How to improve families with particularly strong mothers?

Many people know that mothers are very important to children and families. As the saying goes: Marry a good wife and make three generations rich! But a strong mother is devastating to the family. Why is this? The stronger the mother is, the more cowardly the son will be, and the daughter will appear domineering. A strong woman does not mean a strong woman. Children\’s emotional intelligence training + explosive learning ability + the power of good habits + thinking ability training series of parenting courses What we call strength refers more to personality than career. Many strong women are \”iron ladies\” at work and become \”little ladies\” when they return home. On the contrary, they are happily married. On the contrary, some women may not have a great career, but they have a great temper and a lot of momentum, and they especially like to speak out at home. We call this kind of wife who likes to be the \”queen\” at home a strong woman. Psychological consultation found that generally speaking, when the father\’s role in the family becomes more and more marginalized, the mother will become increasingly tough and even say the same thing. From the perspective that children will always identify with a parent of the same sex, a daughter will identify with a strong mother. Over time, the daughter will become a strong daughter. In many families, mothers and daughters who have a tense relationship are often mothers and daughters with the same personality. That is to say, a powerful mother must have a powerful daughter. A mother with a bad temper will definitely pass on her bad temper to her daughter. Sometimes you will find some very interesting phenomena: when a daughter resists her mother\’s tyranny, the daughter also secretly inherits her mother\’s tyranny, and will naturally bring it into her future relationship with her daughter. Four common behaviors of strong mothers: You must listen to your mother, and your mother has the final say in everything. Closely monitor your children\’s every move and know their whereabouts and behavior well. All children\’s activities must be reported to her, and permission must be obtained before acting when necessary. Blindly give guidance to children\’s lives, interfere unreasonably, and manipulate their public and private lives for no reason. Restraint makes children lose their self-confidence. Many mothers regard raising their children as a way to self-realization. If they can successfully train their children to become outstanding talents, they often attach their own value to their children. Their children\’s success is their success, and their children\’s failure is their failure. Therefore, many mothers have to transfer this pressure to their children and invisibly impose their will on their children, and the children become inferior due to this restriction. Being too demanding causes young children to lose their sense of security and increase their psychological pressure. At this time, the child becomes tired, no criticism can touch him, and he becomes devoid of confidence and does nothing. In front of a strong mother, the daughter chooses to agree unconditionally, while the son will have another situation, that is, unconditional escape. Because when a mother always accuses and criticizes her husband, she is actually blaming and criticizing all men. As a male, a son will inevitably hide in a corner where no one is around, just like his father. So when a wife with an overly strong personality likes to laugh at and ridicule her weak husband, she is actually dumping this ridicule and ridicule on her son. Therefore, a strong wife must have a weak son. The more she accuses her husband of being weak, the weaker her son will be.. A strong mother will make her son less masculine. Many of today\’s mothers are very capable. When it comes to ruling and controlling the family, they often rely on the mother\’s will and leadership. The result is that patriarchy cannot reflect its leadership position. If the family wants to maintain relative harmony, the father can only \”firmly support\” the mother\’s opinions and suggestions, otherwise it will be a quarrel or a cold war. As a result, the weak father gave up his family leadership position. Boys living in such matriarchal families are indeed very unfortunate. When the children are young, the strong mother does not show any problems. But in early childhood and childhood, due to the father\’s cowardice and inability to prevent the mother\’s excessive interference with the child, the child will have various problems. Problem 1: It is difficult for boys to masculinize. Children have less understanding of male power and will suffer from \”fatherly lack of love syndrome.\” Lack of masculinity, slow development in weight, height, movement, etc., and emotional disorders such as anxiety and weak self-control; in terms of personality, they may also become cowardly, timid, withdrawn, and have low self-esteem. The Complete Collection of Chinese Dynasties Series, 28 volumes, epub+mobi+azw3 When you enter society in the future, you will experience various discomforts: such as being unable to act according to your own gender role norms, preferring to marry strong women, being unable to become a trustworthy husband, etc. . Problem 2: A family that causes children to disrespect authority and loses their father\’s rights will not only fail to teach children to respect authority and understand hierarchy from their father, but will also lead to them thinking that men are just like their father. At the same time, in families with imperfect functions, when children face a strong mother, they will often instinctively please the \”stronger\”. Especially boys, they will also follow their mothers and unknowingly rebel against their fathers and do not pay attention to their father\’s opinions. Problem 3: Overprotecting the child If the mother is too strong, it is a sign of a lack of security and will make the child a typical protector. I am afraid that the problems I am worried about will appear in my children. As long as it is not good for my children, I want to filter it out and use my own efforts to avoid it. Therefore, the mother takes care of everything and requires the children to follow her, both mentally and behaviorally. In the end, the child will become incompetent and completely dependent on the mother, which further confirms the mother\’s ideas. Problem 4: Putting too much pressure on their children. Strong mothers are often capable and perfectionists. They regard cultivating their children as a method of self-realization and demand their children to do their best. Therefore, he invisibly imposes his will on the child and attaches his own value to the child. It cannot be denied that these strong mothers pay a lot. But it is precisely these \”payments\” that make children feel stressed, easily cause children to lose their sense of security and self-confidence, and cause children to have psychological inferiority when they become adults. Problem 5: Making it difficult for children to be independent and strong. Mothers are not only strong in front of their husbands, but also in front of their children, and do not allow their children to say \”no\”. Being under the strong control of the mother for a long time, it is natural to ignore the characteristics and feelings of the child. Children have few opportunities to make independent decisions in life, and everything is taught, directed, and arranged by their strong mothers. Over time, children will give up their responsibilities,Losing the ability to solve problems and face life independently, forming unconditional obedience and dependence on the mother. Question 6: Children learn to passively resist a strong mother, which makes children lose themselves. They feel that everything they do is for their mother, and they cannot generate motivation to do things. Under the pressure of power, children know that resistance is useless. Although they say \”no\” in their hearts, they can only express superficial obedience. This is also why children feel that only through passive resistance can they have autonomy. As a result, children often adopt a negative attitude when faced with things they cannot control and are unwilling to do, and this is how they appear. Question 7: It is difficult for children to learn social interactions. Parents are the first people of the same and opposite sexes that children know. Being friendly with them allows children to learn how to get along with friends of the same and opposite sex when they grow up. This determines the child\’s interpersonal skills. Set of 4 volumes of \”Those Things in the Southern and Northern Dynasties\”, complete works download epub+azw3+mobi. However, under the management of a strong mother, this kind of social deformation of communication makes children afraid of encountering negation and rejection, and they become accustomed to hiding their inner feelings. This defensive mode makes them prone to social isolation and makes it difficult to integrate into society. Question 8: A strong mother will lead to the \”Oedipus complex\”. The more love a strong mother invests, the greater the harvest she expects, and the deeper the bond between mother and child. They even regard their son as a \”substitute spouse\” and the only object of emotional support. In the end it is possible to desire possession of the son to the point of desiring to share everything the son has. This makes it difficult for children to get rid of their mother\’s influence and gain their true self. This makes it difficult for boys to identify with other girls when they grow up, making them more dependent on their mothers. To sum up, mothers who are too strong or have too much contact with their children must let their children have a good understanding and correct impression of their father in their own minds. In fact, a smart mother will always give her father the opportunity to let her children feel his father\’s presence at all times, and respecting her husband is the best way to embody paternal authority. Of course, as a father, you cannot evade your responsibilities, and you must strive to be more involved in the decision-making of family affairs. Finally, what needs to be known is that strong control sometimes does not necessarily mean strong control of a child\’s thoughts or emotions, but may also be strong care through gentleness, or strong control through sweet words.