there was a TV news story: a mother worked hard to raise her son, who found a job soon after graduating from college. However, he often resigned after working for less than a month. He always complained that the workload was heavy. He had to get up early in the morning and work overtime at night. It was too hard, too tiring, and he couldn\’t bear it. For two years, my son has been idle at home with peace of mind, either playing games online or using his mother\’s small salary to spend time in the society. Regarding his mother\’s accusation, he plausibly said: \”If you can\’t support me all my life, why have you been so pampered to me since I was a child?\” After watching this program, everyone found it incredible, and the expert\’s interpretation also made many parents think deeply. Is there such a potential crisis in education? When we were young, the elders told us: \”If you don\’t suffer a small loss, you will suffer a big loss; if you don\’t suffer a small hardship, you will suffer a big hardship.\” In other words, when children are young, it is a good thing for children to suffer a little hardship and encounter some difficulties. If we are afraid that our children will suffer hardship and take on the responsibilities of our children, although we will save them from crying and entanglement, we will deprive them of the opportunity to cultivate good character and develop their own abilities, which is not worth the gain. Everyone wants their children to be successful and their daughters to be successful, but incorrect education methods are wrong. Take a look at the 6 types of mothers listed below. Are you one of them? Excessive guilt type We all know that in order to teach their children to be rigorous and let them experience frustration, German parents often say: \”You have to take responsibility for your own actions first!\” Some Chinese parents, when they let their children grow up freely, Full of anxiety and prone to guilt and self-blame. I still remember the scenes shared in some kindergarten mother groups – it was obvious that the child forgot to bring something, but he complained to the mother without any responsibility: \”It\’s all your fault, you forgot to bring it for me, so I was scolded by the teacher!\” and was reprimanded! At that time, you even apologized: \”I\’m sorry, mom forgot in a hurry. I won\’t do it next time.\” This is to make the child feel less guilty, stop crying, and take the responsibility on yourself. The mother feels guilty because there is not enough breast milk; the mother feels guilty because she has less time to spend with her children because she is busy with trivial matters; the mother feels guilty when she occasionally loses her temper with her children. Do you love your children to the extreme, and do you feel exhausted physically and mentally? However, this kind of dedication will hardly be rewarded in the long run. When children encounter problems that cannot be solved, they will only develop the character of blaming others and looking for objective reasons, unable to find the root cause of the problem, let alone make progress. Have you seen the extremely controlling type of \”Tiger Mom and Cat Dad\”? This type of mother regards \”obedience\” as the criterion for judging the quality of her children. In the eyes of many mothers, it is \”rebellious\” for a child to express his or her own thoughts and make his or her own decisions without following the life plan you planned. There are cases like this around me. Now when the children grow up, their mothers will even take care of them, and they have become \”mom\’s babies\” or thoughtless people. Their parents have a very selfish behavior, that is, they are particularly willing to impose their unfulfilled wishes on their children. Even some parents whose careers are not going well will devote all their energy in the second half of their lives to hoping that their children will succeed. In order to let the children develop according to their own ideas, they turned a deaf ear to the children\’s physical and psychological conditions. As the saying goes, the core of education is \” dredging leads to openness, blocking leads to surplus\”. ChildrenIf it is difficult for a child to live his or her own life, he will feel confused and will have to rely more on his parents to ask for help. This will be a vicious cycle in the long run. Chinese mothers who are keen on comparison are famous in the world for their love of comparison. From their scores in college entrance exams to trivial matters, Chinese mothers always compare their children with their friends, colleagues, and neighbors. What kind of stationery should I buy, what kind of private tutoring classes should I attend, and even if the family is rich, they have to show off their cars and houses. Of course, apart from material things, the most important thing is the comparison of achievements. When other people\’s children go to English cram schools, no matter whether they like it or not, they are not far behind; when the child gets into the top three in the class, he asks who is the first and second place, and asks to catch up with him next time. Unknowingly, your child becomes a reference for others and a weight for comparison! Gradually, children only focus on points, and only know how to brag. They don’t know why they learn, and they don’t know how to apply what they learn. The \”child slave\” type of child slave is a \”hot word\” that has become popular in recent years. It describes the life state of some parents who spend their whole lives working hard for their children, being busy for their children, and making money for their children, and have lost the reflection of their self-worth. Try to ask yourself: after having children, will you still have time for yourself? Many mothers often lament the huge difference before and after becoming a mother: after becoming a mother, she loses herself and becomes a satellite that only revolves around her children. I spend less time with my husband, less contact with friends, less contact with society, and less spare time interests. For the sake of my family and children, I turned down most dinner parties and travel activities organized by my work unit, and even gave up my originally brilliant career. Whether she is willing or forced, it seems that only such \”wholehearted\” dedication can be called a good and competent mother. But is it really so? Not necessarily, this has serious side effects because it will increase the child\’s sense of deprivation and guilt. It can be said responsibly that child slave parents do far more harm than good to their children\’s growth. The overly worried type is also raising a baby. In recent years, Chinese mothers seem to be much more nervous. For example, when taking babies out, Chinese mothers often keep nagging: Be careful when crossing the road to look at cars, wear more clothes so they don’t get cold, and don’t touch things… When we were young, we carried schoolbags and went to and from school alone. Hard to see inside. Looking around, all we see are parents and traffic jammed in front of the school gate waiting for their children to finish school. Worry about the child is the tightest chord in the mother\’s mind that she can never get rid of, making her physically and mentally exhausted. Of course, various unsafe factors in society also add to the psychological burden on mothers. In fact, \”worrying everywhere is a curse.\” If you give your child positive hints, your child will be healthier and better. If you always give your child bad worries and hints, your child may really develop in a bad direction and become very tense all day long. sensitive. The overworked type often sees such scenes around us: doing laundry in the middle of the night, parents getting up early for their children in the dark, buying groceries and cooking at dawn, sending their children to school, carrying their children\’s schoolbags throughout the process, and the children are relaxed and contented; When the child takes the bus, the child sits on the seat, but the parents stand beside him; when he buys something delicious, the child takes it by himself.Eat, never thinking about the parents around you… Hardworking and simple, although this is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation and an excellent quality of a good wife and mother, the ending is always unsatisfactory. With all this, overworked parents can\’t help but sigh: We are selfless to our children, but why are our children becoming more and more selfish? Moreover, selfish children have a very strong desire to possess, and they must try their best to keep what they want. When they grow up, their selfish desires will continue to expand, and they may do anything to get something. The terrible consequences can be imagined. Therefore, overworking in this way will indirectly encourage children\’s sense of lack and selfishness, which will do more harm than good to their growth. Excellent parents, especially, let go of their children\’s ability to take care of themselves and take great care to cultivate their children\’s sense of independence. When your child is three years old, you should ask him to help you carry things when you go out on the street. When the child reaches the age of five or six, he should be asked to sweep the floor and clean the table, and be told how to save electricity. He can also be taught to organize his own room. When children go to school, tell them some simple safety knowledge, ask them to walk to school by themselves, come back by themselves after school, and ask them to save money on stationery. After school, the child is asked to go to the market to buy groceries to reduce the pressure on his parents. Let your children clean the toilet during the holidays and learn that smell and dirt are part of life. When children go to middle school, they have to manage their own living expenses. There is only so much money, and if you overspend, you will starve. The long road in life must be walked by him/herself, and the difficulties must be solved by him/herself. Especially for boys, for a future man, hard work is his foundation. Without the spirit of hard work, he is destined to have difficulty facing the increasingly competitive social competition. Allowing children to endure some hardships and hardships is a way to prepare them for a smooth and smooth life journey in the future, allowing them to fully realize their own value after entering society.