What should parents do if their children’s free time causes anxiety?

After the \”double reduction\”, the first person to feel relaxed should be the children, and the second should be the parents. The workload of the children has been reduced, and the after-school training classes in various subjects have also been greatly reduced. This should not only save energy but also Save money. But in fact, some parents are still anxious after the \”double reduction\”. A practical question is: What do children do with their extra time? Especially after returning home from school and on weekends, parents need to help arrange the time. In this regard, various media have published numerous relevant articles. The author has collected more than 40 articles giving suggestions to parents within two months after the implementation of the \”double reduction\”. According to rough statistics, the two most popular suggestions are to let children read more and Exercise more, and then develop students\’ interests and hobbies. Others include increasing communication among peers, increasing communication among family members, and participating in various activities. Some teachers also talked about changing the concept of \”rough growth\” and stop engaging in Fatigue tactics: take a break after finishing homework so that you can \”fight\” again the next day… Have the suggestions from teachers and experts eliminated parents\’ anxiety? For the students’ free time brought by the “double deduction”, many parents do not choose one or two projects to fill them up, and are reluctant to let their children play and rest. Instead, they choose not to leave behind any project! It is not a long period of after-school time. Exercises must be arranged, reading must be done, special interests must be cultivated, and academic performance must not decline… Here is a Wednesday after-school time that a parent I know made for his second-grade child. Time schedule: 16:30-17:30 Outdoor sports 17:30-18:30 Dinner 18:30-19:00 Foreign language 19:00-19:15 Ballet practice 19:15-19:45 Mathematics 19:45- 20:00 Vocal practice 20:00-20:30 Homework 20:30-21:00 Free reading 21:00-21:30 Painting 21:30 Washing and sleeping 16:30-17:30 Outdoor sports 17:30-18 ∶30 Dinner 18:30-19:00 Foreign language 19:00-19:15 Ballet practice 19:15-19:45 Mathematics 19:45-20:00 Vocal practice 20:00-20:30 Homework 20:30- 21:00 Free reading 21:00-21:30 Drawing 21:30 Washing and sleeping This table has arranged all the children’s after-school time, and the items are full: including exercise and reading, of which a full hour is given for exercise. Various events specified in the primary school stage were specifically arranged. After running laps, the items learned in physical education class were strengthened and trained, and finally they played ball games for a while. This also included the development of hobbies, which can be seen to be mostly literary and artistic. , parents have also fully considered their children\’s own characteristics and temperament; of course, they have not given up on their studies. The main courses are all arranged, mainly review and preview, and there are also certain exercises. Of course, there is also sufficient time for homework (\”double reduction\” for a period of time Finally, there is no homework, and this period is assigned to the main class by parents). The most valuable thing is that after taking into account all items, this schedule can still be very \”healthy\”: falling asleep before 10 p.m. basically guarantees that the childI got about 10 hours of sleep; I also arranged eye exercises before going to bed; I was given an hour to eat, so that I would not have to enter a study state after the meal; I also paid great attention to brain hygiene, and the projects were all combined with movement and stillness…need It is pointed out that during the actual execution process, each project also comes with a 3-5 minute break. Even so, the author still feels that the schedule is very full, dividing up all the children\’s after-school time, and making it as specific, precise, cold, substantial and highly programmed as a train timetable. The five hours after class are almost all \”prescribed actions.\” In fact, this is the manifestation of many parents’ anxiety when it reaches a certain level: in a future full of unknowns, everything may be useful. If you spend some time every day to develop some skills or abilities, your children will be able to send out some skills in the future. Where\’s the use? And this is not an isolated case. Many parents may not have the perseverance and organization of this parent, nor such a high level of execution, but parents’ anxiety about their children’s free time is common. Children spend a large amount of time unscheduled. They will think that their children are wasting their time, and they will feel uneasy inside. But since ancient times, this kind of completely arranged life with no leisure time is obviously not the life that children should have. No time for play is considered to be against the nature of children. But where does it go wrong? First, children need free time to develop creativity and adaptability. Research from the American Academy of Pediatrics shows that a period of unstructured, unplanned free play helps children become more creative and more likely to discover their own passions and interests. Unrestricted free play among children can also naturally develop the ability to solve interpersonal communication problems, and even better develop the ability to adapt to the environment. Secondly, children\’s independent control of time is also a need for developing a sound personality and respecting individual needs. Deciding what to do independently can cultivate children\’s independence. Children who lack independent decision-making will not fully develop themselves, do not know what they really want, and lack their own opinions and attitudes towards things. Finally, what is even more detrimental than the above two points is that completely restricting a child\’s right to make independent decisions will still attack, weaken or even kill the child\’s vitality. There are many laws and principles of education. I personally feel that the one that is more important and should even be given top priority is not to stifle the innate vitality of children. This kind of life vitality includes: initiative and curiosity to explore the world; having a certain courage to do things, like a newborn calf; enthusiasm and impulse to do something, enthusiasm to explore, and socializing with friends often emerge throughout the day Enthusiasm, enthusiasm for doing what they like… No need for supervision from others, this enthusiasm to do something comes completely from their hearts; finally, it also includes the self-confidence or self-efficacy that should be within a certain range. Children are They are weak, but they also have their own unique self-confidence. Maybe when they mess up something, they will be temporarily depressed, but it does not change their confident and sunny background. They have a subtext that they do not know: \”I still have it.\” \”Small, I still have unlimited opportunities, and I have endless energy\”… This kind of life vitality is everyone\’s initial motivation, and later in life,Growth and development are related to it. Adolescence is the most energetic period of life, and even subsequent stages of life can be seen as the inertial continuation of this initial motivation. As psychologist Seidez said: \”People are like ceramics. The prototype of their whole life is formed when they are young.\” If they lose their vigorous vitality in their early years, they will be less motivated to explore and participate in the external world and reflect on their inner selves throughout their lives. They will become people without more autonomy. Willing people, mechanical people, even numb people. All these entropy-reducing, positive motivations that encourage people not to be lazy are strongest in childhood. The first principle of education is not to attack or restrict it, but to guide it, maintain it, and cultivate it. , the way of self-cultivation is at the moment when the child decides his behavior, the child bursts out from the heart with an impulse and enthusiasm to do something, and he really does it, at this moment he is a little life in the world. full master, no matter the outcome is good or bad. Therefore, in the above timetable, we must add a period of time where the child can decide what to do independently, or it can be called \”free activity time\”, even if it is only one hour. Parents do not do nothing during their children\’s free time. Parents can observe their children\’s behavior and determine their children\’s interests; they can provide positive guidance, such as showing the charm of human science, culture and nature in the direction of their children\’s interests; they can also provide resources for children\’s hobbies so that they can get better and better as they play. Professional; it can also become a child\’s playmate and play with them to a higher level. In addition, parents must also set safety boundaries and moral boundaries for their children\’s \”freedom\” to avoid things that should not happen. Safety comes first, but they must also follow necessary principles to avoid over-protection and excessive demands that may cause children\’s dysfunction. Feeling of limitation. I would also like to mention electronic games here. Electronic games are not games that occur naturally. They are \”games\” carefully designed by professionals based on human psychological characteristics (or even weaknesses). They have a strong sense of drama and a meaning that far exceeds real life. Feelings come one after another, making people indulge in illusory illusions. If the child cannot achieve moderation, try to have as little contact as possible and as late as possible. The best way to get rid of anxiety attacks? Chen Mo How to be a non-anxious parent 40 lessons completed Lu Xun once said that games are the most legitimate behavior for children… We should try our best to use rational and scientific concepts to overcome anxiety and fear about children\’s free time and independent behavior.