After watching Come on Mom, I realized that the mother’s pattern determines the child’s future.

Writer Munir Nasuf once said: \”Mother is the first school in life for her children.\” Mothers not only play the role of nurturing and caring for children, but also affect their children\’s personality development and development due to their different parenting styles. Destiny direction. Recently I was watching a popular drama \”Come on!\” \”Mom\”, the film shows 4 different types of mothers. Their life backgrounds, values, and upbringing styles are very different. To a certain extent, they also give different colors to the growth of their children. Strong Mother: Su Qing As a partner of a law firm, the strong woman Su Qing is vigorous and resolute in the workplace and dominates the limelight. Her husband, Li Xiuping, is also a leader in a law firm, and they work hand in hand to open up new territories for their family\’s future. However, the two people who are so prosperous in their careers are extremely lacking in the way of educating their children. Especially the mother, Su Qing, shows extreme strength and control when dealing with her sons. She treats her children as her own accessories and strictly plans their growth trajectory. For example, when it comes to learning, Xiaofu entered the \”chicken kid mode\” early. Answering questions, studying, training, running non-stop in order to squeeze into a high-quality school and achieve my mother\’s goal. Even in his daily life, Su Qing used his condescending power to the fullest. In front of her, the husband didn\’t dare to eat the cake. He obviously wanted to taste it, but he had to pretend that he didn\’t like it. When the younger son \”lost\”, Su Qing reprimanded the eldest son Xiaofu without any excuse. All aspects of oppression made the son feel suffocated and aggrieved. How to raise children who can appreciate a sense of responsibility and mission 20G [mp4+mp3] Child psychologist Rudolf Drex seriously pointed out in \”Children: The Challenge\”: \”Whenever we order or force When children do things, it will lead to a struggle for power.\” The way Su Qing treats his son is to forcefully deprive his son of his autonomy. What the mother fights for is control over her son and demands his absolute obedience to her. However, in the hearts of children, the germination of autonomy has long been deeply rooted, and they already have their own ideas and consciousness. A mother who is too strong may polish her child\’s independent thinking ability and raise a good child who has no independent opinions and is submissive. Or perhaps, one day in the future, the child\’s repressed autonomy will break out and become rebellious, subversive, and hostile to the world. Then as a mother, can\’t she fulfill her duties and let her children grow wildly? of course not. I believe that the original intention of all parents is out of love, and they hope that their children will have a smooth life and a smooth future. But the premise of all this effort is not to make decisions on behalf of the child, but to recognize the individual uniqueness of the child. Understand the child\’s inner feelings and fully communicate with the child on the premise of respect and equality. After all, the essence of strength and control is deprivation, but seeing and respecting is true love. Mother with Inferior Self-Esteem: He Xiaohan is different from Su Qing who is comfortable in the workplace. The mother He Xiaohan played by Dong Jie is a full-time housewife. Born in a rural area, she was originally a nurse. When she married her husband, a doctor who was well-groomed, well-off and had a bright future, she was not favored by her mother-in-law. After marriage, three generations live under the same roof. He XiaoAfter Han gave birth to her daughter, she stayed at home full time, and her mother-in-law found fault with her everywhere and scolded her more and more. When her daughter Youyou asked her mother some English words, but she couldn\’t answer, her picky mother-in-law took advantage of her and openly disdained her low academic level. She even bought her a set of elementary school textbooks for her to study, just to humiliate her. Such a provocation, but He Xiaohan did not dare to refute a word and kept swallowing his anger. The frustration of family life and the anxiety of a blank career plunged her into an abyss of pain, and she even developed a tendency to depression. And He Xiaohan\’s humbleness all stems from the inferiority complex deep in his heart. She is afraid of conflicts. Faced with the crowding from her mother-in-law, she just wants to make peace with the situation and does not dare to defend herself. At the same time, she is more afraid of loss, worried that she will not be able to protect her children and lose her current life. Various panics were intertwined, and her mentality became increasingly unbalanced and her condition became worse and worse. Psychologist Hong Lan once said: \”Mother is the soul of the family. If the mother is happy, the whole family is happy; if the mother is anxious, the whole family is anxious.\” Under He Xiaohan\’s repressed emotions, his daughter Youyou also became sensitive, dull, and unsociable. In the family, the mother\’s face determines the state of the child. If the mother has low self-esteem, negative energy, and bitterness and hatred, the child will become harsh, sad, and violent; while if the mother is confident, positive, and optimistic, the child will have a relaxed mind and be free and easy. In fact, there is no job in the world that is open 24 hours a day, all year round, and without pay. A mother\’s choice to return to her family is a contribution that deserves recognition and gratitude, and should not be prejudiced. As a stay-at-home mother, you must learn to accept yourself and recognize your own value. When conditions permit, find the right way and space to relax yourself and enrich your life. After all, children\’s eyes will always follow their mother\’s face. They will smile when you smile. Poor Mother: Qin Wei Whether it is the powerful Su Qing or the humble He Xiaohan, they are not bad in terms of financial strength. They can easily cope with the monthly kindergarten fees of several thousand yuan. But for Yueyue\’s mother, Qin Wei, she felt a lot of pressure. After gritting her teeth and sending her daughter to kindergarten, she saw the stark disparity again in conversations with other mothers. It turns out that in addition to kindergarten fees, matching school district housing, training classes, and high-quality resources all require financial support. She did not have enough money to support her desires, but vanity always dominated her, and she deliberately pretended to be rich. She was obviously going to take the bus home with her daughter, but she lied and said she was waiting for the bus, acting like a thief for fear of being found out. When she got home and saw her husband buying some cherries, she kept scolding him for spending money. Later, in order to raise money to buy a house in an expensive school district, she borrowed loan sharks from multiple platforms, dragging the entire family into a financial crisis. Love to take advantage, calculation, vanity, and extreme desire for money caused Qin Wei to lose herself, which also affected her children. Even her daughter Yueyue learned to imitate her mother, started a live broadcast in front of the camera, and started selling clothes. A poor mother will only raise children who are full of deprivation. Misplaced values ​​will cause children to lose their ability to judge and be overwhelmed by the torrent of the world. A mother with a rich heart will lead her children to a broader and more radiant world. some days ago,I saw Pang Zhongwang, a \”poor\” child with a bare family. His father died young and his mother was disabled. In this family environment, he fought his way out and was admitted to Tsinghua University with a high score of 744. One of his interviews once again made people see his \”richness\”: \”I don\’t feel that there is anything about my family that I can\’t take away.\” The firmness of his tone and the indifference of his expression make people both admire and sigh with emotion. In the corner, Pang Zhongwang\’s mother was sitting in a wheelchair, with the same smile on her face as her son. As a parent, you don’t necessarily have to give your child too many material things, but you must give him a rich mentality and spiritual world. Although there are too many comparisons and injustices in this world, if parents stabilize their mentality and have correct consumption concepts and values, they will build iron and steel walls for their children\’s world. It allows children to walk their own path firmly, see the scenery they like, and do the things they love. Holding Mother: Zhou Nannan Zhang Yuqi plays a single mother Zhou Nannan in the film. After she separated from her first love boyfriend, she gave birth to her son alone. Although the family was not complete, she did her best to give her child the best love. Zhou Nannan is a bank employee who works hard at work during the day. No matter how many setbacks she encounters, she will sort out her emotions and become a gentle mother as soon as she sees her son. When her son was questioned and suspected of stealing pencils, she immediately asked her son about the situation. After making sure that his son did not take someone else\’s pencil, he firmly supported his son, trusted and protected him. British psychoanalyst Winnicott, after studying nearly 60,000 pairs of mothers and children, found that good parents must be supportive, that is, accepting and supportive. Give him enough support when he faces setbacks; give him full affirmation when he develops well. Zhou Nannan is such a mother. She uses her tenacity, wisdom and strength to keep her son bathed in the warm sunshine. Seeing their mother and son, I thought of a friend next to me. Her son participated in the table tennis competition and ranked relatively low. The son looked frustrated, slammed the racket on the ground, and cried bitterly. The mother just stayed with her son quietly at first, patting his back and watching him gradually calm down, before she started talking to him. \”Would you like to go get a drink?\” \”I have experienced the unpleasant taste of failure.\” \”I see that you have tried your best. Maybe we need to improve our skills…\” She doesn\’t always think about blaming and criticizing her children. , but accept his emotions and give specific suggestions for the problem. She has always been rational and calm, giving new inspiration to her son while guiding him. This little boy, under the upbringing of this wise mother, grew up to be confident, brave, sunny and cheerful, and he was also a good athlete. A holding mother conveys endless strength and a source of love to her children, giving her children confidence, courage, and rich and powerful psychological capital. The writer George Herbert said: \”A good mother is worth a hundred teachers.\” A good mother will respect the personality of her children and listen to their voices; she will also reconcile with herself and find her own space and value. Feeling safe and calm; you will also stand firmly behind your child and be his most trusted friend. Only in this way can we give our children a sense of security and a rich heart.attitude and be a powerful spiritual support for children. I hope that every mother can wash away the tedious trivialities of life and open up a new path to nourish herself, protect herself, and illuminate the life of her children.